You ain't gotta downgrade; you can get what I get...

"You Can Have Whatever You Like"

I love this song.

The end.

Dark and lonely is the ride, the devil always by my side...

Today was such a good day!

Jeff woke me up crazy early to have breakfast... maybe that wasn't so amusing at the time, but it's funny in retrospect, right? Right. He left for work and I went back to sleep until O'Brian called to wake me around 10:30. He called four times, but instead of waking me up I just kept incorporating the theme song to the Fresh Prince-- his ring tone-- into my dreams. I was chasing the beagles, and it just kept playing over and over again on the radio. Finally I really did wake up, let him in, and began the day.

We got about halfway through an episode of The L Word before the power went off. It was pretty windy, but the rain had mostly stopped by this point. I texted Jonathan, and soon we were at his place snacking on Nutella and finishing our show. We left after a bit and came back to the apartment, where we watched a few more episodes. Jeff came home for lunch and I made spinach and mushroom alfredo pasta. Delicious!

Jeff left again and O'Biz and I went decided to go to Diebert and enjoy what had become a beautiful day! We attempted to fly a kite, with limited success. By limited, I mean the string sliced my finger open and the actual kite spent more time nose-deep in the ground than in the sky. Failing at kite flying, we walked for maybe twenty minutes and then laid in the grass and read some.

Home again, and we watched the finale episode of the season we'd been following. The series was sad today, but the weather was nice and the company excellent. Jeff had returned home, and after O'Brian left we watched the last two episodes of Avatar, a Nickelodeon series we started watching like two years ago. It was pretty great, and a nice break from the intensity of The L Word.

Other things of note: Vagina Monologues are coming up, I hung out with Christian the other day, and Jonathan and I got two a.m. Tourway a couple nights ago.

The move is coming up soon, and I'm scared out of my wits and more excited than I've been in a long time!!!

You are beautiful and peaceful this way...

TO LEON WORTH

I ask the forebearance of the children who may
read this book for dedicating it to a grown-up.
My first and most serious reason is that he
is the best friend I have in the world.
My second reason is that this grown-up
understand everything, even books about children.
And my third reason is that he lives in France
where is is hungry and cold.
He needs cheering up.
If all these reasons are not enough,
I will dedicate the book to the little boy
from whom this grown-up grew.
All grown-ups were children once --
although few of them remember it.
And so I correct my dedication:

TO LEON WORTH
WHEN HE WAS A LITTLE BOY

I may not always love you, but long as there are stars above you...

Well well well.

I move in about a month. This past weekend I went to Destin to visit Jessica and Amanda and look at a home, which we have decided to rent! It's in Santa Rosa, and it's a three bedroom in the back of neighborhood. My room has a four poster antique bed, which they are going to leave, as well as a desk with shelf space. Jessica has a dresser I can use, which cuts down my moving cost and effort a good bit. I'm excited and anxious. It's definitely getting time for a move, and I'm going to be in warmer climates and by the beach, and living with Jessica, and having pets again! I'm worried about finding work that is fulfilling, about money, about being so far from my parents and sisters and brother and friends!

Let's see... I'm not directing the Vagina Monologues, which is a pretty major bummer. It's something I've been talking about for months now, and most of you knew about it. Anyway, turns out that since I graduated I can't help direct. I think the play will still be fine, of course, but it's hard to wrap my head around being in a different role. I also think I'm a better director than I am at being on stage, and I have more experience with that (even it's still not much). The cast is fantastic, of course. I have seriously considered quitting and just going on with the move right this moment, but I don't want to give up that time with my friends here.

When I was in Destin, we (me, Jessica, Amanda, and Chelsea) went to a Civil War re-enactment. We had a very nice picnic and then watched the skirmish. It was very cool and very loud. We saw a woman making a cathedral quilt; I'm now attempting to make one myself, with limited success. I'll show you pictures when it's finished. I'll be honest, it may end up being a cathedral pillow instead.

I have my phone back, but the screen is messing up. It did this some when I was using Meagan phone, so I think it might be a problem with my sim card and not the actual phone. I can still get calls and dial out (usually), but sometimes I can't read texts or actually see to figure out who I'm calling if I don't know the number by heart.

I've done about a million loads of laundry this week, though my room still looks disasterous. It's a big part of packing, though, so hurray for being somewhat productive!

Well, good God damn and other such phrases...

I've been going through some severe musical addictions recently.

First, Dan le Sac and Scroobius Pip. They are a British hip-hop duo, I suppose. I think Pip used to be a slam poet. This is the first song I heard; these two are my other favorites.

Next is was Ingrid Michaelson, who is featured on several commercials. The jingle that ran on the telly is still the best, although I love her other stuff, too.

My current love is Kate Nash, who has escaped my computer and has blasted through my car speakers. She is bitter and beautiful.

Keep it loose, keep it tight,

Your eyes are beating rhythms way faster than the speeding bullet that took the life of your radio.

abut test that thing whee you'e spposed tbe able to putthings in anyorer, and yo can till rea , Iuss hts if teare t least rupd ithin he se wordhu? refodong ts venew ting here eyh I tupejust es on any oorer it was o. Like, me te to ocme trace isead Grace. Bzzare, in'it? tsifotnG uosdnan ymttnd dli tumoc ygnitrewh ylolihi si xiF h ,matweogaa yh'ateg lleW ?mehtdsud ourrew owoH

Come January, we're frozen inside...

Room for Squares is such a good album. I've been re-visiting it, and it still fits me like a charm, despite the holiday casseroles and gallons of eggnog. Somethings never change.

Most things do, though. Consider yourself warned.

You know, sometimes I forget why I feel things, even when I don't forget why I feel them. I forgot why I loved Christmas until I was right smack dab in the middle of it, then it hit me like a ton of bricks, or a ton of pine needles and wrapping paper, and my heart almost burst with love. I spent New Year's Eve with my family, of course. We got Mom a new kitten; his name is Moz (short for Mozart). Potato soup, I love thee with the fiery heat of a thousand suns.

We had an early brunch at my grandmother's house Christmas morning, and I worked that afternoon. I hung out with the cousins the next day. It's amazing how cool they've all turned out to be. I wish they all were my next door neighbors. I spent one night out there hanging out and playing tiddlywinks with Nancy. The next day I took Morgan and David to see Marley and Me. It was good, although you should be prepared to cry at the end (which I was). The next morning Morgan and I had brunch together, which was really special and fun.

I went to Birmingham at some point. Maybe that was late on the 26th? I went down late after playing some Scatagories with Lindsey, Graham, Meagan, Moonie, and Katie. I arrived at one-ish, and when to bed shortly after, cuddled up with Jessica and Lance.

You should check your rage at the door. A little jealousy is to be expected, but that is excessive. I'm sure they will sleep with you, too, if you ask nicely.

J-money left early early that morning, and Lance, Jeff, and I went to the Browns to have breakfast with Lance's parents and Ms. Britni Marks. It was so good to see Lance's mom again; I haven't seen in her in a year or more. After that Lance and I followed Britni to her house, where we saw Mark for a hot minute before he had to leave; we also visited with Grammar and Britni's mother. We were going to go to the park, but clouds came a'rolling in while we were inside, so we decided to play in the backyard instead (with Odin and Lucky). Then Lance and I went back to his apartment, I think, and then I went to meet Jeff and James and Chris at Panera Bread.

Sitting at a table with three hot boys can be very intimidating; I felt like I was on one of those MTV dating shows. Weird. Later we were joined by Alice, Ricky, and Justin. It was a nice meal. Jeff and I left for Darren's; I stopped in to say hello and then was off again, back to Florence.

Oh, and this is when I lost my phone. By the by, it has been found again. It was in my boot in Lance's apartment. I just got it back and it is charging right this very minute.

Time time time...

Oh!

New Year's Eve. I was pretty wishy-washy about my plans. I thought I had to work on the 31st, but turns out I was scheduled for the first. I had a really wonderful dinner with my parents and Graham, and then I intended to go to Birmingham. I stopped at my apartment to grab my license (which I couldn't even find at the time, although I have found it since), locked the door, and promptly shut my keys in the trunk of my car. Unable to get into my car or apartment, and still not having a phone, I knocked upon my neighbor's door, borrowed a phone, and watched twenty minutes of the latest Superman movie while Graham brought a key.

Graham said I should probably just stay home, which I did. It was a very subdued but nice way to bring in the New Year. Meagan was an hour later in her celebration; I think this is the first time one of us has been in a different time zone at midnight. Strange. Mom crashed early, so Dad and Graham and I toasted her and called Meg and Lindsey and shot the rifle and blitzed the Boulevard with firecrackers galore.

I worked New Year's Day, and one of my clients went a little crazy. It was a stressful day, but I handled things pretty well. Hopefully it was not a harbinger of 2009.

Yesterday-- which I am sorely tempted to call today, seeing as I am still awake-- was a bit lazy, but in a nice way. I slept late, then met Jeff for lunch at Wok and Roll. We came home and played on googlemaps, later heading to my parents' house for dinner. We mostly talked to Mom and played with Abby and Moz. Now it is so late that it's early, and I'm going to catch some Z's before work this afternoon. I'll be there 2-10 tonight and I work a double tomorrow (6am-10pm). I'll be in touch.

The whole wide world feels like a shrine built to the worker bees...

Things of note, occurring since Friday evening:

I graduated with a degree in English and a minor in Women's Studies. Lance and O'Brian and Jeff came to my graduation, as did my parents, Meagan, Graham, and Moonie. Afterward we stopped by the Florence Poetry Slam and then headed to Park Blvd. for pizza and cokes and some surprise champagne. We stood around the fire under the full moon and Graham shot some bottle rockets and Jonathan stopped by for a bit. I got to sleep between Lance and Jeff, and it was so nice and cozy and safe and warm.

Saturday morning Lance and Jeff and I had breakfast before Lance and I headed to my parents' to get some of my laundry and then to meet Lindsey and Alex in Birmingham. From there we drove up to WInchester, Virginia, where we got a hotel, got some sleep, and enjoyed a really nice simple breakfast. We drove to New Jersey, which, as far as states go, ranks fairly low (based on our short time there). We ate dinner with a family friend of Alex's family, who then took us to the train station.

We took the train into New York City and met Josh!!!

So far, I have been pushed out of the way of a garbage truck who was not paying attention by a construction worker with a very exciting accent, I have bought fruit and bread at the Union Square market, I have watched a video at the Church of Scientology, I have skated at Central Park, I have played in the snow, I have eaten some delicious hot dogs, I have had coffee at various digs, I have ridding the subway a lot, I have been happy.

I wish you were here. :)

Say goodnight and go...

I am headed to NYC.

I will be back in a week for the Special Session Christmas party.

I will see you then.

This video made me really really really happy.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Happy ever after in the market place, Desmond lets the children lend a hand...

A couple weekends ago I went to Fall Fling at Camp. It was fifth and sixth graders, and it wasn't entirely planned. Remind me next time not to show a slight interest in an event unless I'm ready to commit fully to participating. ;) It was worth it, though. That's generally my least favorite age group, but my girls were great and I'd had half of my cabin in my summer camp cabin or in small group. Anything run by Margaret Warren is worth going to as well; I don't even know her well, but she is really quirky and fun. Most of the volunteers were the people I like hanging out with most, anyway, and it was nice to see Michael. The weather was dreadful and I had to leave early because of work. I was a little too uptight and less fun than I can be; thank you, school work.

Anyway, just wanted to make mention of that. Then the next weekend, if I remember correctly, was the wedding! Wow oh wow. Weddings at Camp McDowell should happen more often. Anne and Blake tied the knot, and it was a privilege to be there. Sometimes you find out your old classmates and friends are engaged, and the thought you have is "Hmm, wonder how long that will last?" Not so with Anne and Blake; they're obviously perfect for each other. I don't know any other couples where that is so evident. So, I roomed with Jen the first night and the Lindsey and Lauren came the next night. Friday we spent some time at the campfire and playing some flipcups and beer pong and Captain Dickhead, and I had the most fun I've had in a loooong time. It's so nice to be surrounded by people you love in a place you love celebrating the sacrament of love.

You know, I could go on and on about that weekend, but I think that's all I really want to say.

Let's see... at some point--maybe the Thursday before the wedding?--Jeff and I went to Birmingham to have a ridiculous irrational dinner. Jeff got off work and we hit the road, meeting our people at Moe's. The timing was wonderful; James was there, and then us, and Lance and Tyler, and Darren, and Jess. Afterwards Jeff and I went to the mall with Darren to help pack up his store, and then it was home again, and up bright and early the next morning for school and work!

Right now, I'm at my friend Jen's new house; she's at a job interview, so I am entertaining myself here, with you, Reader. I hope all is more than well.

Listen to the music of the moment; people dance and sing...

You know, I've got so so much to tell you, every live long day. I want to tell you what I think about the songs I'm listening to, the stories I'm reading, the people I meet.

I want to make a will, a living will that tells each of you just exactly how important you are to me, and why, and how we met. I remember how we met, you know.

I want to be infinite, to live in each of you, to be in your every thought and breath, to be godlike, omipotent, powerful and quiet.

What is my perfect crime?

I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier. It’s priceless. As I’m taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business. She’s Tiffany. I say ‘no’. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don’t trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son and he’s the chief of police. – This is where the story gets interesting. – I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadéro. She’s been waiting for me all these years. She’s never taken another lover. I don’t care. I don’t show up. I go to Berlin. That’s where I stash the chandelier.

It's been too long since somebody whispered...

Oh dear, I've certainly slacked. Now I have two weekends to record, and how will I ever do my memories justice if I constantly compress them? Despite the dropped details, I will do my best to recall the goings-on of my life, both for you, Reader, and for future me.

Laasssst weekend, we totally camped out in my parents backyard. We gathered our assorted friends around the campfire, despite the freezing temperatures and the all-to-close comforts of home. Jeff, Darren, O'Brian and I went to the lake to gather firewood, and while I was gone a surprise showed up at the house! When we got back home, Michael was chasing Landon around the yard and April was inside with baby Eli! It was so great to see the family; aside from facebook stalking the growing boys, I hadn't seen them in forever (and I had never met the baby). We played with bubbles and ran around the yard and whatnots, and Jessica came and my parents hung out and we made fire!

Meaghan came there at the end, right before the Clemmons left; shortly after that T.J. and Katie showed up. Mom made a big pot of chili and a batch of cookies and Meaghan brought apple strudel, which we ate in the kitchen before being chased back outside, where we did the campfire thing (and Jonathan came to play!) Eventually we made s'mores and at some point we took a walk around the Boulevard, singing and shivering the Elephant love medley, then launching a super-secret mission back to the campfire. Eventually we made our pallets and curled up, trying to conserve heat as the temperature dropped. I had scrounged around inside earlier for something entertaining, producing only a frisbee and a deck of sixth grade quiz cards (which we read for at least an hour).

In the early morning hours T.J. and Katie brought mugs of hot chocolate out to warm our numb fingers, and finally we all semi-dozed (me, T.J., Darren), kinda slept (Meaghan, O'Brian, Jessica), went home (Jonathan), stayed awake (Katie), or slept like baby in a cradle (Jeff). We dispersed in the morning, each to his or her bed, showered off the smoke and dirt, and voilà! A new day.

I've spent the morning listening to Mary Chapin Carpenter and other assorted classic country artists. Oh, Jeff and I have internet (obviously), as of yesterday. I think I will save my tales of this past weekend at Camp McDowell for another time. My fingers grow tired and I have class in an hour. Until then...

What are you good at? I said

& she said, Mainly life. I work best with stuff that has a high tolerance for mistakes.

Oh, in five years time I might not know you...

I spent last weekend in Tuscaloosa, and oh, what a weekend it was! I got there Friday evening and met Lindsey and some of her friends, then Graham and I went to shoot pool. We came back and sat around the hookah and played mafia and went to bed, snug as a bug, with Lindsey, Maks, and Botswana.

Saturday morning we waded through the homecoming crowds, visiting different booths of which Lindsey was a part before retiring to her home. Alex and I walked to Publix and he got me lunch at Quik Grill. It was a beautiful day, a walking day. That night Lindsey dressed like Pocahontas and I was Julian of Norwich/ Renaissance Lady. We got to see Graham's frat house (by the way, Graham is a pledge... not to worry, though. It's an academic fraternity, with female members and actual personalities) and meet some of his brothers/sisters. After that we met Boyd and his friend at one of the local pubs, and from there we headed to a crazy party by the railroad tracks. They charged five dollars a cup for cheap beer but had a cooler full of free shrimp and sausage and potatoes and corn. Weird. We retired again to the house for hookah and Pete and Pete. Whoa. Sunday I got to hang out with Ryan; we gathered picnic supplies and then spread our wares on the quad with Maks and Nicole and various other passers-by. Wow, but that was fun. Lindsey came by and I jogged by her bike back to the church to meet the youth group she and Graham lead together. I had dinner with Graham and Austin and various other characters, then did some geography and dilly-dallied a bit more before finally heading home.

On the back I almost hit a deer! I had just been talking to Jessica about that very worry, when I came upon one ambling across the highway. Luckily it had just crossed out of my lane (and hadn't leapt crazy-like). A car appeared immediately in the opposite direction, though. I flashed my lights a bunch; I hope they didn't hit her, either. I listened to the first cd of Stephen Colbert's I Am America (And So Can You) on the way home; on the way down I listened to the first of On the Road by Jack Kerouac and some of Radio Lab, a new show on NPR.

Monday after class and work, Jeff and I went to Birmingham, where we celebrated Darren's birthday! I left the party after a bit to meet Austin and Chris at Oasis where we got to see Michael Goldsmith (yes, THE Michael Goldsmith) play! It was so nice to see all of them. Early the next morning (6:30 early), Jeff and I headed to my voting station, where we waited an hour and some change for me to vote before going home once again-- stopping first at Jeff's station so he could cast his ballot. We made it back in time for class, but I decided to sleep instead. I'd been fighting a cold for the better part of a week, missing things here and there and remaing tired, so I took a day to sleep and drink orange juice and feel better; I still went to Women and Politics that night.

That night I romped around with Jonathan and Megan for a bit, watching the news and the end of some speeches. I will have more to say on the election later, I think. When I was ready to leave, I couldn't find my keys (I was pretty sure they were under Megan, who was asleep on the couch... and they were :-p) so I crashed on the other couch, enjoyed coffee with Megan in the morning, and went to Atkinson's class, where we ate muffins and cupcakes and chatted it up big time.

Today we watched Sling Blade in my Southern Lit. class. I've never seen it before, but I really like it so far. I've got a geography test to work on and I might make some ravioli tonight. Jessica will be in town Saturday, and we are tottttallllly camping out. It's supposed to be insanely cold... I think 33 is the low. The low has been in the forties until Saturday; this seems to be the trend with these Logouts. Jeeeez, that sucks, but mostly, I am so very excited about this weekend!

Here is another poem I wrote. Thoughts?

On my pillow is
your earring,
black and shiny and
plastic,
and I guess if this was
true love
it would be a pearl or
a diamond or
you would still be here.
But it's a plastic earring and
you are not here and
this
is not
true love.

Winter just wasn't my season.

Hey folks.

Here are some things that are good:

Megan and Jonathan and I went to the Bird Tower last weekend and got stranded in the middle of Nowhere, USA. Jonathan painted me with tribal tattoos and sat in the flowers and the music played and the battery died and we did not.

I found pictures from over a year ago, and though I've not shown them to you yet, I have printed some of them off and I've hung them on my wall and I have been refreshed by your presence, even though you are not here.

Tentative plans to move to Destin in February are becoming more solid every day. Scary as it is, Amanda and Jessica will likely be finding the apartment/house without me, but that is okay. Hey, this is going to be fun!

Step Show at UNA-- I wish I had gone before now. I enjoy this type of show very much, and I enjoy my friends very much: Nita, Tammy, O'Brian, Jeff, and newboy Drew. Tourway afterward, trading Megan for Nita and Tammy.

I hit a small cat on the way to the restaurant. This is not a good thing, no matter how I spin it. It makes the list because I need to get it out, because it made me cry, because my friends were so good to me.

Whoa, how about I go to Fall College Conference at Camp McDowell. I've never been before, but I think I would enjoy it. Lindsey says Camp in the fall is her favorite, and I generally like things that are Lindsey's Favorite.

When you have a free moment, I suggest you visit http://www.asofterworld.com/bloody/index.php. It is by the asofterworld people, so you know it's good.

And maybe just go visit asofterworld? Come on, you know you wanna...

This is Grace, over and out.

Love your wife, love your get, keep your word, and if need arises die for what men die for.

At a cave mouth my uncle showed me crinoid stems,
And in limestone skeletons of the fishy form of some creature.
"All once under water," he said, "no saying the millions
Of years." He walked off, the old man still with me. "Grampa,"
I said, "what do you do, things being like this?" "All you can,"
He said, looking off through the treetops, skyward. "Love
Your wife, love your get, keep your word, and
If need arises die for what men die for. There aren't
Many choices.
And remember that truth doesn't always live in the number of voices."

Life is ever changing but I will always have a constant and comfort in your love...

Hey, I just spent some time on stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

Go. Enjoy. Report back to me (O'Brian, I'm talking to you ;).

I'm here at Megan's, chilling with her and Jonathan and Jonathan and Jeff (and Spencer, of course).

I worked tonight.

We're watching Little Monsters, which I did not watch when I was little.

Hey, campout. Saturday, November 8th. In my parents' backyard. Classic.

I'm kinda lonely right now.