If you see Jesus, tell him to take the gerbil babies, they're Christians!

Well, well, cyberland, Merry Christmas to you! I hope your Christmas has been half as wonderful as mine. Things here were wonderful. It has been so nice to have all six of us in the same house. Ten years ago I wouldn't have believed that we'd get along so well. Ten years ago, we were 12, 10, 9, and 8, and a lot different than we are now. :) We exchanged family gifts Christmas Eve, then came down together the next morning. We ate dinner at my grandmother's with her and Uncle Jim and Aunt Alice and exchanged some gifts there. Today Aunt Dana and Uncle Keith arrive with the cousins, though I'll be at work. Sad day. I'm off tomorrow, though! I'll be spending the day at the lake and the night at O'Brian's. Yay!

Yesterday Bach took a nap with me, then last night he slept here, too. He and Bo have been a lot of fun. Let's see... New Year's Eve Eve will be spent at Camp McDowell, and New Year's Eve... maybe Birmingham? Maybe home? I don't know.

Anyway, I just wanted to record this as being one of my favorite Christmases. Mom, Dad, Lindsey, Graham, and Meagan are amazing. Even if we weren't related, I would want to hang out with them. Love and some verses,

All the rest are wrong-- they know nothing about us...

Today I vacuumed up a brown M&M at work, but the vacuum spit it right back out, and I briefly considered eating it.  I didn't have a hard-core point-counterpoint internal debate, but the thought did cross my mind.  I like to think of this situation, not in terms off all the negative things it may say about me, but more in terms of all the positive things it says about chocolate.

   The Special Session Christmas Party is Friday, and I've never been more ready!  I probably think that each year, but I don't think that necessarily makes it ever untrue.  Hey hey, Santa Clause, Kee Sloan, campers, friends, pizza, Christmas lights and Camp McDowell...

I've spent more time than dear old Books-a-Million would probably appreciate organizing the politics section at work.  Truth be told, I'm not aligned with the liberal agenda any more than I am with the conservative agenda sometimes, but it still brings me great pleasure to organize the books on those shelves.  Most titles are, of course, spine out, as one would usually put books on a shelf.  Some, though, are turned so that you can see the cover; usually this is done to display certain texts or just to take up space so the shelf looks packed (or for both reasons).  Anyway, amid the copies of The Mighty and the Almighty and Dead Certain, these titles stand out:
Follow the Money
A Woman in Charge (I don't even like her that much, but we have such ridiculous anti-Clinton books that I felt compelled...)
The Thumpin'
Day of Reckoning (Also not a fan of Buchanan, but I didn't have much else to choose from)
It's Getting Ugly Out There
Armed Americans (This is my ironic choice... really, it's just a huge book and hast to face this way... this is the only link I must require you to click... trust me, it's worth it.)
The Big Con
Giving
Broken Government
War on the Middle Class
From Beirut to Jerusalem
Crazies to the Left, Wimps to the Right
The Assault on Reason
god is not GOOD
Restless Virgins
Hubris
Bill of Wrongs
The Conscious of a Liberal
Cruel and Unusual
The Audacity of Hope
Dreams of My Father
The Secret History of the American Empire
Turnaround
Common Ground
The Fall of the House of Bush
State of Denial

   Umm, I'm gonna go add the rest of the links later.  For now, I am le tired.  Also, I'm linking them for your benefit, but also to look up these books... some people are quite tricky, and having had about 17 seconds a book to determine whether I wanted to pull it or not may have hindered the selection process.

I am also le recommending you all go listen to Terra Naomi.  I just fell in love with her.  Really.  Like, thirty minutes ago.  When I get off the computer, I'm going to find her house and propose to her.  You are invited to our wedding, but only if you bring a casserole of some sort.  Terra and I are big fans of pot-luck.

Let's sip champagne until we break into smiles...

I'm incredibly anxious about my exams tomorrow. I had one today, and it went okay. Not great, but okay. A lot of stuff I studied wasn't on the exam. Boo. Tomorrow I have Geography and Women's Studies, then it's over for another semester at least.

Updates... Jeff and I got our new dishwasher, but it doesn't work. Last night I went to Annette's house (one of my managers) and ate chicken and dumplings and apple pie-- it was fantastic! I love her to death. She gave me two ferns for the apartment; they are lovely! I also got a lightbulb I had ordered for one of the tall black lamps we had in our basement growing up. I was nervous that it wouldn't fit, but it did, so we can actually light the back half of our living room! Great timing, too... it came two days ago, I think, and the one little lightbulb we have blew today.

Things coming up... Thursday my Bible class is doing dinner at the Marriot, and am going to attend if at all possible. Friday after work Graham and I are headed to Camp McDowell for the Christmas party for Special Session! O'Brian and Meaghan graduate this weekend, and I couldn't be more proud! Umm... New Year's Eve Eve Reunion at McDowell on the 29th... that's it for now. Any plans anybody? Let me know A.S.A.P.

In other goings on... I met O'Brian's friend Matt the other night, and he's lovely. I hope we can hang out again soon. Also, Jonathan has been incredibly attentive and hanging out a lot in the last month or two, and it's been amazing!!! I also love love love J.T.-- a kindred spirit if there ever was one! I've seen Jessica several times recently, however briefly, and I've spent some great time with my family and cousins.

Anyway, school stress will be over tomorrow, and then I shall be free!

This is what Florence always looks like.

I'm a little nervous about what you'll say when you see me in my swimmin' trunks.

Hey hey! How's your day so far?

Today I've gone to Personality and cleaned up the kitchen a bit, but that's about it. I have a make-up test this afternoon, Geography class, and work from 4 to 9:30. We're supposed to get our new dishwasher here soon!

Yesterday was a really good day. I went to Bible, where we discussed homosexuality and the text; I found the discussion very interesting and I liked hearing what Nancy had to say. In Women's Studies, we talked about racism (we're on our chapter about what divides women in the fight for equality). I really really enjoyed our discussion, both because I felt I had something intelligent to bring to the conversation as well as because everyone in there is so open minded and interesting that we could actually discuss things without fear of offense. It was great. After that Jonathan picked me up from the apartment and we headed to the Mac store in Huntsville because he needed something for a presentation, then we drove by Phuket, but alas, they were closed. It's probably for the best because it looked expensive. We ate at the Macaroni Grill, which was fabulous, grabbed a milkshake at a local drive through, and headed home!

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot I went in to grab my keys then headed to Park Blvd., arriving seconds before my dad. We then left for Birmingham to watch my sister play basketball! She did a great job, and she got to play a lot. I guess normally she doesn't get much play time, which makes sense because she's a freshman, but they played Judson and it was a blow-out. Final score: Judson 33, BSC 100. While there Moonie came up to sit with us during half-time and then Thomas came over in the last quarter, which was super nice. He had been to see Eli Wiesel, who spoke at the school last night. Wow.

Man, I talked a lot on the drive with my dad. We had almost non-stop conversation, which was amazing. HE is amazing. He's just become such a positive person, and so accepting of people. It's incredible! We talked about school and work and family and his family and grandmomma and music. Anyway, after two hours in the car with Jonathan and four with Dad, my legs are sore from sitting and my throat is dry from chattering like an insane monkey and my brain is full and my heart is overflowing. :)

We'll be playmates and lovers...

I really like going to Wal-mart, where I spend an hour picking out the freshest organic vegetables, buy only 100% juice, get organic milk and free-range eggs, and maybe a block of extra-firm tofu, before going to through the check out and grabbing a bag a Doritos and a Dr. Pepper.

Oh, it's so amazing here...

"No matter how upside-down it all may temporarily appear, we will have no fear because we know this secret: Life is crazily in love with us—wildly and innocently in love with us. The universe always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it."

Jonathan asked me the other day if I would be such a positive person if I didn't surround myself with positive things all the time; we had been reviewing some recent Notes from the Universe (introduced to me by Jess). It was a passing query, but something I've thought about a lot recently, and I suppose it's a chicken-or-the-egg sort of thing. I suppose it must have eventually started with one or the other, but now it is a process with two steps dependent on one another. Anyway, if you're reading this, I probably consider you one of those positives with which I prefer to be surrounded. So, thank you.

Could you do me a favor and re-read the quote above? Now, if you saw the italics and didn't read it the first time, this means you need to read it twice in order to re-read it as I asked. I suggest reading out-loud, but to each his or her own. I suppose you may become tired of this positive-thinking mumbo-jumbo that seems to appear periodically on this web log of mine, but I want you to know that I really believe that the whole world is conspiring to shower us with blessings. I want you to know that.

Over the summer, I lost a hundred dollars towards the middle of July, I believe it was. Lindsey and I had been packing for the staff trip to Fort Morgan, and were wildly tired and insanely ready to be away from our cabins for a bit, having just been ousted for the third time that summer. I had a hundred dollars from a check cashed weeks ago that I planned to use on the trip. Once we got in the car, though, that beautiful little bill was gone gone. It wasn't a really big deal (I mean, I know it should have been, but spilled milk and all that, right?); Graham and Lindsey pitched in to get me food and what not and I paid them back later. I even told them that the money was either going to be found by someone else who could really use the extra money right then (we were leaving our cabins to Camp Kaleidoscope) or it was going to be found by me when I really needed it.

Well, tonight, I found it. I found it in an old cardboard box that has been moved from three different places, starting at camp and ending, yesterday, in my current apartment. I've dug through this box a dozen times or more, many of them actually looking for the money because it was the most likely place for it to have landed. How I managed to miss it, I've no idea, but I'm glad I did, because right now I need it.

Little things like this seem to happen a lot, and I hope I never forget to be thankful. There have been several times where I've needed the rend money and the next day Rosario would call to ask me to work for a long weekend. Last year at a time when I really wanted/needed to go to Birmingham, I found the $25 gas coupon my parents had given me for Christmas that had been unseen for months; it was under a couch I moved looking for a dime I had dropped. As early as a couple weeks ago, Aunt Alice came to visit and offered a boost that allowed me to fill our fridge and pantry for the first time in months! (Not that I had been starving... I notice that sounds a wee bit pathetic. However, I had eating off dollar menus and Mexican carry-out and dine-in meals taken home in two doggy bags to last for 3 meals more.)

It's not always money, of course... I promise that your calls, texts, and emails are always timed perfectly. YOU are timed perfectly.

I caught a trucker out of Philly, and he told a good joke.

Oh Dr. Mario, why did I just waste three hours playing you online?

And Rob says you love, love, love, then you die...

It's been to long since I posted, yet again. One day I will look at October 2007 entries and be sad that I didn't post more. Or maybe I'll laugh at how sentimental I was at 22. We'll see.

I'm at the Tomlinson's, waking up early to take the boys to school. I had to come tonight so I could have the car; Stephen and Rosario are going out of town tomorrow morning and I have William and Harris until Sunday afternoon. Yay! I'm excited about this.

I've been at Bookland for over a week now; things are okay. I love being around the books, and I wants to read everything, jeez. It's pretty boring, though. I'd rather do almost any menial task that just stand in one place for hours. We aren't supposed to do anything but straighten where we're standing. No food, drink, gum. No music. No reading. No reading at a bookstore? Yes, folks. No reading. Which would be understandable at, say, Books-a-Million. We have next to nobody in our store, though... oh, well.

Saturday after work I partied it up at J-Rob's, wOOt! I went as a country gal and Jeff went as Euro-trash. Meaghan was a gypsy and T.J. was a knight. We caravaned from the house in Sheffield, and on the way I blew out my tire, so Teej and Jeff changed it in the parking lot of Florence High School. It set a rather poor tone for the night, as I am below broke. I'm in debted to Jeff up to my ears with all these apartment bills. Man. Anyway, we finally made it (after splitting up and just looking for the place), where we were greeted by Mario (Thomas) and the sexy vixen cop Jennifer and the lovely queen Jennifer, as well as roommate Mandy and lamo Lance and Tyler, who weren't dressed up. ;)

We had a jolly good time, drinking and playing beer pong and flip cups and whatnot, then off to bed and wake up late and then to work! I don't remember what I did Sunday night... Monday I had a test in Women's Studies which I did not do well on. I knew the stuff, but I spent way too much time on the second essay question and nowhere near enough on the third, which was worth more points. Drat.

Oh, also Monday Jeff and I were approved for a townhouse in Florence! We've been moving stuff in since then, and we're almost completely there now. I'm really excited about our new home; come visit!!!

Umm.... backtracking... Tuesday was my momma's birthday! I didn't get to see her, but we talked on the phone a couple times. Wednesday was Halloween, and work was great because we had hundreds of children come to the store because the mall does store-to-store trick-or-treating. There were so many beautiful children; it made me miss day cares a lot. I also saw Jordan, who's applying at Gamestop. That'd be funtastic. Anyway, Jeff picked me up and we went to Christian's for just a little bit; it was late and we're kinda lame so we didn't stay, but it looked like a really fun party; we also got to see Louise, which was a super-pleasant suprise!

Alrighty... I'm gonna head to bed... I have too much to say right now to continue this post. So, to go over the highlights: my friends are amazing, I have a new apartment, I love you very very very much.

We could be daytime drunks if we wanted. We'd never get anything done that way, baby. And we'd still be ruled by our dueling perspectives... and I'm not my perpective... or the lies I'll tell you... everytime...

One must have chaos within oneself if one is to be a dancing star...

I got glasses again (finally).

I just got a job at Bookland (I start on the 22nd).

I'm going to Birmingham this afternoon (with Jeff).

I may be working Saturday (but I may be working Sunday instead).

I'm broke, but I'm happy.

I'm poor, but I'm kind.

Hipster Olympics!!!

If the days aren't easy, and the nights are rough...

Say yes we live uncertainty
And disappointments have to be
And everyday we might be facing more
And yes we live in desperate times
But fading words and shaking rhymes
There’s only one thing here worth hoping for
With Lucifer beneath you and God above
If either one of them asks you what your living of
Say love, say for me love
Say love, say for me love

Note to Self

damn this quicksand

hungry sucking sounds make
bile rise in my stomach

throw me a goddamn rope

or would you rather watch
this slow-motion train wreck?

you know how dangerous it is to be born with breasts

We just watched a film about sexism in advertising, and I almost started weeping in class. Not crying, not bawling, but weeping... the tears of a dull ache that can't be fixed with a kiss and a band-aid. I know this sounds melodramatic to some of you, but I'm about done being apologetic about my budding passion for women's studies. It's more than a new interest or a temporary hobby. These things are so important, so very real, and they affect everyone.

We saw ad after ad where women were made into objects... literally, objects. They were beer cans and cars. We saw tons with women objectified and sexualized, where they were tied up and gagged, where they covered their mouths and bit their lips. And the women... 100% of the women in advertising represent a body type that describes 5% of our culture. In addition, the women are flawless to the point of obscurity, now more so than ever as computers reshape chins, delete wrinkles, erase necklines, broaden eyes, whiten teeth...

This particular video dealt with their sexualization, but it's more than that... My current least favorite commercial is a LeanCuisine commercial, I believe. It features a line of women discussing the bland dinners they suffered through the night before, expect one lady who details her succulent meal. What gets me about this advertisement, what drives me absolutely mad, is that no one questions why the hell five perfectly fit women are on a diet!!! It didn't occur to me until last week to question it, and I've seen the damn thing a million times!

They are not just eating healthily. To maintain their tiny figures (and the women on these commercials are incredibly thin), they must starve themselves? That's ridiculous!!! If you can't keep a size 2 waist while eating healthy, balanced meals, you are not meant to have a size 2 waist! Now, I'm all for feeling good about yourself and treating your body right, but I think this goes beyond that. Skipping meals or going to the gym five times a week to maintain a figure you weren't born to have is unnatural and unhealthy for both body and mind.

And it starts so young! Which reminds me, I am boycotting Calvin Klein, as the ads we saw today made me vomit in my mouth. More than any other company, this brand sexualizes children. It was disgusting, and I've never felt so gross as when I saw a mostly naked fifteen year old trying to sell jeans. I felt dirty for even seeing the commercial.

Maybe the worse thing for me right now, though, is my inability to separate what I want and what I'm told to want. I've been on and off diets since I was 12 years old, long before anyone, ANYONE, should be dieting. Now, I'm trying to loose some weight. And I don't eat badly!!! I have a diet full of vegetables and fruits and whole grains and protein! I walk around campus and around my neighborhood and the mall! I drink water, lots of water, and I've cut things like corn syrup out of my diet almost completely! So... why do I struggle to shed inches, and squeeze myself into pants a size to small? I don't have an entirely organic meal plan, but I don't eat fast food with any sort of regularity, nor any other product equally unhealthy. I'm taking care of my body.

This probably needs cleaning up, as there is infinitely more to say and plenty more intelligent ways to say it, but I wanted to get this out before I exploded...

Crazy- what are you, then?

Most people associate innocence with naiveté. Conventional wisdom regards it as belonging to children and fools and rookies who lack the sophistication or experience to know the tough truths about life. But the Beauty and Truth Laboratory recognizes a different kind of innocence. It's based on an understanding that the world is always changing, and therefore deserves to be seen fresh every day. This alternative brand of innocence is fueled by an aggressive determination to empty one's imagination of all preconceptions. "Ignorance is not knowing anything and being attracted to the good," wrote Clarissa Pinkola-Estes in Women Who Run With the Wolves. "Innocence is knowing everything and still being attracted to the good."

And the sky opened up with the soil of the sun...

Hello, cyber-friends, and welcome to the much anticipated return of Grace's Random Ramblings. While updates are infrequent and often times incomprehensible, you can always count on complete sentences and accurate punctuation.*

*No representation is made that the quality of blogging services is greater than the quality of blogging services offered elsewhere.

So... we're headed to the Quest tonight, and maybe the Yacht Club (which I have never attended). We just went from having no place to sleep to three offers, which is fantastic and means we won't have to crash someone's pad with just a grin and a guilt trip. Yay!

In other news... I've been spending a lot of time with my Little, and it's been fantastic. We're meeting once a week to work on homework. We might be going to Chuck E. Cheese on Tuesday. I watched her play soccer last weekend, and she did a great job.

I'm applying for jobs around town next week. I'm also going to keep Harris a couple times a week; they're pulling him out of day care. I'm not sure how that's going to work.

The fair is this weekend, but I don't think I'm going. Sad day. Big Spring Jam is next weekend, and I am going to that. I'm very excited. Hmm... apartment shopping is going well, I suppose. We have a list of places, but we haven't toured any yet. On that note, though, we're going to stay where we are until they sell-- you can't beat the rent we're paying.

In closing, I'll be updating this thing much more frequently, starting now.

The people thought that they were just being rewarded...

Guess who is playing house? That's right, yours truly. I've got the boys for five days. It's rather intimidating, but I'm still excited. I took them to school this morning, and I'll pick them up again around 2:30. I have class from 10 to 12 today. I really like both of my classes. In "Intro to Women's Studies," we have a speaker coming today from Rape Response. It should be interesting.

I have a lot I need to do, starting with calling my Little, Jessica. I talked to her some last week, but plans went ary when I had to schedule a doctor's appointment. I'm going to ask her grandmother if I can pick her up every Monday after school and take her to the library, where we can do homework together. Lametastic, right? Maybe not, though. I think I would have thought homework less atrocious if I got to break the routine of it sometimes. We'll see how it goes.

Life is busy busy busy! I still need to find a job before I let myself get to comfortable working for the Tomlinsons again. I need to get my oil changed. I need to find a new apartment. Ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got a little nostalgic about camp last night, and I'm not sure why. Maybe I was dreaming about it in my sporadic sleep. I started missing some of you folks muchly. I was also thinking about how quickly we adjust from situation to situation. Anyway, I'm ready to play sometime soon.

I also have a message from Lindsey on facebook, but I can't check it from here because they've blocked that and myspace. Saaaad day. Oh, I have a reminder for everyone. Check it out. It can't hurt.

Umm, let's see. I spent a fantastic weekend in Florida with Lance and Jeff at dear Jessica's. The drive down wasn't bad, I guess. I slept for a good bit of it as I tried to ward of a stomach bug I had. I think it may have been something I ate. It was decidedly unpleasant. I vomited at this one tiny gas station, and I'm pretty sure the whole store was listening. It was crazy loud. Eww. Once we got there the weather was beautiful and the company pleasant. We saw dolphins up close and went out for sea food once and watched a lot of television. It was great. The drive back was... tiring. We probably should have left earlier. I wish I'd gone back home early Monday morning, but we didn't. I didn't know my sisters would be in town. Blah! We did eat lunch with Jeff's parents, though, and that was nice.

Tuesday Jeff and I went to the lake for a bit, then we met the fam (Mom, Dad, Graham, Aunt Alice, Uncle Jim, and Grandmomma) at Ricatoni's for dinner. It was fantastic. We had a good time, and Jeff and I got lots of leftovers! Yay!

I said, "Do ya speak-a my language?"

Big Spring Jam is Friday, September 28, through Sunday, September 30. Bands I'm super excited about? Foreigner and the Avett Brothers. Other bands I'd like to see: Sawyer Brown, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic, Pat Greene, Los Lonely Boys and the Commodores. I'm not really into Breaking Benjamin, but I know some of you fine folk are, and they'll be there as well! Also, I'm going to St. Thomas that Sunday. I'm gonna call Rosemary and see if I (and whoever wants to come with) can sleep at her house. If for some reason that weekends no good for her, I'm pretty sure someone in Huntsville will let me crash there. Yay for lots of friends!

In the next month or two I'm going to get a Net Flix account. I'm pretty pumped about that. Recently Jeff and I have been plowing steadily through Avatar and Nip/Tuck. Soon I would like to begin The Sopranos (my parents have that) and maybe the O.C. (because Lance demands it).

There are so many people I need to call and see and visit and invite. I miss several people from camp, and I still haven't recconnected with a lot of people here that I'd really like to see. I need to hang out with Jessica, my Little, who I haven't seen in forever, as well as my grandmother, who I miss a lot. Wahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You like to put jelly on ladies?

Meagan left for Birmingham this morning. Man oh man. It is official, I suppose. We're all in college. Crazy! I'm doing the normal nostalgic nosedive into depression, but it's nothing new and nothing serious. I love my family. I love this house.

Tonight I'm going to babysit for the Tomlinsons. I saw them Thursday. They've definitely grown in the last three months! Harris is speaking in full sentences. They were both so wonderful; it was great to see Rosario, too, although she was sick, and I hope she's feeling better now. Next month I'll be staying with them five days in a row. I'll be taking them to day care and everything... I get to play house! And at a gorgeous home, too... it's amazing what the desolate little mountain lot has become.

This semester I have Intro to Women's Studies, The Bible as Literature, Geography II, and Personality. I'm really excited about my schedule, aside from the Geography, but even it should be okay.

All of us are crazy good in one way or another.

I must get back into the habit of updating this thing.

So. So so so.

Classes start tomorrow! I have a potential schedule, but I can't register until my advisor gets back in town (tomorrow) and releases my hold. Classes should be fun and interesting. I can't graduate by December. Also, I was just told yesterday that I have to have a minor. While I was interested in obtaining one in Women's Studies anyway, I'm a little floored that I've met with three or more teachers about my degree and have never been told this bit of information. Jeez.

Jeff and I are renting/house sitting? at a little place on Gordon Avenue in Sheffield. It's precious. We did fondu there last week with Meaghan, Moony, Graham, O'Brian, and Jessica. Jessica? Yes, Jessica! She was in town for a while.

Time to backtrack and give a rundown of my life since the last post:

~ Camp ended. The last session was fun and tiring and right on time. I had a groovy cabin.
~ I road with Ryan to Birmingham, where I was dropped off at Tyler and Brittney's apartment.
~ Tyler, Lance, Brittney, Rachel, Bailey, Jennifer, Thomas, and I went to eat at P.F. Chang's
~ In celebration of Tyler's 21st, we headed to Loco's.
~ Daniel came, too, along with Lauren Banks, Miller and Jack (who I hadn't met before)
~ We had a rip-roaring good time, then went back to Tyler's to celebrate some more
~ Jeff got me and we went back home to look at the house mentioned above.
~ Meaghan, O'Brian, and I went to Fort Walton to visit Jessica.
~ We spent two different days on the beach, and saw some huge jelly fish.
~ We went to Howl at the Moon, one of Jessica's hang-out spots.
~ O'Brian and Meaghan left early Monday morning; Jessica and I left shortly after.
~ J-Money and I stayed the night in Birmingham with Lance, Tyler, and Brittney.

Since being home, Jessica, Jeff, Jonathan, Mooney, Meagan, Melissa, and I went bowling, and aftwards Jessica and Jonathan came to the house to watch The Labrynth. Funtimes. Jessica and I also hung out a lot this week; she went home yesterday.

Now Jeff and I are at the UNA library working on his resume/playing on facebook. This afternoon we're going to move my bed to the house. Yay! Yesterday we moved some other randomness (and a lot of clothes) in. I'm about to do some serious cleaning and ditching of useless knickknacks.

Tomorrow we're going to Loui Loui's, at the invitation of Louise. I'm sure there's more to record, but for now, I'm going to do a crossword. Hurrah!

When the sun shines, we'll shine together...

Here it comes... the last session of the summer. Despite the waves of stomach turning nostalgia that hit every time I move from any temporary home, I'm excited about being back in Sheffield soon.

The plan for now... pre-camp starts at 3 today. We'll have campers tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday morning. They leave Sunday afternoon, and we spend the pm hours cleaning and whatnot, and I assume hanging out around camp. There's talk of staying Monday night as well, but if we don't I'll probably head to Birmingham for Tyler's birthday!

I leave for Fort Walton again on the 9th with Mdawg and my main man O'Brian Gunn (haven't spent time with them in ages, looking forward to the seven hour drive, believe it or not!), then we get back on the 12th or so, and I move into Jeff's apartment (Chris is moving to Birmingham!). Man, so much, so much. Back to camp for the last time as an employee this summer... love to all of you.

And Max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all.

Life as of late has been quite the roller coaster. Last session was stressful for me, and I got super irritated at several people, but other parts were great. The last night, I took my cabin stargazing. We went up the hill and spread out a few blankets, and we read the last two chapters of Hope for the Flowers, which I've read to every cabin I've had thus far. They really loved it. Then we all lay with our heads in the middle and talked about a lot of different things, from Napoleon Dynamite to alcoholism. It was intense. Around 11 we headed back towards the cabin, but before we could get there Carpenter, the cabin of Mr. Wil Heflin, jumped out of the woods and scared the bejesus out of my seven campers (I originally had 9, but two had to leave early, which was a major bummer... also, Lauren Maggart was co-leader of the cabin this past session, as she was my fabulous CIT). Almost to bed when Ed's Cabin, lead by Kathryn, jumped out of the dark to frightene the girls again (they were laying in wait for Carol Smith, but alas, CS were late getting back). Once in our cabin, we prepared for bed before yet another scare as John Michael led Advent in a rousing game of "bang on the windows and scare the crap out of Barnwell." It was a fabulous night.

Also noteworthy of last session: At one of the staff meetings, the lovely male counselors decided to have a cue word (it happened to be "Amen") on which they would remove their clothing, so at the end of the opening prayer, a handful of counselors were suddenly half-naked as the rest of us proceeded to gaze from face to face making sure we weren't the sole outsiders on this inside joke. With our boss, two priests, and all the bewildered people in the room, it made for one of the most hilarious things I've ever been privileged to witness.

Before Junior High II (the session I described above), the staff went to the beach house of the Kendrick family in Fort Morgan for our two day break!!! It was amazing, despite early feelings of unease on my part. On the way down, Graham, Lindsey, and I listened to The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon. It was absolutely incredible. I highly reccommend it to anyone, especially though who wish a better understanding of autism, specifially in regard to the way they process information and their feelings on being touched. Anyway, we walked down to the water where most of the folks were hanging out already; I was wearing a glow bracelet which Ryan took with his teeth, bursting the plastic and dribbling a glowing green galaxy on the wet sand under our feet. Chris and Worth played guitar on and off and on again throughout out our breif stay, giving a specific memory to the song "At the Beach." Lindsey, Graham, and I spent the morning making spaghetti and meatballs and sausage for everyone, as well as key lime pie and jello! It was so fun to cook with them, and I love the satisfied feeling of feeding a hungry crowd.

Speaking of the beach- I just got back from Fort Walton! The siblings and I left camp around 12:30 (I think) Monday and returned home, where we visited with the parents and sister and did various errands and such. Soon, Emily (who traveled with us, hurray!) and Lindsey left for Birmingham and then the lakehouse where the staff decided to get together this break (sans me, this time), and soon afterward Jeff came over and he and I began our journey down to Birmingham as well, where we met Lance and Britni at Tyler and Britney's apartment. We moved our stuff to Lance's vehicle and got on our way to Jessica's! Five-ish hours later we found ourselves on her doorstep, tired but otherwise jolly, and happy, of course, to be there. We awoke early the next morning and enjoyed a lovely french toast breakfast before making a be-line for the shore, where we idled away most of the day, loosening our tongues and baking in the sun and rolling around in the cool cool ocean. Eventually we packed up and headed home, stopping first to enjoy dinner at a lovely local restaurant and meandering about the neat little shopping center it called home. We also stopped at Baskin Robin's, where Britni re-discovered bubble gum ice cream (with chiclets!), a long lost part of her childhood. Back at Jessica's, we popped the cork on a bottle of champagne, put Closer on the telly, and promptly fell asleep and the devilish hour of 11.

Yesterday we lounged about the apartment for most of the morning, cursing Books-a-Million for calling Jessica into work and bemoaning our various and uncomfortable sunburns before hitting the sands again (lathered in SPF 35, of course). From the get-go it was a nature kind of day; I caught a tiny fish in my cupped hands with 10 minutes of arriving. Later Jeff and I observed various schools of fish, from a small group looking for protection in the shade of their dear savior Jeff to a larger commune attempting (we believe) to eat said smaller group. My feet were also bombarded by little sand colored fish later in the day, and we witnessed several rather largish jelly fish, including one who felt inclined to hug my leg from the back of my knee to the top of my ankle. I confess, that particular brush with sea life I could have done without. We left that night a bit before nine, caravanning this time with Tyler, who had been with his family in Destin for the week.

This break was what I needed, I think. I'm quite refreshed, please and thank you, and looking forward to Elementary II. I rather like this age group (entering 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, I believe), and I'm excited about being back at camp. The summer is quickly coming to a close. I know this is a long update, but I suppose it's rather more for my fading memory than for your viewing pleasure, though if you do happen to scan these paragraphs, I hope you find it quite informative and at least mildly entertaining. Love!

I am crying in the bathroom.

Hello, folks.

How's life? Going well, I hope.

Things are good here. We've had many sessions since we last talked, including Special Session, which is by far the best (but who didn't expect that?). I just love that staff so much. As they were arriving I felt like the Grinch when his heart expands, increasing a size with every wonderful person to show up. I do wish I'd been less tired, because I think I missed out on a lot of staff bonding time, but I like that we're close enough that it's okay. Dewayne Handley is my life. Britni coming made the whole week 1234 times better than it would otherwise have been. Lance, Mark, and Jeff dropping made for a fantastic dance, and did the engagement of the beautiful beautiful (inside and out) Anne and Blake; I don't think I've ever had so much confidence in a life-long partnership as I do in the two of them.

Other things... staph! That's right, lots of the staff had staph, although I believe the worst of it is over. Apparently, it's not contagious, despite spreading to 4 different people (a coincidence, we were assured). Crazy.

Umm... my birthday! Amazing. The entire camp woke me up by yelling "good morning, Grace" outside my cabin door at 7ish in the morning. I don't think I've had a better wake up call in my entire life. I got to wear a fun crown all day (which I still wear from time to time), and Meagan came for a surprise visit around rest time! After doing compline with my family (siblings and Katie (Morgan was at camp that week, too, but she went on the overnight)), I got back to my cabin to find a Lance and a Britni and a Tyler and a Cooper! Granted, I had to immediately send them home because we can't have surprise visitors during the session, but they brought me a chocolate cake and made the day perfect.

Oh! I got a new phone! I don't really like it, but I'm sure I will... anyway, I don't have any of your numbers, so call me and leave me a voicemail so I can get in contact with you at some point, kthanks. Also, a letter? Anyone? O'Brian sent me a letter, and it was amazing, and I felt super loved. I'll be writing you back soooon, love. My address:

105 Delong Road
Nauvoo, Alabama 35578

Last week Nancy was at camp and in my cabin; it was great spending time with her. I've also gotten to see Aunt Laura a couple times this summer, which is nice, because I miss her. Grandmomma picked Nancy up Thursday after some mishaps, and brought with her Morgan, so yay for seeing them, as well!

God knows there's so much more to tell you, Reader. Camp is just full of mind-blowing experiences, all of which I need to record. For now, I'm tired, and ready for breakfast, and then church with the fam. I may update again before I leave in a few hours, but I make no promises.

Untrue. I make you this promise:

You have changed my life by your presence in mine, and I love you for that.

"Love is being stupid together," said French poet Paul Valéry.

To celebrate your ramble through the most wildly independent phase of your astrological cycle, I'm offering you three inspirational quotes. The first is from poet e.e. cummings: "To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle that any human being can fight." Your second shot of motivation is from Clarissa Pinkola Estes: "If you have ever been called defiant, incorrigible, forward, cunning, insurgent, unruly, or rebellious, you're on the right track. If you have never been called these things, there is yet time." Lastly, here's a Hindu proverb: "There is nothing noble in being superior to some other person. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self."

The angels sang when you were born.

Soooo... I'm feeling pretty homesick right now. I miss you guys a lot. Jessica was in town last week, and I couldn't see her, and I hate hate hate that. I haven't spent real quality time, like no schedule, just us time, with Lance probably all year. I got to see Jeff a week ago or so, which I think made me miss him that much more. I miss O'Brian and Jonathan a lot, too, not to mention all my other wonderful friends (and I'm not going to try and list you all).

So much to tell you! But no time. Ever. I have a sheet of memory cues in my cabin, but I'll need to take time to actually read each one and let the memories sink back in before I type it all out.

Last night was fun. I'm finally clicking with a lot of the staff. Lee left last week; we was one of the first people I got close to. That blows. The staff is cool as shit, though. No lie. We just ended Junior High I; before that was Senior Camp (which BLEW MY MIND), and before that Elemtary I. Next is Sophomore Camp, and Katie and Morgan will be here! Hurray!

Some random things... we played Laser Tag the other day, and I was the top scorer in my game! Woohoo!

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be. Love always, Charlie

Don't say it's over, 'cause that's the worst news I could hear...

Well, guys, I've finished my first week at camp. It was all training; some was fun, some was boring. I'm CPR certified now. My cabin is Barnwell. I'm next door to Lindsey, who is in Carol Smith. I'm home for the moment. Things are muddled. There's so much going on right now. My friends at BSC graduate tonight. It's bittersweet. I'm so so proud of them for all they've done. I really stumbled upon a great group of folks up there. Lance, Britni, Mark, Jennifer, David, Joe... not to mention Melissa, who graduated a semester ago. There are others who I don't even know well that I'm thinking about... Mattie and Marcus and their crew. We're not great friends, but it was comforting to know that group was around and about on the Birmingham-Southern campus. Anyway, I just wish I was there. I love you guys.

Meagan graduated from Deshler High School last night. The ceremony was long and the speaker talked about American Idol a lot, which was pretty blah for those of us who don't watch it. I tuned out a bunch. Meagan looked beautiful. I'm really proud of my family, too. Mom had a lovely get together afterward. The food and the company were both pleasant.

The stars at Camp McDowell are brilliant. Brilliant. We went on a nature hike last week with Big Dave, and he was super interesting; I really wish I could have retained all the amazing things he talked about. He made fire. It was amazing. Also, I saw a scarlet tanager last week. Yay! We did some incredible team building exercises. We had a pasture party, and I played frisbee. I love conquering insecurities, and playing frisbee was one of them. Silly, perhaps, but a private battle nonetheless. We did the climbing wall. It was intense. I'm gonna have to top that thing by the end of the summer.

Jeff is in Pensecola with Chris and Ricky and Josh and various other sundry characters. I hope they're having a blast. Britni's coming to Special Session this summer, and I'm more excited about that than anything else this summer, which is saying a lot.

The staff partied in Tuscaloosa last week. It was fun. I really love Wil Heflin. A lot. I'm terrifyingly happy to be working with him and my sister and brother all summer. I'm scattered right now. Perhaps on the edge of a spaz attack. I miss you guys. Love!

How to Love an ENFP

• Appreciate my creativity, curiosity, and uniqueness.
• Tell me how much I mean to you and be patient with my need to process how I feel privately before sharing it with you.
• Re-establish harmony quickly.
• Support my need to try new experiences and maintain my many friendships.
• Try not force decisions too quickly, or bug me about being messy.
• Above all - encourage me to keep growing, changing, and experimenting with life.

So... I thought that was rather interesting. I have talked about most of these with some of you at some point or another. I might post some other things I find later... I also have much to tell you. I'm in such an odd odd mood right now. I'm at the Tomlinsons. The boys are watching Toy Story. I need to clean the kitchen, and they're about to go to bed.

The parking lot had an element of danger.

Well well well, what an exciting week it has been! That is to say, a few very exciting things have happened, surrounded by a calm normality that seems almost out of place. First, some exciting news:

I did really well this semester! Okay, not really well compared to, say, all of you, but really well considering how much effort I usually put into college courses... or any study, for that matter. Anyway, I found out today I got a C in Literary Composition, which was, in fact, a difficult class, as well as the only class I've been worried about. I have an A in Freshman Composition (as well I should, even considering the five total minutes of work I put into that class), and a B in Nature Writing. I'm pretty sure I'll have an A or B in Images of Women in Literature; I don't see how I'd get a C in there, but even if I did, I don't much care, because it's not a D or F.

I can't register for classes next semester because there's a financial hold, and advisor hold, and a transcript hold.

Meagan signs with BSC tomorrow... I really hope things work out for her. I'm nervous and excited. It'd be a great kinduv full circle thing if she got to finish school there, but I would hate for her to have to pull out after a few semesters, or to not enjoy herself once she got there. It is a very very white school.

OOOhhh, and here's the most exciting thing this week: BNL!!! I got to spend the concert with Lance, Britni, and Mark, and it was AMAZING! They were so gooood! My third semester of college is defined by them and their music, and it was great to see them and share it with there of my best friends. Man, you guys, I love you so much.

As to the actual concert... there was much crowd surfing, which was VERY annoying... as you may or may not know, crowd surfing should be restricted to indoor venues where audience members are packed like sardines. Not only were we outside, but our particular area wasn't horribly cramped, so said surfers inevitably found themselves falling about our heads. Irritating the first time, frustrating the fourth or fifth, fucking ridiculous the 15th. Of course, it makes a good story, and I'm sure we'll have fun being happily bitter together about it in the future. I did my best to make as many people fall near me as possible; Mark tried to take the shoes of the surfers, and succeeded once, although th guy took his shoe back before collapsing on Lance's head; Lance lost his sunglasses but retrievedthem almost unscathed thanks to the group efforts of those in our immediate area and many cell phone lights; Britni and I both suffered elbows to the head.

In other news... Jeff and I have watched the first three episodes of the Hellsing series this week. I've really enjoyed it, although I think it's good that they release them every few months, because I like it better when all the effects and gory stuff are still exciting and I'm not used to them. The second episode was my favorite; I think I was a little out of it when we watched the third, though. We also watched Batman Begins last night, and I made a broccoli and onion quiche, which was very delicious.

Monday night I went to Margarita Mondays with Jeff and O'Brian and Amandine and Louise and J.J. ... and oh goodness, let's see if I can remember the rest of the people (most of which I'd met once before at the beach or never at all)... umm... there was Hannu, Uche, Jennifer (who I never actually met), Leoni (who I also didn't talk to, but who seemed very fun and exciting, and also the boy beside her, who I don't remember), and Ali. I think (and I may be very wrong) that is everyone I met. Anyway, it was very exciting, and I wish I'd met some of these students sooner. The night, overall, was very fun, and I have some pictures I must put up soon.

School is done, but I still have a great many things to get done. I need to become CPR certified. I need to rent a storage unit. I need to move out of my apartment. I need to mail off my camp stuff. I need to email Britni a Special Session form. I need to not go crazy.

I'm gonna miss all of my friends so much this summer. Funny thing, that- most of the people here I've known less than a year. How about that. O'Brian and T.J. I've know for years, of course, and there's Jonathan, and Lacey, and Terri, but the rest of my good friends have moved away or I met in Birmingham. There's a lot of new people I'll miss, though (and I was going to name them, but I'm afraid I'll leave someone out). I have amazing friends everywhere, and I'm so excited to about the ones I'm going to make this summer. Still, I'm gonna miss you guys...

In closing, my horoscope: The counsel I'm about to offer is not given lightly. If you choose to heed it, it could wreak discomfort and disorder, at least initially. And you'll have to pump yourself up with more courage than you're used to feeling. Still, I'm convinced it's the right thing for you to hear; I believe that any breakdown it might engender will ultimately lead to a breakthrough. So here's the advice, courtesy of Franz Kafka: "Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly."

Oh, little journal, how often I neglect thee...

I keep putting off the day to day accounts of my being because I want to take the time to blow you away, Reader. I want to do a post that's inprirational and empowering and flooded with all the things boiling inside me right about this past weekend. I don't have time for that, though, not now, and so I put off writing down the facts, so one day when I do have the time to churn out a tear-worthy essay, I won't remember the things I want to remember.

Anyway, here they are- some facts, that is...

I worked until 10ish Friday night and then went to Jeff's to sleep for a bit. I woke at 4:30ish and went to the parents' house to get Graham's car, which I then drove to Tuscaloosa. I got to watch the sunrise on the road (it seems I've done that a lot over the past year), and I listened to NPR the whole way. I got to Lindsey's dorm room at 7:30, where I changed and then headed (with her and Genivieve) to meet the rest of the group and load the van and cars with cardboard and crackers and water. We left at 8:30, maybe, and drove to the Civil Rights Park in Birmingham.

Even in broad day light, that place is sketchy as hell. I wonder what the people honored in this place would think of their legacy now? That's a topic for another day...

We found a Nathan, which was VERY exciting, as well as Terri, who is doing a piece on rural poverty and suburban poverty (if I remember correctly), but being a journalist, she came to talk to our group! It was a pleasant surprise. We stopped there to decorate the vehicles; we were quite hippied up by the time we left for Atlanta.

Actually, we went to Woodstock, where we drove to an empty field and unloaded everything, registered, and began to build our cardboard villiage. It was really incredible,,, when we got there things were all painted with Invisible Children logos and whatnot, and everyone was so very excited to be together and representing a fantastic organization. I got to talk to some of Lindsey's friends more than I have before, which was great, because they're pretty wonderful people. I spent the majority of my time with Ryan and Stephanie, though I also talked a lot to Genivieve and Kristen (and Lindsey, of course!). Ryan and I constructed a lovely little cardboard home and pretended to play house; I must say, I was sad to leave our humble abode.

Not too terribly sad, mind you- it was rather full of spiders and the heat didn't work.

We spent a fair amount of time being recorded for the video they plan to show before the senate, and then had a short break before returning to see our speaker, a Ugandan minister who has been displaced for the entirity of the war. We also watched videos, had our crackers and water, and held 21 minutes of silence (for the 21 years of civil war). Overall, it was amazing.

The next morning we packed up and headed home. In Tuscaloosa I took a nap and ate lunch with Lindsey and Alex. After that, I went home. The drive was fantastic, as I played Jimmy Buffet the whole time and sang loudly and often off-key. The weather was beautiful. Once at Jeff's, we goofed off for a bit (Jeff had spent way to much time being mature and serious all weekend- the need to be childish was oozing by the time I arrived, and I must say, I was aching for a bit of silliness myself), then we did a foolish tag team as we worked on projects that should have been done long ago.

I got several huge things dealt with Monday (schoolwise), and I have been much more at ease this week.

Now I'm off to my last class of the semester, excluding two finals next week. Happy Wednesday!

I'm perfectly wrought. Given the circumstances, I'm even a little underwrought!

Well, well, the semester is almost over, and I think I might have done okay this semester. I think.

I hate big projects, and I despise deadlines.

I love my friends, and my family, and Harris and William.

Sunday night Chris hosted a mini Will and Grace marathon, and we had fondu again, and it was pretty great; better than last time, I think. Yay for having experience! Jessica was in town, and other guests included Jonathan, Catlin, Luke, and Adam, not to mention Chris and Jeff. All in all, it was a fun night.

I've been meeting lots of lovely people recently; today I met Cody, a friend of Jonathan's (and Justin's, I was told) and West (who I actually saw yesterday at Brewsters, and I met him there today). Speaking of... I went to Brewsters today and yesterday! Today with the boys mentioned above, and yesterday with my little sister Jessica. Jessica and I also went to Diebert to walk for a bit, and we saw about 10 turtles. All in all, pretty great.

Tonight I'm headed to Tuscaloosa, and I will leave from there with the UA caravan (and my beloved Lindsey!) to Atlanta for the Invisible Children event Displace Me. I'm very very excited to be a part of something so fantastic! Speaking of fantastic, and randomly jumping backwards, Saturday found me in the presence of Lauren, Chris, and Kelly as they made a spontaneous trip to Florence! Sadly, I got off work much later than anticipated, so they were forced to wander the streets of downtown without a guide for a bit, but from what I understand they had a good time, and they made me flower jewelry in the process, so everybody wins! The next day we went to Diebert to picnic and flight some exciting kites (GI Joe and Madam Butterfly); we were joined by O'Brian and Jeff. It was beautiful.

I'm still stressed about school, but things are finally winding down. I don't know when I'll find time to do all the things I must do, but I will find the time, because that's what you do, isn't it? You make things work.

Be loud, let your colors show!

...try to keep the madness low...

This is the kind of comedy where no one's laughing, 'cause it's hard to.

Did I ever tell you about the time Shareese, O'Brian, and I explored a terribly old graveyard in Birmingham? If I forgot to mention it before, let me say this: it was beautiful and spontaneous and novel-worthy.

And have I mentioned, lately, that I have the loveliest friends? I'm sure I've said so before, but I wanted to remind you.

Last night Graham, Jonathan, Jeff, and I (and Chris joined us later) ate at Legends, over on Seminary Street), and I must say, it was quite nice. I really enjoyed it. Walking out the door we saw Catlin and Chase and their cohorts, and later we ran into Grace Alverson and I met several new people (Adam (who works at Subway and is just about the prettiest thing I ever did see), Breeanna (who didn't talk much), and Aaron (who I would love to put in a snow globe and carry around to show off to my friends- he's just that cute)). We walked to the corner, and I felt like a pimp (and why shouldn't I, with such pretty young men around me?). It was crowded and exciting and I love Florence. I really do.

Later Jeff and I watched Cursed, which we both thought was a new one for us, but it turned out that the movie was familiar to both of us. Anyway, it was pretty good for a cheesy horrorish flick. The other not we watched Hellbent, by the by, and it was surprisingly good. This morning we made steak and eggs with sauteed green peppers and onions, and I must say, it was fantastic. Then we watched Underworld, then Jeff went to work and I went to have my car washed by Chris and his Old Navy Crew, who were raising money for muscular dystrophy, then I grabbed some Subway and went to eat with Jeff, then I visited with my momma for a bit, then I picked up the boys, then we went to Spring Park, where Jetson met us for a bit, then we came here, then then became now, and now the boys are asleep and I'm updating you, dear Journal!

Anyone wanna play tonight? [Hint: The Answer is Me]

Really, I'm tired tired, but I just feel so embraced right now. I mean, things are really stressful, what with school and whatnot, and leaving and all the stuff going on, but then I look at how many good good people are all around me, and things are okay, ya know?

Anyway, if I buy a 47 person bed, will you all join me in a big cuddle?

Suppose I never ever saw you? Suppose we never fell in love?

I've been meaning to post for a bit about personality profiles. I've taken the test before, and I am an ENFP- the Inspirer:

Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.

Now, I may be way off with these, but I've tried to guess most of your personality types based on the descriptions. Lance helped me with some, and I've already talked to a couple of you about them... anyway, if you get the chance, take the test and let me know if I was close (or just read the descriptions)! Also, it'd be neat even if I'm just close ... like, Lindsey and I guessed Graham to be an ESFJ, and he took the test and he's an ISFJ... we were close... just pegged him as more extraverted... interesting. Some of you I know a lot better than others, and I'm more confident in my guesses for you; not so much on some others, but I tried to peg you anway. Some of you I don't know well enough to really guess, but I'm still interested... If I'm wrong about the ones I tried, I'll edit this so that it's accurate... just let me know!

Dad and Jeff are ENTP - the Visionary:
Creative, resourceful, and intellectually quick. Good at a broad range of things. Enjoy debating issues, and may be into "one-up-manship". They get very excited about new ideas and projects, but may neglect the more routine aspects of life. Generally outspoken and assertive. They enjoy people and are stimulating company. Excellent ability to understand concepts and apply logic to find solutions.

Mom, Meaghan, and Britni are ISTJ - the Duty-Fulfiller:
Serious and quiet, interested in security and peaceful living. Extremely thorough, responsible, and dependable. Well-developed powers of concentration. Usually interested in supporting and promoting traditions and establishments. Well-organized and hard working, they work steadily towards identified goals. They can usually accomplish any task once they have set their mind to it.

Jennifer is an ESTJ- the Guardian:
Practical, traditional, and organized. Likely to be athletic. Not interested in theory or abstraction unless they see the practical application. Have clear visions of the way things should be. Loyal and hard-working. Like to be in charge. Exceptionally capable in organizing and running activities. "Good citizens" who value security and peaceful living.

Lindsey INFJ - the Protector
Quietly forceful, original, and sensitive. Tend to stick to things until they are done. Extremely intuitive about people, and concerned for their feelings. Well-developed value systems which they strictly adhere to. Well-respected for their perserverence in doing the right thing. Likely to be individualistic, rather than leading or following.

Graham and O'Brian are ISFJ - the Nurturer
Quiet, kind, and conscientious. Can be depended on to follow through. Usually puts the needs of others above their own needs. Stable and practical, they value security and traditions. Well-developed sense of space and function. Rich inner world of observations about people. Extremely perceptive of other's feelings. Interested in serving others.

Meagan and Mark are ESFP - the Performer
People-oriented and fun-loving, they make things more fun for others by their enjoyment. Living for the moment, they love new experiences. They dislike theory and impersonal analysis. Interested in serving others. Likely to be the center of attention in social situations. Well-developed common sense and practical ability.

Tyler and Jessica are ESTP - the Doer
Friendly, adaptable, action-oriented. "Doers" who are focused on immediate results. Living in the here-and-now, they're risk-takers who live fast-paced lifestyles. Impatient with long explanations. Extremely loyal to their peers, but not usually respectful of laws and rules if they get in the way of getting things done. Great people skills.

Lance is an INFP - the Idealist
Quiet, reflective, and idealistic. Interested in serving humanity. Well-developed value system, which they strive to live in accordance with. Extremely loyal. Adaptable and laid-back unless a strongly-held value is threatened. Usually talented writers. Mentally quick, and able to see possibilities. Interested in understanding and helping people.

Thomas and Karen are INTJ - the Scientist
Independent, original, analytical, and determined. Have an exceptional ability to turn theories into solid plans of action. Highly value knowledge, competence, and structure. Driven to derive meaning from their visions. Long-range thinkers. Have very high standards for their performance, and the performance of others. Natural leaders, but will follow if they trust existing leaders.

Shareese and Jess are ENFJ - the Giver
Popular and sensitive, with outstanding people skills. Externally focused, with real concern for how others think and feel. Usually dislike being alone. They see everything from the human angle, and dislike impersonal analysis. Very effective at managing people issues, and leading group discussions. Interested in serving others, and probably place the needs of others over their own needs.

T.J. is an ISFP - the Artist
Quiet, serious, sensitive and kind. Do not like conflict, and not likely to do things which may generate conflict. Loyal and faithful. Extremely well-developed senses, and aesthetic appreciation for beauty. Not interested in leading or controlling others. Flexible and open-minded. Likely to be original and creative. Enjoy the present moment.

Jonathan is an ESFJ - the Caregiver
Warm-hearted, popular, and conscientious. Tend to put the needs of others over their own needs. Feel strong sense of responsibility and duty. Value traditions and security. Interested in serving others. Need positive reinforcement to feel good about themselves. Well-developed sense of space and function.

But I... I'll kiss your head...

Well well, I had a bitchy and morose blog all planned out, but alas, a few simple words of praise from a rather intimdating teacher, and I'm much too happy to really sink in my teeth and do that sad blog justice.

As it is, I'm going to tell you some of the goings on inside me, but from views of contemplation as opposed to depression.

I keep bouncing from cloud to cloud, some thunderous and scary and others light and lovely and each one more intense than the last. I feel like I'm not doing what I need to do to make people happy, and I'm not sure if I don't know how to fix things or I'm just not willing to know how to fix things, and either one is rather diappointing. I'm digging into several relationships right now, some new and others not new, but not yet fully explored, I think, and I want to know these best friends better. In doing that, though, I believe I'm pushing people out. It's not a tossed out the back door kind of push, but a slow pressure, like when you're slowly shoved to the back of a crowd in a concert and you're not sure how you ended up so far from the stage. I think I'm being pushed a little my self, actually, and I'm not sure why.

I'm scared about everything right now. I'm worried about this summer, I'm worried about next semester, I'm worried about graduating, I'm worried about my friends graduating, I'm worried about... lots. I'm terrified to leave William and Harris, but I do know it's the right thing to do for me now, and there's some (though not much) comfort in that. I'm incredibly anxious about working at Camp this summer, but I'm also feeling rather selfish, and I'm not sure that I'm ready to open my heart to anyone else when I can't even hang on to the people I've got.

I'm also elated about this summer, of course, and excited about next semester and graduation. Don't you even for a second think that I am not a happy girl, Reader, because I am I am I am. I have so much! And I don't mean I have so much like "I counted my blessings and I realize I have more than I deserve" (which is true, but I did not employ list making in this evaluation). Not a day goes past that I don't have a moment or two (or three or four, some days) where I feel like my heart will finally give a loud burp of contentment and give out, having exhausted itself with all the loving and being loved. I'm even in a good mood now, but I need these things out of me lest they continue to fester. Fester. What an ugly word.

Le sigh.

There's a lot to tell you about since my last entry, but I need to go cash a check and then head to the gym for a bit. I will tell you that Lynn Butler told me after class today that I was one of her stars, that I had really shown this semester and impressed her. She said I had a wonderful grasp of language and an good eye for observation. I beamed. I still smile to think about it. I'll have a portolio soon. How exciting is that?

But right now, everything is turning blue.

And right now, the sun is trying to kill the moon.

I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky!

So much so much so much! It's one of those days, folks... my heart may very well explode if I don't take the proper precautions.

I need an hour to babble about the goings on of the couple weeks. Alas, I don't have an hour. I have 40 minutes, and several of those will be spent walking to class, and another 10 will be needed to review the reading for Lit. Crit.

I just publicized an entry I started before we left (a couple Saturdays ago), so feel free to scroll down and give it a read (and a comment, if you feel the spirit move you to do so). I'm going to make a quick list of high points of things I keep meaning to tell you and haven't had the chance to talk about... perhaps later I will elaborate, but for now I need this out of my buzzing system:

~ Jeff and I saw a deer at Wildwood last week
~ we got to Fort Walton at 7:30ish Sunday morning
~ we were both surprised by the reflection of the truck in a store window
~ Jessica made us a wonderful breakfast
~ bridal Expo (fun dresses, a gay boy, and I'm Too Sexy)
~ Panama City with the foreign kids
~ drinking on the beach under the bridge (kites, burying Jessica, shotgunning beer)
~ Team America, Closer, Nine Dead Gay Guys, Office Space
~ sunrise
~ arriving in Cullman at 2ish Thursday morning (using a map, not mapquest, and with only one short detour!)
~ 300 again with Jeff's parents
~ lunch in Birmingham with Lance, Britni, Tyler, Britney, Ricky, Josh, Justin, David, Jess
~ coffee with Catlin and Meagan (and Rasberry Beret)
~ coffee with Jeff, Eric, Catlin, O'Brian (after dinner at CiCi's)
~ coffee with Graham and Jeff and Mom
~ spent yesterday with Shareese (watched Shortbus) after eating with her and Meaghan at Outback (O'Brian working)
~ dinner at the house
~ sitting in the floor of the men's clothing department at Wal*mart for over half an hour at 11ish last night talking to Lindsey

I have the best friends and family in the world.

Spring Break was amazing. My life is amazing. YOU, reader, are amazing.

To the left, to the left...

What the hell is up with this song? I love it. I don't love the new Shakira and Beyonce song. Or the video. You'd think with two people as sexy and talented as Beyonce and Shakira, they could come up with something better.

Harris and William now know several words to Regina Spektor's Fidelity, and Harris actually sings to a couple parts of it now without my encouraging. It just may be the cutest thing he's ever done, and Harris is one adorable little boy. He and William had their birthday party today; things went swimmingly. All the kids there were well-behaved and adorable, and Lacey came with Asa which made the party a lot more fun for me- I'm really glad you two came, and I love you more every time I see you!

Afterwards we (me and the boys) played in the park, and they were both in really good spirits, and we had a great time. We left around 6:30 and went to Jeff's apartment for half an hour to pick up some laundry (but really to make him feel loved), then grabbed some dirty clothes from my place and came back here. They ate a small supper with no fuss and then went to bed easy-peasy at 8. I've been washing clothes here, and I just hope that I get this next load out before Rosario and Stephen get home; they said they'd be here around 10, so that's what I'm counting on. Keep your fingers crossed!

This morning Jeff and I cleaned my car! It's amazing! It actually wasn't as disasterous as I had feared (Jeff, you may not believe that, but it's true.) We even vacuumed her out and ran her through the wash. Then I headed to Sheffield and Dad offered to let us take the truck, which is very exciting (I was really worried about my engine making it to the beach).

Oh, yes- the beach. That's right folks, I'm headed that way! Jeff and I are leaving tonight, I think. We actually have several options. We can sleep a few hours then leave at threeish (I'm in favor of this, while Jeff is completley opposed), drive all the way through when I get off work in half an hour, drive to Cullman and sleep some, then drive the rest (Jeff seems to like this option, while it is my least favorite), or (and this is a recently discovered avenue) we could stop in Birmingham to sleep and then travel the rest of the way. Decisions, decisions!

I'ma have to buy a new bathing suit once we get there. And some new clothes. I'm excited about that. Outlet malls! Hurray! I just remember that those would be there! I'm a little more excited about shopping now than I was.

Above all else, I'm ready to see Jessica and the ocean (in that order... I guess... ;)
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An update! I totally didn't finish this entry, because the Tomlinsons got home... here it is, now, in full technicolor! Or... you know, just a public entry now.

We counted every black car passing your house.

Well well, I've spent an hour trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my prospectus. I'm a bit lost and very intimidated by this process, not to mention uninterested, which may have dire consequences. I think I'm going to apply Nina Baym's essay Melodramas of Beset Manhood to Henry James's The Art of Fiction. I guess we'll see how that goes. I definitely would like to do something dealing with women in literature, as this has become my primary interest, followed closely by black women in literature. I would definitely like to learn more about both.

Yesterday I spent all morning at Diebert Park with the boys; it was fantastic and beautiful. When we arrived we were the only ones there, which was strange and nice. Later two school buses pulled up, vomiting children all over our silent playground. It wasn't too bad, though, because the boys ended up playing with several of the kids (who must have been in 3rd grade or so). It was William's 4th birthday... man. They've grown so much since I started working for them. And I have to leave them soon. Sad day.

Let's not dwell now, though. After I got off, Jeff and I went back to the park to walk for a bit, then he and his friend Stephanie went running while I played on the swings. About the time they finished, Catlin and Chase came to chat, and then we all scattered for the day.

I have a million things to do today, like the laundry I was suppose to do every day this week (I did finally do a load last night), cleaning out my car and taking it to a mechanic, and straightening my apartment. I also plan to see Death By Chocolate at the Zodiac Theatre tonight at 8ish, if any of you would like to come.

Tomorrow is the party for William and Harris at the Children's Museum; it should be fun! Lacey and Asa are coming, woohoo! I'm going to babysit later that evening for them, and then I'm headed to Fort Walton to visit Jessica! I do believe Jeff and I are going together, though I guess he still hasn't confirmed that. Today and tomorrow are going to be high stress; that's a fact. Sunday, though... Sunday I'm going to spend sleeping on the beach.

And the world is so much meaner when your heart is hard...

Good morrow, cuz?

Is the day so young?

But new struck cuz.

Ah, me, sad hours seem long!

I mean to type "good morrow;" the rest just popped out. How are you this lovely Sunday, Reader?

I hope your week went well. Alls good here. The week was nice, nothing exceptionally stressful. We watched The Color Purple in Women in Lit., and I cried. It was good. I worked 13 hours Thursday. I worked again Friday night, then headed to Jeff and Chris's, where Catlin and Chase came to hang out for a bit. Yesterday Jensen called, and we decided to go geocaching (Jensen, T.J., Graham, Jeff, and I). I hadn't been in a long time, and I want to go again soon- it was great. We did have some cop action, but he was friendly. We were also told to leave by hotel management at one place. Oh my! Later Jeff and I came back to Tuscumbia to eat at Fiesta Mexicana with Jetson and Leigh Ann (their mom), then we went back to their apartment to visit for a while before going home. It was an St. Patrick's Day!

Last night Jeff and I watched Playing by Heart. I didn't realize how much I loved that movie until I wanted to see it again and I got all giddy talking about it. It was wonderful, and Jeff liked it, and you would like it, too, Reader, I'm sure of it! It's got an amazing cast, too.

Today today today... laundry! I must do laundry. And I have a midterm due tomorrow. It's a 500 word essay. No biggie. I have to write an essay with the topic "Springtime in the South." I'm thinking about turning the piece I'm doing about the picnic into this piece. Every time I think of the title, a little voice inside me sings "Hitler in Springtime." Teehee.

It's just something that we do.

Sunday was amazing. Amazing! If one day I am asked to assemble one week of perfect days out of my life, Sunday, March 11, will be one of them. I'm going to write a paper for my nature writing class on it tonight, so I will leave the descriptions off for now. Just know that it was fun, and I am madly in love with more people than I ever thought possible.

Today was a good day, too. It's Graham's birthday, woohoo! Big 19... only three months and three days until we're all legal! We'll be 18, 19, 20, 21, then my birthday ten days later and we're back on track until next year. Hummmmm....

Allow me to backtrack. Last night was nice. I didn't really feel like hanging out with the fam, but I eventually wandered over to that side of the river, and I'm glad I did. It was fairly boring at first (everyone in a separate room watching separate televisions or on separate computers), but later Lindsey suggest we take a night walk, so we (Lindsey, Graham, and I) headed out! We were approached by our baying hounds before we had gone far, so we carried them back (heavy and stinky though they were) and then continued onwards, this time with Bach following. We didn't quite walk a mile because Lindsey was worried about the cat. I decided to watch Pete's Dragon, but instead Lindsey and I talked until 2ish. We ate really late and looked at some of Grampa's sermons, which was fun and interesting; we also checked out some old pictures of the house and talked about the land and how much we love this property and whatnot.

Now, today... this morning we all had breakfast together (yes, all 6 of us!) after singing to dear Graham, then I brought breakfast to Jeff at the pool before heading into work 45 minutes late. I took the boys to McFarland Park, where we spent a couple hours playing with the styrofoam airplane I got this weekend and running around with kites and playing on the playground. A group home came to eat lunch while we were there, and it was all I could do not to go plop down at the their table. I am missing some Special Session right now. Later we drove to the picnic area and just walked around under the pine trees. It was so pleasant. We then headed to UNA to see the lions, which was really fun until Leo decided to mount Una, making me feel incredibly awkward at I made a mad dash to get the boys away from the glass (not so much because it would offend them, but because I didn't want to answer William's questions and I had my own self-imposed awkwardness to deal with). We then went home and lunched and napped and listen to Fidelity by Regina Spektor

I'm in Collier now; Jeff and I just went swimming at the UNA pool (joined by Aubrey and Chris Jordan part of the time). It was nice. I'm off to Books-a-Million now. Should be fun! Ciao!

Sweeeeeet cuppin' cakes.

Howdy, kids! How goes it here in cyberland? Alls well, I hope.

I have had very strange dreams as of late. Last night I dreamt Lance, Graham, Dad, and I were fishing and swimming by the pier, and Lance was complaining about how one time when he and Graham were sleeping in the boat, it was freezing in the morning, and I was like "Uh, when did you go camping with my family?" Apparently, they went camping together a lot, though.

Night before last I dreamed Dad was making a movie of his life. It was the weirdest thing ever. All these people kept showing up looking just like my family members and family friends. It was... disconcerting. Mostly it was just Dad and his group. He was playing himself, as was Mom. Mom had gone out to get a Black Lab to play Nyx, and we told her she had to get a Dalmatian, then, because we had Perdy a lot longer than Onyx (so she did that). I remember the Uncle Keith double looking startlingly like Uncle Keith. There was also a guy playing Scott, and he had this ridiculous wig on, and I remember thinking that the actor wanted to make a joke out of the production, which is probably what Scott would do, which is pretty funny. The most disconcerting character was Uncle Wade. The guy looked like him, kinda, but he was to skinny and he had a cocky walk. Uncle Wade was definitely not cocky, and that bothered me the most. My dad? Cocky. Uncle Keith? Cocky as hell.

You know, Uncle Wade may be the only Mullen I've ever met who wasn't cocky, now that I think about it. Except maybe Grampa. Anyway, I remember it really bothered me and I wanted them to find another actor, but there wasn't time. I don't remember much else about the dream, except that there was a lot of guitar playing.

Sooo... school's going well. Work's going well. I'm still overly stressed, though I think it's for no reason (or little reason). Umm, Jeff may just be the cutest thing in the world. He's sleeping now, and I would like to put him in my pocket and carry him around to look at when I get sad.

The Quiet World, by Jeffrey McDaniel.

A Voice Post

I didn't care; I just bummed from my friends.

Hey, remember that time when we stayed up all night talking and then watched the sunrise?

Hey, remember that time we went to football games on Friday nights?

Hey, remember that time when we danced on that rock?

And remember that time when we danced in the rain?

Hey, remember that time when you came to visit me?  I was so happy I thought I would burst.

Hey, remember that time when I visited you?

Hey, remember that time when we slept in a church in Decatur?

Hey, remember that time when we flew kites and laid on felt blankets?

Hey, remember that time when we sat in the grass and drank rum?

Hey, remember that time when we sat in the dorms and drank vodka?

Hey, remember that time when we sat on the beach and drank gin?

Hey, remember that time when we holed up in my room and watched sitcoms all afternoon?

Hey, remember that time they shot fireworks just for us?

Hey, remember that time when we smoked cigarettes in the woods by my house?

Hey, remember that time when we kissed?

Hey, remember that time when we stayed up all night in the computer lab doing nothing?

Hey, remember that time when we lived together?

Hey, remember that time when we ate ice cream in the caf until they kicked us out?

And remember later when we waded in the fountain even though it was freezing?  Later I carried you piggy-back up the stairs.

Hey, remember that other time we raced around it?

Hey, remember that time when we first talked?

Hey, remember that other time when we didn't?

Hey, remember that time when we made French toast?

Hey, remember that time when we got out picture taken on the dog-shaped couch?

Hey, remember that time you sang outside of Jack's?  It was beautiful.

Hey, remember that time when we road in the back of the truck in our wedding formals?

Hey, remember that time when we spent all day on the river?

Hey, remember that time when we watched The Never-ending Story while it rained outside?

Hey, remember that time when walked along stopped traffic and up into the woods?

Hey, remember that time when we fell asleep together?  Remember all those times?

Hey, remember that time when we cracked up during Mass?

Hey, remember that time when we got lost?

Hey, remember that time when we went to the thrift store?

Hey, remember that time when we did plays together?

Hey, remember that time when we ran through the sprinklers?

Hey, remember when I found that little snake?  And that dog?  And those kittens?

Hey, remember that time when we spent all summer painting my house green and yellow?

Hey, remember that concert?  It was amazing.

Hey, remember that surprise birthday party?  And remember those other surprises and those other birthdays?

Hey, remember that time when we spent all day in the movie theatre?

Hey, remember that time when we swam in the hotel pool all night?

Hey, do you remember prom?  That was fun.

Hey, remember that time when we were supposed to study but we talked to each other instead?

Hey, remember that time when we sat next to each other in class?

Hey, remember that poem you read me?

Hey, remember that poem I read you?

Hey, remember that time when we decided we were going to walk after school?  We only did it once.

Hey, remember that time when we sang in the car?

Hey, remember that time when ate in the park?

Hey, remember that time when I skinned my knees and you couldn't stop laughing?

Remember that time when we were lonely, but at least we were lonely together?

Hey, remember that time when we walked to the gas station?

Hey, remember that time we lived together?

Hey, remember that time we used to eat dinner and watch Will and Grace every night?

Hey, remember that voice mail you left me?  I appreciated that.

Hey, remember that time we cooked dinner for all our friends?

Hey, remember that time we went to that protest?

Hey, remember that time we cried on the balcony together?

Hey, remember that time when spent three hours at Arby's just goofing off?

Hey, remember that poem you read me?

And remember that poem I read you?

Hey, remember that time when I called you in a panic?  I felt a lot better afterwards.

Hey, remember that time when we rolled down the hill?

Hey, remember that time when we all dressed up for Halloween?

Hey, remember that time when we were obsessed with BNL?

Hey, remember that time we showered together?

Hey, remember that time when you played your guitar?  I fell in love with you a little.

Hey, remember that time when went to the club?

Do you remember how that song made me cry?

Hey, remember that time when I lost my cell phone?  And the time I lost my keys?  And the time I lost my bookbag?

Hey, remember that time we jumped the fence?

Hey remember that time...

Goddammit.

Girl, tonight we're gonna make love. You know how I know, baby?

'Cause it's Wednesday.

Cause that's all that you'll get, so you'll have to accept you are here, then you're gone...

Meagan's team lost this morning, so I'm caught sniffling here in the library at school. While high school sports have not been a major concern of mine in some years, Meagan is and always will be at the top of my list, and I didn't get to see her last game. I was fairly confident they'd be playing in the finals Friday, and I made plans to be there. I wish I could have seen her play today. I know she was amazing.

I have more to say, but I'm a bit distraught and I don't have much time before my next class. Thank you so so much for reading my paper, guys. I really didn't expect any feedback because I know it can be a pain to turn a quick update into a mini-English class, but really appreciate your comments. I've made a few adjustments, and I feel a lot more confident after your wonderful words. Careful, though, because I'm going to start counting on you. :) I have another paper here, so if you would, pretty please? Feel free to make whatever critics you want; I might not follow your advice, mind you, but it never hurts to revist a passage. Even if you don't know what exactly it is, or if it's just a paragraph that read funny or a word that tripped you up, let me know. I'm a lot more self-conscious about this particular piece because it's my first attempt at a segmented essay, and I'm not sure if I did it well. Anyway, let me know, if you get the chance!

I'm off to gather sources for a 10 page paper on the effect of black female authors on the American women's movement!

You're going to turn around very slowly and you're going to touch the floor for my viewing pleasure.

And now, for your viewing pleasure: a paper!

Now, I know that most of you will not read the paper, much less click the link, and that's very okay, because I know you're at least as busy as I. However, if you do happen to have a free moment and would like to offer any constructive criticism, I'd appreciate it. I've only re-read it once, so I'm sure it needs a lot of cleaning up, but I'll do that soon enough. I'll probably post another paper or two today as well. I would like you to read them, but that's the secondary purpose of these posts- mostly, I would like to have these at my fingertips when I need them. I didn't make much effort to save my papers from high school, and that may be for the best in some cases, but some of those essays weren't half bad, and I think I could greatly improve them now.

Samson. What a song. What a brilliant beautiful sad sweet song! *swoon*

A new title I've come to apply to myself: alliteration advocate. That's taken from a friend from AGS loooong ago; I stumbled upon her page the other day, and there it was, calling my name. I hope you, too, will don the title and wear it proudly.

I wasted a lot of time stressing about Literary Criticism this weekend, and it turns out I lead the discussion Wednesday (not today, as I though). We read an essay by Viktor Schlovsky today; it was quite interesting, though a bit redundant, as many of the essayists we've read seem to be. My favorite part of the whole essay? The last lines: "But I will not discuss rhythm in more detail since I intend to write a book about it." How fantastic! I want to right essays that end in such confident assertions. Anyway, it amused me.

We were strangers in the night, up to the moment when we said our first hello...

Home again, home again! as my grandmother says. Updates, updates, for those who are curious (so... for me, in a few months when I re-read this, I suppose). It took us about 10 hours to get to San Destin Thursday; not only did we take the longer route, but we traveled with a 3 year old, so we had to make bathroom stops rather frequently. The trip was nice; the ocean was beautiful. The highlight of the trip was, of course, seeing Jessica Friday. We got to spend some time alone together whilst the boys napped and Rosario was with them; we also hit the pools and hot tubs. Later we played in the sand with the kids; I've got a lovely little piece I started writing on the way home about that. Also noteworthy: talking to Lance while he watched us on the beach through a webcam. Creepy, right? It's not as creepy as it sounds, because you can't actually tell who people are (or so says the Lance... he's probably just trying to look less stalkerish, though).

Yesterday I started my period early, which is odd; I'm almost always irregular, but I'm rarely early. It was pretty crappy, I'll tell you that much. I got birth control last month, but I didn't start taking it yet. I should start next Sunday. I don't like it, though... I'm not sure why. It's hard to explain, and I don't have the energy or desire to do so tonight. Any(I think perhaps one day I will go through this journal and conclude that I talked much to much about menstruation. For that, I apologize.)

The drive home took only 7 hours, as we took a shorter route and put diapers on William. Once home I ate pizza with their fam, then headed to my apartment to read a bit of Blue Shoe by Ann Lamont, then came here, home, to visit with my grandma and do some homework. (This weekend I finished reading For Love of Evil by Piers Anthony; I'd read it before, but it's been a while. I really want to revisist the whole Incarnations of Immortality series, I wanted to read this one because it's a slight refresher on the rest of the series, and now I can read the seventh book, which I've not done yet.) I have oodles of work to do, including several papers for Nature Writing and some exciting analysis for Lit.Crit. Fun? You bet.

I'm officially hired for Camp McDowell this summer. It's almost as intimidating as it is exciting. I'm really looking forward to meeting and loving new people, but I'm also rather nervous about it, because I'm not sure I have room for that right now. I do, of course, because you can't really plan for this sort of thing, and the worries beforehand are truly worthless, bute I'm worried never the less. I'm worried about a lot of things. I've been having nightmares lately about all the junk I've been suppressing, especially about my uncle and fam and about Harris and William and about school.

I'm going to play the Sims work on my papers now. I leave you with this:

It made me happy. So, thanks.

I hear in my mind all these voices; I hear in my mind all these words...

Oh, Regina. You are my newest love.

When did we last speak? Saturday? It's been much to long, dear, and I've missed you.

For nature writing I'm doing a piece on sunsets; it's an uber-descriptive contrast and compare of the sunset in Anna Maria and the sunset on Park Blvd. I'm toying with the idea of a segmented piece, but that makes me nervous. For one, I might have to read it outloud, and segmented pieces aren't as good read aloud. For another, I've never done one, and I would really not like to screw up a good grade with experimentation. I don't want my piece to be boring, though. I'll be talking about the birds you're likely to see and hear in either place, as well as the trees, the insects, and the overall landscape. I'm sure either description on it's own would be interesting, but I'm afraid if I describe one and then launch into a similar structure about the second, readers might be turned off the the second sunset. Decisions, decisions. Either way, I'm going to post it on here when I'm finished, for my own records.

Tomorrow morning I leave for Destin with the Tomlinsons. I'm not all that excited, sadly, though I'm super-pumped about seeing Jessica, however briefly. I don't wanna miss class Friday, though, and I want to visit my with my grandma (who got in town last night), and I want to see Meagan play ball, and I want to chill for a bit. My apologies; the bad energy I'm putting out right now brings to mind comic images of smelly characters on Saturday morning cartoons with odor emanating from them in squiggly black lines. This weekend will be fantastic, I will get to do a lot of reading and writing, and I will spend some good quality time with William and Harris.

Speaking of! After you put Harris in his crib, he says "bye" to let you know he's ready to go to sleep. Tonight, he said "bye," and I said "good night," and he said "sleep tight!" Now, if that wasn't the cutest thing I ever heard in my life...

Last night I made peppers and Italian sausage, and it turned out pretty well, although it was too greasy (I forgot to get rice, which would have helped soak that up and make it better). I also made a lasagna to freeze, and I think/hope/pray it's going to be alright, and maybe even good. Using leftovers from the lasagna, I made improvised cannelloni (in case you were wondering, the difference between manicotti and cannelloni is the stuffing; the former most often has cheese, while the latter usuaslly has cheese and meat- I just looked this up).

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I started this post last night, and here it is Thursday morning, so my apologies for the in-congruency. I was just working on this essay, but things are going less than stellar, and I've decided to abandon the thing for now. I'm about to go to Wal-mart and see what kind of cheap-o dresses they have, because I don't have any nice casual things for this weather, and I need them for Florida. Blah!

I'm tired and cranky this morning. Lucky for everyone else, you're not here to bear witness to this grumpy mess.

Or perhaps it's not so lucky... I can never stay ill around any of you, you know.