A fallacy in your head...

To days of inspiration To playing hookey To making something out of nothing To the need to express, to communicate To going against the grain To going insane, going mad To loving tension To no pension To more than one dimension To starving for attention To hating convention To hating pretention To riding your bike midday past three-piece suits To fruits To no absolutes To Absolut To choice To the village voice To any passing fad To being an us, for once, instead of a them To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries To yoga To yogurt To rice and beans and cheese To leather To dildos To curry vidaloo To huevos ranchero To Maya Angelou To emotion To devotion To causing a commotion To creation To vacation To mucho masturbation To compasion To fashion To passion, when it's new To Sontag To Sondheim To anything taboo To Ginsberg To Dylan To Cunningham and Cage To Lenny Bruce To Langston Hughes To the stage To Uta To Budda To Pablo Neruda To bisexuals To trisexuals To homo sapiens To carcinogens To hallucninogens To men To Pee Wee Herman To German wine To Turpentine To Gertrude Stein To Antonioni To Bertolucci To Kurosawa To Carmina Burana To apathy To entropy To empathy To ecstasy To Vaclav Havel To the Sex Pistols To 8BC To no shame To never playing the fame game To marijuana To sodomy To S&M To dance To no way to make a living To masochism To pain To perfection To muscle spasms To chiropractors To short careers To eating disorders To film To adventure To tedium To no family To boring locations To dark rooms To perfect faces To egos To money To Hollywood and sleaze To music To food of love To emotion To mathematics To isolation To rhythm To feeling To power To harmony To heavy competion To anarchy To revolution To justice To screaming for solutions To forcing changes To risk and danger To making noise and making please To faggots To lezzies To dykes To cross dressers To me To you To people living with, not dying, from disease

Pooh, you haven't any brains.

I have so much I want to tell you about, dear Reader, but I will have to prolong day-to-day activities post for a little bit longer, as I desperately need to write about the last hour of my life and perhaps rid myself of this stress and discontent.

I worked from 9 until 4 here at the Tomlinsons, and I planned to go Wal-mart after I got off. I went home first, where I found a little vagabond loitering on my front step. There was a three year old boy, half-naked, just standing there. I asked about his parents, and he said he was with his Nana, so I followed him to the apartment two doors down; the door was open and there was a woman asleep on the couch. I took the boy, who is named Christopher, in to my apartment and tried to figure out what to do. Before anything else, I dug out some old shorts with a drawstring. I think naked children are beautiful and innocent, but I had no plans of being caught in my house with an unclothed child I didn't know and who didn't know me. The shorts were green; he loves, he loves green, he told me. They looked baggy and ridiculous and sweet. Next I got him some chocolate milk and some Captain Crunch. I made him a few balloon animals and put on Fraggle Rock. I watched him for about an hour before I heard his Nana talking on the phone in the open apartment.
"Excuse me? Does Christopher belong to you?"

She had forgotten to put the chain on the door when she decided to take a nap, apparently. That is a Big Deal. He had no fear of the road or anything; after she came out to get him he ran around. He could have been hit by a car or he could have run very far away in the time he was out there (and I don't know how long he was out before I arrived). We don't live in a bad neighborhood by any means, but that doesn't mean there aren't bad people out and about. What if some creep had found him?

His grandmother seemed nice enough... I'm doing my best not to think bad thoughts about her, I really really and truly am. Should I have called someone? Leave me comments and make me feel better... everything is okay, but I have this residual panic that I can't seem to shake...

Me and my delayed emotional reactions...

To dogs!

No, Benny, to you!

Dance, dance, wherever you may be!

This might take me forever, because I will want it to be very accurate... it's teh character that's gonna get me... In other news, it is a beautiful beautiful beautiful day, and I, for one, will not be spending the whole time on the computer. We took some great photos today... I am well pleased. Church was alright. I don't know if Easter is just not as exciting at St. Joseph's anymore because of the music or if I just liked it more when I was younger. I hope it's not as exciting, becuase that means it could once again become the celebration it is supposed to be. Lunch was amazing... I'm full, stuffed even, but not bursting... just pefect.

I might go lay on the trampoline for a bit... wanna come?


1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.

2. I'll tell you what song/movie/book/fictional character reminds me of you.

3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. Or at least me.

4. I'll tell you my favorite memory of you.

5. I'll tell you what animal or plant of which you remind me.

6. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

7. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven-- with a gun."

Looking at him, High Eagle spoke. "I see that you are still the Man of Two Places. It is too bad. I ask you to see my death, for when you were little I told you it is important to know how to die well."

What I really wanna say, I can't define.

Additions to that schedule I just gave you! I'm at the Florence library returning some books. One of them is The Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss, and the other is Slater's Book by James Wyckoff. I enjoyed them both. I'm gonna check out some more books today. Another thing I forgot to mention: I might go to Mass tonight. Maybe. I should.

I went to Dr. Robertson's office, but he wasn't there... none of the sociology professors were in. Drat. I think I'ma go get my passport picture redone because I don't like the one I have. Vanity? Yes. But I'm going to have this picture for ten years, so it might as well be a good one. I know, I know... it's pitiful, and a waste of ten bucks.

See a secret; share a secret.

I just ordered A Softer World, PostSecret, and some animal comment that was kinda funny that you can order with A Softer World. I'm glad I ordered this stuff, because I really want it. I'm trying to waste my money on things I really want and not impulse buys or fast food. I haven't eaten fast food during Lent unless it was a concious, pre-mediated decision, and I think I'm going to continue that. A lot of times I see, therefore I want, and a couple dollars here and there adds up fast.

I'm about to go get a drop slip from my sociology professor; I'm quite nervous. Nothing to be done about it, though. Then I'm headed to Sheffield to get my birth certificate, then to Tuscumbia to visit the courthouse so I can get my passport. After that I might go to the park; Dad's taking his middle school there this afternoon. I might bring Bosco and Bella. They'd like that.

I wanted to tell you last night about Monday. Waking with William and Harris from the little park down the street back up to their house, we were greated with the smell of spring time. There have been flowers blooming for a while now, but that was the first time I'd been really assaulted with it this year, and it was wonderful. In other seasonal news, there is a great green green tree out our balcony; it's the most vibrant full grown tree I've ever seen.

I'm so excited... I'm so excited... I'm so... I'm so... I'm so scared...

Oh man... Saved by teh Bell on Adult Swim? This may be the most exciting news ever. No, I don't like the idea of them showing a non-cartoon. But for this, I can make an exception. :-p

I spent this morning at the park with William and Harris. We had a moment of magic under the gazebo. When we first walked on the bridge to the main part, we saw a turtle-- a big turtle! It was very exciting... so we fed him some bread. We watched him for a good give minutes before walking towards the middle, and there were hundreds of turtles! Maybe not hundreds... there were seven, though. It was beautiful. I've never seen so many turtles just hanging out like that.

I know there was something else I wanted to tell you, but now I can't remember. I might be back later. :)

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this.

This chick is worth checking out: www.nallforgovernor.com Here's what the email I got said;

"Vote Nall Y'all!

On November 7th, 2006, Loretta Nall is running in Alabama's race for governor. Why should you care? Well, she's pretty much a badass Libertarian who doesn't wear panties and she supports the legalization of gambling and marijuana, opposes gun control and the war in Iraq, and she wants to institute a check-box style governing system to let voters decide how their tax money is spent."

I'm not sure that I agree with everything she says, but I agree with a lot of it. Does she really have a chance at winning? Probably not. But you never know... I'm posting this on three different forums... maybe we'll get those 18-24 year old votes in for a change... If nothing else, she'll be different than any governor we've had before... check out the site, see what you think. Karen... don't even look at her site. Just pretend I didn't post this. ;)

I have much more to tell you about today, but now it is time for me to go to work at Grace Church. I will tell you about my hot boy moment yesterday...

I was stopped at the light on Wood at the intersection with Hermitage. I turn left, go down the hill, and BAM! Mr. Incredible walks down his front porch steps and across the lawn. He had curly black hair on his head and chest. He was scruffy. He was rippppped (like Jesus). He was holding a shirt he was about put on. He was wearing blue jeans. I almost wrecked the car.

Just throw a party in my name...

Man... I slept from 10 until 8:15... that was nice. I know I know, I'll still be tired around 3 o'clock, but I don't care. Right now I feel well-rested. I slept through phone calls and messages... I musta been out.

I got some pepermint sticks this weekend for William. I forgot to get lemons, though. I'll have to remember them for Friday. Did you ever do that? Put pepermint sticks in lemons and suck the juice out?

I'ma go eat some oatmeal before I leave for work. Yippee!

The African guy's a sign, right?

I got my little sister today! She was very talkative and sweet and I'm really excited about this coming year. It's gonna be fun... I hope. It's gonna be difficult, too, I think, so kindly keep me in your prayers. I'm nervous but very happy.

I worked at the day care tonight for a few hours. It wasn't bad. It was fun before nap time... it always suprises me to find that I really am good with kids. I mean, I know it, sure, but there are moments of clarity where I don't just know it, I think it and feel it. Reading to them last night and last night was fun...

I will not have televisions in my car. Ever. EVEREVEREVER. If one day I decide that I want TVs in my car because it will keep the kids entertained on long trips, please remind me of this post. Also remind me of this post if I ever think about getting my kids cell phones before they are 15. Emergencies. Bullshit. I want to be the kind of mother who knows where my kids are and who they are with, and if there is an emergency, I will know that the parent is going to be calling me. I know how easy it is to let your teenager arrange rides and whatnot, but I don't want that. I don't. And I know I know I know how hard it's going to be to stick by this when my kids are actually here and I'm a tired mother, but someone give me a nudge. I don't want that.

I got my passport photo today. It's pretty ugh, but it could be worse. I guess that's me for the next ten years!

Wait... they don't love you like I love you.

Belinda just called... I haven't been off work an hour and now I'm headed to Kid Safari. Arg.

Lacey's not feeling well, and Belinda has class on Monday and Wednesday night. I don't feel like going. But. Of course there is a but. Two, actually... for one, they need somebody... for another, I don't really have anything else to do. I was going to spend an unproductive evening here at home, but it would be just that: unproductive. I would probably waste time online and watch seven episodes of Queer as Folk or something. It's good that I'm going.

Other things that are good? These new panini from lean cuisine... This one is chicken, spinach, and mushroom, and it is amazing. I can't say that about most lean cuisines. This is really really good though. The other day I had a steak, cheese, and mushroom one... also excellent. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new favorite.

I love Winnie-the-Pooh.

She tapped her finger & nothing happened & she thought she had lost her magic...

...but it had only changed & it took her awhile to figure it out.

It's a motherfucker how much I understand.

So last night was ridiculously uneventful, but I suppose those nights are bound to happen.

I didn't realize how much damage had been done until I drove here to my parents house about an hour ago... creation, destruction, creation, destruction...

I got here to see Meagan... man, she is beautiful. Beautiful. Graham is wearing tails... he'll be picking up Diane in about half an hour... they are going to be so so so amazingly cute. I'm very excited. In fact, everyone is pretty excited as far as I know.

I'm babysitting tonight... I got a message saying they want me at five, but I'm not going in until six. I tried to call and let them know, but they didn't answer and their voicemail is full. Oh, well.

I remember taking pictures for prom. Junior year I went with Neil, and he was more nervous than any boy has ever been. He was really sweet. I'm glad I went with him. Senior year with Micah, and that was so much fun... life was so good. I wouldn't go re-live it, but I wouldn't mind visiting that period in my life again. I understand why they say high school is the best time of your life. I don't agree, because that would leave me damn little to look forward to, and besides, I've grown in a million different ways since high school. I miss the carelessness some, and I miss the innocence a lot, but... life is better. I'm better.

:-)

Funny, I always thought it was I who wanted to be more like you...

She is self-conscious because everyone

knows she has wings but they've never seen her fly.

Now & then there will be a feather in odd places or

maybe a footprint to show she was there.

All in all, she thinks it's nobody else's business

what she does with her free time.

It seems that everything I try to do, nothing seems to turn out right.

Here at the Tomlinson's early this morning... these boys are so cute.

Last night was great... my family is great... Jessica and I hung out over on Park Blvd. and ate steaks and squash and broccoli and smoked cigars and had, in my opinion, a pleasant evening.

Wednesday night was spent in the company of Lance, Jonathan, Thomas, and Jennifer as we traveled to the fair city of Atlanta to watch Death Cab for Cutie. It was wonderful... they were so fun to watch. The car ride was fun, too. I'll have to tell you more about it later.

In general, though, life is just falling down around me, and I don't know how to stop it. Whenever I'm not with people I feel this overwhelming lack of drive. School is going horribly this semester; I'm dropping my sociology class. I'm doing okay in Government and in Music Appreciation. I'm not doing well in Social Work.

In addition to this, I'm now facing an incredible disappointment in one of my friends, which I probably don't need right now on top of all this other emotional turmoil. It's a risk you run, I suppose.

Life is to sweet for such sad journal entries.

You'll try and try and one day you'll fly...

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Two summers with the Delinski's
2. Two summers with Jordan
3. Kid Safari
4. Tomlinson's

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. I Heart Huckabees
2. Garden State
3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
4. Brokeback Mountain

Four places I have lived:
1. On York Circle, in Sheffield
2. On Park Blvd. in Sheffield
3. Birmingham
4. Florence

Four shows I love to watch:
1. The Waltons
2. Any Day Now
3. Happy Days
4. Will and Grace

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Anna Maria Island
2. Destin
3. Gatlinburg
4. Virginia Beach

Four websites I visit daily:
1. livejournal
2. myspace
3. facebook
4. someeloquentgraffiti.blogspot

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Mom's spagehtti
2. Bread
3. Cotton Candy Blast ice cream
4. Seseme Chicken


Four places I would rather be right now:
1. There's no place in the world
2. I'd rather be
3. Than here in my room,
4. dreaming about you and me...

Everybody knows it hurts to grow up.

And you're so much like me... I'm sorry.