you know how dangerous it is to be born with breasts

We just watched a film about sexism in advertising, and I almost started weeping in class. Not crying, not bawling, but weeping... the tears of a dull ache that can't be fixed with a kiss and a band-aid. I know this sounds melodramatic to some of you, but I'm about done being apologetic about my budding passion for women's studies. It's more than a new interest or a temporary hobby. These things are so important, so very real, and they affect everyone.

We saw ad after ad where women were made into objects... literally, objects. They were beer cans and cars. We saw tons with women objectified and sexualized, where they were tied up and gagged, where they covered their mouths and bit their lips. And the women... 100% of the women in advertising represent a body type that describes 5% of our culture. In addition, the women are flawless to the point of obscurity, now more so than ever as computers reshape chins, delete wrinkles, erase necklines, broaden eyes, whiten teeth...

This particular video dealt with their sexualization, but it's more than that... My current least favorite commercial is a LeanCuisine commercial, I believe. It features a line of women discussing the bland dinners they suffered through the night before, expect one lady who details her succulent meal. What gets me about this advertisement, what drives me absolutely mad, is that no one questions why the hell five perfectly fit women are on a diet!!! It didn't occur to me until last week to question it, and I've seen the damn thing a million times!

They are not just eating healthily. To maintain their tiny figures (and the women on these commercials are incredibly thin), they must starve themselves? That's ridiculous!!! If you can't keep a size 2 waist while eating healthy, balanced meals, you are not meant to have a size 2 waist! Now, I'm all for feeling good about yourself and treating your body right, but I think this goes beyond that. Skipping meals or going to the gym five times a week to maintain a figure you weren't born to have is unnatural and unhealthy for both body and mind.

And it starts so young! Which reminds me, I am boycotting Calvin Klein, as the ads we saw today made me vomit in my mouth. More than any other company, this brand sexualizes children. It was disgusting, and I've never felt so gross as when I saw a mostly naked fifteen year old trying to sell jeans. I felt dirty for even seeing the commercial.

Maybe the worse thing for me right now, though, is my inability to separate what I want and what I'm told to want. I've been on and off diets since I was 12 years old, long before anyone, ANYONE, should be dieting. Now, I'm trying to loose some weight. And I don't eat badly!!! I have a diet full of vegetables and fruits and whole grains and protein! I walk around campus and around my neighborhood and the mall! I drink water, lots of water, and I've cut things like corn syrup out of my diet almost completely! So... why do I struggle to shed inches, and squeeze myself into pants a size to small? I don't have an entirely organic meal plan, but I don't eat fast food with any sort of regularity, nor any other product equally unhealthy. I'm taking care of my body.

This probably needs cleaning up, as there is infinitely more to say and plenty more intelligent ways to say it, but I wanted to get this out before I exploded...

Crazy- what are you, then?

Most people associate innocence with naiveté. Conventional wisdom regards it as belonging to children and fools and rookies who lack the sophistication or experience to know the tough truths about life. But the Beauty and Truth Laboratory recognizes a different kind of innocence. It's based on an understanding that the world is always changing, and therefore deserves to be seen fresh every day. This alternative brand of innocence is fueled by an aggressive determination to empty one's imagination of all preconceptions. "Ignorance is not knowing anything and being attracted to the good," wrote Clarissa Pinkola-Estes in Women Who Run With the Wolves. "Innocence is knowing everything and still being attracted to the good."

And the sky opened up with the soil of the sun...

Hello, cyber-friends, and welcome to the much anticipated return of Grace's Random Ramblings. While updates are infrequent and often times incomprehensible, you can always count on complete sentences and accurate punctuation.*

*No representation is made that the quality of blogging services is greater than the quality of blogging services offered elsewhere.

So... we're headed to the Quest tonight, and maybe the Yacht Club (which I have never attended). We just went from having no place to sleep to three offers, which is fantastic and means we won't have to crash someone's pad with just a grin and a guilt trip. Yay!

In other news... I've been spending a lot of time with my Little, and it's been fantastic. We're meeting once a week to work on homework. We might be going to Chuck E. Cheese on Tuesday. I watched her play soccer last weekend, and she did a great job.

I'm applying for jobs around town next week. I'm also going to keep Harris a couple times a week; they're pulling him out of day care. I'm not sure how that's going to work.

The fair is this weekend, but I don't think I'm going. Sad day. Big Spring Jam is next weekend, and I am going to that. I'm very excited. Hmm... apartment shopping is going well, I suppose. We have a list of places, but we haven't toured any yet. On that note, though, we're going to stay where we are until they sell-- you can't beat the rent we're paying.

In closing, I'll be updating this thing much more frequently, starting now.

The people thought that they were just being rewarded...

Guess who is playing house? That's right, yours truly. I've got the boys for five days. It's rather intimidating, but I'm still excited. I took them to school this morning, and I'll pick them up again around 2:30. I have class from 10 to 12 today. I really like both of my classes. In "Intro to Women's Studies," we have a speaker coming today from Rape Response. It should be interesting.

I have a lot I need to do, starting with calling my Little, Jessica. I talked to her some last week, but plans went ary when I had to schedule a doctor's appointment. I'm going to ask her grandmother if I can pick her up every Monday after school and take her to the library, where we can do homework together. Lametastic, right? Maybe not, though. I think I would have thought homework less atrocious if I got to break the routine of it sometimes. We'll see how it goes.

Life is busy busy busy! I still need to find a job before I let myself get to comfortable working for the Tomlinsons again. I need to get my oil changed. I need to find a new apartment. Ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got a little nostalgic about camp last night, and I'm not sure why. Maybe I was dreaming about it in my sporadic sleep. I started missing some of you folks muchly. I was also thinking about how quickly we adjust from situation to situation. Anyway, I'm ready to play sometime soon.

I also have a message from Lindsey on facebook, but I can't check it from here because they've blocked that and myspace. Saaaad day. Oh, I have a reminder for everyone. Check it out. It can't hurt.

Umm, let's see. I spent a fantastic weekend in Florida with Lance and Jeff at dear Jessica's. The drive down wasn't bad, I guess. I slept for a good bit of it as I tried to ward of a stomach bug I had. I think it may have been something I ate. It was decidedly unpleasant. I vomited at this one tiny gas station, and I'm pretty sure the whole store was listening. It was crazy loud. Eww. Once we got there the weather was beautiful and the company pleasant. We saw dolphins up close and went out for sea food once and watched a lot of television. It was great. The drive back was... tiring. We probably should have left earlier. I wish I'd gone back home early Monday morning, but we didn't. I didn't know my sisters would be in town. Blah! We did eat lunch with Jeff's parents, though, and that was nice.

Tuesday Jeff and I went to the lake for a bit, then we met the fam (Mom, Dad, Graham, Aunt Alice, Uncle Jim, and Grandmomma) at Ricatoni's for dinner. It was fantastic. We had a good time, and Jeff and I got lots of leftovers! Yay!

I said, "Do ya speak-a my language?"

Big Spring Jam is Friday, September 28, through Sunday, September 30. Bands I'm super excited about? Foreigner and the Avett Brothers. Other bands I'd like to see: Sawyer Brown, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic, Pat Greene, Los Lonely Boys and the Commodores. I'm not really into Breaking Benjamin, but I know some of you fine folk are, and they'll be there as well! Also, I'm going to St. Thomas that Sunday. I'm gonna call Rosemary and see if I (and whoever wants to come with) can sleep at her house. If for some reason that weekends no good for her, I'm pretty sure someone in Huntsville will let me crash there. Yay for lots of friends!

In the next month or two I'm going to get a Net Flix account. I'm pretty pumped about that. Recently Jeff and I have been plowing steadily through Avatar and Nip/Tuck. Soon I would like to begin The Sopranos (my parents have that) and maybe the O.C. (because Lance demands it).

There are so many people I need to call and see and visit and invite. I miss several people from camp, and I still haven't recconnected with a lot of people here that I'd really like to see. I need to hang out with Jessica, my Little, who I haven't seen in forever, as well as my grandmother, who I miss a lot. Wahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You like to put jelly on ladies?

Meagan left for Birmingham this morning. Man oh man. It is official, I suppose. We're all in college. Crazy! I'm doing the normal nostalgic nosedive into depression, but it's nothing new and nothing serious. I love my family. I love this house.

Tonight I'm going to babysit for the Tomlinsons. I saw them Thursday. They've definitely grown in the last three months! Harris is speaking in full sentences. They were both so wonderful; it was great to see Rosario, too, although she was sick, and I hope she's feeling better now. Next month I'll be staying with them five days in a row. I'll be taking them to day care and everything... I get to play house! And at a gorgeous home, too... it's amazing what the desolate little mountain lot has become.

This semester I have Intro to Women's Studies, The Bible as Literature, Geography II, and Personality. I'm really excited about my schedule, aside from the Geography, but even it should be okay.

All of us are crazy good in one way or another.

I must get back into the habit of updating this thing.

So. So so so.

Classes start tomorrow! I have a potential schedule, but I can't register until my advisor gets back in town (tomorrow) and releases my hold. Classes should be fun and interesting. I can't graduate by December. Also, I was just told yesterday that I have to have a minor. While I was interested in obtaining one in Women's Studies anyway, I'm a little floored that I've met with three or more teachers about my degree and have never been told this bit of information. Jeez.

Jeff and I are renting/house sitting? at a little place on Gordon Avenue in Sheffield. It's precious. We did fondu there last week with Meaghan, Moony, Graham, O'Brian, and Jessica. Jessica? Yes, Jessica! She was in town for a while.

Time to backtrack and give a rundown of my life since the last post:

~ Camp ended. The last session was fun and tiring and right on time. I had a groovy cabin.
~ I road with Ryan to Birmingham, where I was dropped off at Tyler and Brittney's apartment.
~ Tyler, Lance, Brittney, Rachel, Bailey, Jennifer, Thomas, and I went to eat at P.F. Chang's
~ In celebration of Tyler's 21st, we headed to Loco's.
~ Daniel came, too, along with Lauren Banks, Miller and Jack (who I hadn't met before)
~ We had a rip-roaring good time, then went back to Tyler's to celebrate some more
~ Jeff got me and we went back home to look at the house mentioned above.
~ Meaghan, O'Brian, and I went to Fort Walton to visit Jessica.
~ We spent two different days on the beach, and saw some huge jelly fish.
~ We went to Howl at the Moon, one of Jessica's hang-out spots.
~ O'Brian and Meaghan left early Monday morning; Jessica and I left shortly after.
~ J-Money and I stayed the night in Birmingham with Lance, Tyler, and Brittney.

Since being home, Jessica, Jeff, Jonathan, Mooney, Meagan, Melissa, and I went bowling, and aftwards Jessica and Jonathan came to the house to watch The Labrynth. Funtimes. Jessica and I also hung out a lot this week; she went home yesterday.

Now Jeff and I are at the UNA library working on his resume/playing on facebook. This afternoon we're going to move my bed to the house. Yay! Yesterday we moved some other randomness (and a lot of clothes) in. I'm about to do some serious cleaning and ditching of useless knickknacks.

Tomorrow we're going to Loui Loui's, at the invitation of Louise. I'm sure there's more to record, but for now, I'm going to do a crossword. Hurrah!

When the sun shines, we'll shine together...

Here it comes... the last session of the summer. Despite the waves of stomach turning nostalgia that hit every time I move from any temporary home, I'm excited about being back in Sheffield soon.

The plan for now... pre-camp starts at 3 today. We'll have campers tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday morning. They leave Sunday afternoon, and we spend the pm hours cleaning and whatnot, and I assume hanging out around camp. There's talk of staying Monday night as well, but if we don't I'll probably head to Birmingham for Tyler's birthday!

I leave for Fort Walton again on the 9th with Mdawg and my main man O'Brian Gunn (haven't spent time with them in ages, looking forward to the seven hour drive, believe it or not!), then we get back on the 12th or so, and I move into Jeff's apartment (Chris is moving to Birmingham!). Man, so much, so much. Back to camp for the last time as an employee this summer... love to all of you.

And Max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all.

Life as of late has been quite the roller coaster. Last session was stressful for me, and I got super irritated at several people, but other parts were great. The last night, I took my cabin stargazing. We went up the hill and spread out a few blankets, and we read the last two chapters of Hope for the Flowers, which I've read to every cabin I've had thus far. They really loved it. Then we all lay with our heads in the middle and talked about a lot of different things, from Napoleon Dynamite to alcoholism. It was intense. Around 11 we headed back towards the cabin, but before we could get there Carpenter, the cabin of Mr. Wil Heflin, jumped out of the woods and scared the bejesus out of my seven campers (I originally had 9, but two had to leave early, which was a major bummer... also, Lauren Maggart was co-leader of the cabin this past session, as she was my fabulous CIT). Almost to bed when Ed's Cabin, lead by Kathryn, jumped out of the dark to frightene the girls again (they were laying in wait for Carol Smith, but alas, CS were late getting back). Once in our cabin, we prepared for bed before yet another scare as John Michael led Advent in a rousing game of "bang on the windows and scare the crap out of Barnwell." It was a fabulous night.

Also noteworthy of last session: At one of the staff meetings, the lovely male counselors decided to have a cue word (it happened to be "Amen") on which they would remove their clothing, so at the end of the opening prayer, a handful of counselors were suddenly half-naked as the rest of us proceeded to gaze from face to face making sure we weren't the sole outsiders on this inside joke. With our boss, two priests, and all the bewildered people in the room, it made for one of the most hilarious things I've ever been privileged to witness.

Before Junior High II (the session I described above), the staff went to the beach house of the Kendrick family in Fort Morgan for our two day break!!! It was amazing, despite early feelings of unease on my part. On the way down, Graham, Lindsey, and I listened to The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon. It was absolutely incredible. I highly reccommend it to anyone, especially though who wish a better understanding of autism, specifially in regard to the way they process information and their feelings on being touched. Anyway, we walked down to the water where most of the folks were hanging out already; I was wearing a glow bracelet which Ryan took with his teeth, bursting the plastic and dribbling a glowing green galaxy on the wet sand under our feet. Chris and Worth played guitar on and off and on again throughout out our breif stay, giving a specific memory to the song "At the Beach." Lindsey, Graham, and I spent the morning making spaghetti and meatballs and sausage for everyone, as well as key lime pie and jello! It was so fun to cook with them, and I love the satisfied feeling of feeding a hungry crowd.

Speaking of the beach- I just got back from Fort Walton! The siblings and I left camp around 12:30 (I think) Monday and returned home, where we visited with the parents and sister and did various errands and such. Soon, Emily (who traveled with us, hurray!) and Lindsey left for Birmingham and then the lakehouse where the staff decided to get together this break (sans me, this time), and soon afterward Jeff came over and he and I began our journey down to Birmingham as well, where we met Lance and Britni at Tyler and Britney's apartment. We moved our stuff to Lance's vehicle and got on our way to Jessica's! Five-ish hours later we found ourselves on her doorstep, tired but otherwise jolly, and happy, of course, to be there. We awoke early the next morning and enjoyed a lovely french toast breakfast before making a be-line for the shore, where we idled away most of the day, loosening our tongues and baking in the sun and rolling around in the cool cool ocean. Eventually we packed up and headed home, stopping first to enjoy dinner at a lovely local restaurant and meandering about the neat little shopping center it called home. We also stopped at Baskin Robin's, where Britni re-discovered bubble gum ice cream (with chiclets!), a long lost part of her childhood. Back at Jessica's, we popped the cork on a bottle of champagne, put Closer on the telly, and promptly fell asleep and the devilish hour of 11.

Yesterday we lounged about the apartment for most of the morning, cursing Books-a-Million for calling Jessica into work and bemoaning our various and uncomfortable sunburns before hitting the sands again (lathered in SPF 35, of course). From the get-go it was a nature kind of day; I caught a tiny fish in my cupped hands with 10 minutes of arriving. Later Jeff and I observed various schools of fish, from a small group looking for protection in the shade of their dear savior Jeff to a larger commune attempting (we believe) to eat said smaller group. My feet were also bombarded by little sand colored fish later in the day, and we witnessed several rather largish jelly fish, including one who felt inclined to hug my leg from the back of my knee to the top of my ankle. I confess, that particular brush with sea life I could have done without. We left that night a bit before nine, caravanning this time with Tyler, who had been with his family in Destin for the week.

This break was what I needed, I think. I'm quite refreshed, please and thank you, and looking forward to Elementary II. I rather like this age group (entering 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, I believe), and I'm excited about being back at camp. The summer is quickly coming to a close. I know this is a long update, but I suppose it's rather more for my fading memory than for your viewing pleasure, though if you do happen to scan these paragraphs, I hope you find it quite informative and at least mildly entertaining. Love!

I am crying in the bathroom.

Hello, folks.

How's life? Going well, I hope.

Things are good here. We've had many sessions since we last talked, including Special Session, which is by far the best (but who didn't expect that?). I just love that staff so much. As they were arriving I felt like the Grinch when his heart expands, increasing a size with every wonderful person to show up. I do wish I'd been less tired, because I think I missed out on a lot of staff bonding time, but I like that we're close enough that it's okay. Dewayne Handley is my life. Britni coming made the whole week 1234 times better than it would otherwise have been. Lance, Mark, and Jeff dropping made for a fantastic dance, and did the engagement of the beautiful beautiful (inside and out) Anne and Blake; I don't think I've ever had so much confidence in a life-long partnership as I do in the two of them.

Other things... staph! That's right, lots of the staff had staph, although I believe the worst of it is over. Apparently, it's not contagious, despite spreading to 4 different people (a coincidence, we were assured). Crazy.

Umm... my birthday! Amazing. The entire camp woke me up by yelling "good morning, Grace" outside my cabin door at 7ish in the morning. I don't think I've had a better wake up call in my entire life. I got to wear a fun crown all day (which I still wear from time to time), and Meagan came for a surprise visit around rest time! After doing compline with my family (siblings and Katie (Morgan was at camp that week, too, but she went on the overnight)), I got back to my cabin to find a Lance and a Britni and a Tyler and a Cooper! Granted, I had to immediately send them home because we can't have surprise visitors during the session, but they brought me a chocolate cake and made the day perfect.

Oh! I got a new phone! I don't really like it, but I'm sure I will... anyway, I don't have any of your numbers, so call me and leave me a voicemail so I can get in contact with you at some point, kthanks. Also, a letter? Anyone? O'Brian sent me a letter, and it was amazing, and I felt super loved. I'll be writing you back soooon, love. My address:

105 Delong Road
Nauvoo, Alabama 35578

Last week Nancy was at camp and in my cabin; it was great spending time with her. I've also gotten to see Aunt Laura a couple times this summer, which is nice, because I miss her. Grandmomma picked Nancy up Thursday after some mishaps, and brought with her Morgan, so yay for seeing them, as well!

God knows there's so much more to tell you, Reader. Camp is just full of mind-blowing experiences, all of which I need to record. For now, I'm tired, and ready for breakfast, and then church with the fam. I may update again before I leave in a few hours, but I make no promises.

Untrue. I make you this promise:

You have changed my life by your presence in mine, and I love you for that.

"Love is being stupid together," said French poet Paul Valéry.

To celebrate your ramble through the most wildly independent phase of your astrological cycle, I'm offering you three inspirational quotes. The first is from poet e.e. cummings: "To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle that any human being can fight." Your second shot of motivation is from Clarissa Pinkola Estes: "If you have ever been called defiant, incorrigible, forward, cunning, insurgent, unruly, or rebellious, you're on the right track. If you have never been called these things, there is yet time." Lastly, here's a Hindu proverb: "There is nothing noble in being superior to some other person. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self."

The angels sang when you were born.

Soooo... I'm feeling pretty homesick right now. I miss you guys a lot. Jessica was in town last week, and I couldn't see her, and I hate hate hate that. I haven't spent real quality time, like no schedule, just us time, with Lance probably all year. I got to see Jeff a week ago or so, which I think made me miss him that much more. I miss O'Brian and Jonathan a lot, too, not to mention all my other wonderful friends (and I'm not going to try and list you all).

So much to tell you! But no time. Ever. I have a sheet of memory cues in my cabin, but I'll need to take time to actually read each one and let the memories sink back in before I type it all out.

Last night was fun. I'm finally clicking with a lot of the staff. Lee left last week; we was one of the first people I got close to. That blows. The staff is cool as shit, though. No lie. We just ended Junior High I; before that was Senior Camp (which BLEW MY MIND), and before that Elemtary I. Next is Sophomore Camp, and Katie and Morgan will be here! Hurray!

Some random things... we played Laser Tag the other day, and I was the top scorer in my game! Woohoo!

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be. Love always, Charlie

Don't say it's over, 'cause that's the worst news I could hear...

Well, guys, I've finished my first week at camp. It was all training; some was fun, some was boring. I'm CPR certified now. My cabin is Barnwell. I'm next door to Lindsey, who is in Carol Smith. I'm home for the moment. Things are muddled. There's so much going on right now. My friends at BSC graduate tonight. It's bittersweet. I'm so so proud of them for all they've done. I really stumbled upon a great group of folks up there. Lance, Britni, Mark, Jennifer, David, Joe... not to mention Melissa, who graduated a semester ago. There are others who I don't even know well that I'm thinking about... Mattie and Marcus and their crew. We're not great friends, but it was comforting to know that group was around and about on the Birmingham-Southern campus. Anyway, I just wish I was there. I love you guys.

Meagan graduated from Deshler High School last night. The ceremony was long and the speaker talked about American Idol a lot, which was pretty blah for those of us who don't watch it. I tuned out a bunch. Meagan looked beautiful. I'm really proud of my family, too. Mom had a lovely get together afterward. The food and the company were both pleasant.

The stars at Camp McDowell are brilliant. Brilliant. We went on a nature hike last week with Big Dave, and he was super interesting; I really wish I could have retained all the amazing things he talked about. He made fire. It was amazing. Also, I saw a scarlet tanager last week. Yay! We did some incredible team building exercises. We had a pasture party, and I played frisbee. I love conquering insecurities, and playing frisbee was one of them. Silly, perhaps, but a private battle nonetheless. We did the climbing wall. It was intense. I'm gonna have to top that thing by the end of the summer.

Jeff is in Pensecola with Chris and Ricky and Josh and various other sundry characters. I hope they're having a blast. Britni's coming to Special Session this summer, and I'm more excited about that than anything else this summer, which is saying a lot.

The staff partied in Tuscaloosa last week. It was fun. I really love Wil Heflin. A lot. I'm terrifyingly happy to be working with him and my sister and brother all summer. I'm scattered right now. Perhaps on the edge of a spaz attack. I miss you guys. Love!

How to Love an ENFP

• Appreciate my creativity, curiosity, and uniqueness.
• Tell me how much I mean to you and be patient with my need to process how I feel privately before sharing it with you.
• Re-establish harmony quickly.
• Support my need to try new experiences and maintain my many friendships.
• Try not force decisions too quickly, or bug me about being messy.
• Above all - encourage me to keep growing, changing, and experimenting with life.

So... I thought that was rather interesting. I have talked about most of these with some of you at some point or another. I might post some other things I find later... I also have much to tell you. I'm in such an odd odd mood right now. I'm at the Tomlinsons. The boys are watching Toy Story. I need to clean the kitchen, and they're about to go to bed.

The parking lot had an element of danger.

Well well well, what an exciting week it has been! That is to say, a few very exciting things have happened, surrounded by a calm normality that seems almost out of place. First, some exciting news:

I did really well this semester! Okay, not really well compared to, say, all of you, but really well considering how much effort I usually put into college courses... or any study, for that matter. Anyway, I found out today I got a C in Literary Composition, which was, in fact, a difficult class, as well as the only class I've been worried about. I have an A in Freshman Composition (as well I should, even considering the five total minutes of work I put into that class), and a B in Nature Writing. I'm pretty sure I'll have an A or B in Images of Women in Literature; I don't see how I'd get a C in there, but even if I did, I don't much care, because it's not a D or F.

I can't register for classes next semester because there's a financial hold, and advisor hold, and a transcript hold.

Meagan signs with BSC tomorrow... I really hope things work out for her. I'm nervous and excited. It'd be a great kinduv full circle thing if she got to finish school there, but I would hate for her to have to pull out after a few semesters, or to not enjoy herself once she got there. It is a very very white school.

OOOhhh, and here's the most exciting thing this week: BNL!!! I got to spend the concert with Lance, Britni, and Mark, and it was AMAZING! They were so gooood! My third semester of college is defined by them and their music, and it was great to see them and share it with there of my best friends. Man, you guys, I love you so much.

As to the actual concert... there was much crowd surfing, which was VERY annoying... as you may or may not know, crowd surfing should be restricted to indoor venues where audience members are packed like sardines. Not only were we outside, but our particular area wasn't horribly cramped, so said surfers inevitably found themselves falling about our heads. Irritating the first time, frustrating the fourth or fifth, fucking ridiculous the 15th. Of course, it makes a good story, and I'm sure we'll have fun being happily bitter together about it in the future. I did my best to make as many people fall near me as possible; Mark tried to take the shoes of the surfers, and succeeded once, although th guy took his shoe back before collapsing on Lance's head; Lance lost his sunglasses but retrievedthem almost unscathed thanks to the group efforts of those in our immediate area and many cell phone lights; Britni and I both suffered elbows to the head.

In other news... Jeff and I have watched the first three episodes of the Hellsing series this week. I've really enjoyed it, although I think it's good that they release them every few months, because I like it better when all the effects and gory stuff are still exciting and I'm not used to them. The second episode was my favorite; I think I was a little out of it when we watched the third, though. We also watched Batman Begins last night, and I made a broccoli and onion quiche, which was very delicious.

Monday night I went to Margarita Mondays with Jeff and O'Brian and Amandine and Louise and J.J. ... and oh goodness, let's see if I can remember the rest of the people (most of which I'd met once before at the beach or never at all)... umm... there was Hannu, Uche, Jennifer (who I never actually met), Leoni (who I also didn't talk to, but who seemed very fun and exciting, and also the boy beside her, who I don't remember), and Ali. I think (and I may be very wrong) that is everyone I met. Anyway, it was very exciting, and I wish I'd met some of these students sooner. The night, overall, was very fun, and I have some pictures I must put up soon.

School is done, but I still have a great many things to get done. I need to become CPR certified. I need to rent a storage unit. I need to move out of my apartment. I need to mail off my camp stuff. I need to email Britni a Special Session form. I need to not go crazy.

I'm gonna miss all of my friends so much this summer. Funny thing, that- most of the people here I've known less than a year. How about that. O'Brian and T.J. I've know for years, of course, and there's Jonathan, and Lacey, and Terri, but the rest of my good friends have moved away or I met in Birmingham. There's a lot of new people I'll miss, though (and I was going to name them, but I'm afraid I'll leave someone out). I have amazing friends everywhere, and I'm so excited to about the ones I'm going to make this summer. Still, I'm gonna miss you guys...

In closing, my horoscope: The counsel I'm about to offer is not given lightly. If you choose to heed it, it could wreak discomfort and disorder, at least initially. And you'll have to pump yourself up with more courage than you're used to feeling. Still, I'm convinced it's the right thing for you to hear; I believe that any breakdown it might engender will ultimately lead to a breakthrough. So here's the advice, courtesy of Franz Kafka: "Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly."

Oh, little journal, how often I neglect thee...

I keep putting off the day to day accounts of my being because I want to take the time to blow you away, Reader. I want to do a post that's inprirational and empowering and flooded with all the things boiling inside me right about this past weekend. I don't have time for that, though, not now, and so I put off writing down the facts, so one day when I do have the time to churn out a tear-worthy essay, I won't remember the things I want to remember.

Anyway, here they are- some facts, that is...

I worked until 10ish Friday night and then went to Jeff's to sleep for a bit. I woke at 4:30ish and went to the parents' house to get Graham's car, which I then drove to Tuscaloosa. I got to watch the sunrise on the road (it seems I've done that a lot over the past year), and I listened to NPR the whole way. I got to Lindsey's dorm room at 7:30, where I changed and then headed (with her and Genivieve) to meet the rest of the group and load the van and cars with cardboard and crackers and water. We left at 8:30, maybe, and drove to the Civil Rights Park in Birmingham.

Even in broad day light, that place is sketchy as hell. I wonder what the people honored in this place would think of their legacy now? That's a topic for another day...

We found a Nathan, which was VERY exciting, as well as Terri, who is doing a piece on rural poverty and suburban poverty (if I remember correctly), but being a journalist, she came to talk to our group! It was a pleasant surprise. We stopped there to decorate the vehicles; we were quite hippied up by the time we left for Atlanta.

Actually, we went to Woodstock, where we drove to an empty field and unloaded everything, registered, and began to build our cardboard villiage. It was really incredible,,, when we got there things were all painted with Invisible Children logos and whatnot, and everyone was so very excited to be together and representing a fantastic organization. I got to talk to some of Lindsey's friends more than I have before, which was great, because they're pretty wonderful people. I spent the majority of my time with Ryan and Stephanie, though I also talked a lot to Genivieve and Kristen (and Lindsey, of course!). Ryan and I constructed a lovely little cardboard home and pretended to play house; I must say, I was sad to leave our humble abode.

Not too terribly sad, mind you- it was rather full of spiders and the heat didn't work.

We spent a fair amount of time being recorded for the video they plan to show before the senate, and then had a short break before returning to see our speaker, a Ugandan minister who has been displaced for the entirity of the war. We also watched videos, had our crackers and water, and held 21 minutes of silence (for the 21 years of civil war). Overall, it was amazing.

The next morning we packed up and headed home. In Tuscaloosa I took a nap and ate lunch with Lindsey and Alex. After that, I went home. The drive was fantastic, as I played Jimmy Buffet the whole time and sang loudly and often off-key. The weather was beautiful. Once at Jeff's, we goofed off for a bit (Jeff had spent way to much time being mature and serious all weekend- the need to be childish was oozing by the time I arrived, and I must say, I was aching for a bit of silliness myself), then we did a foolish tag team as we worked on projects that should have been done long ago.

I got several huge things dealt with Monday (schoolwise), and I have been much more at ease this week.

Now I'm off to my last class of the semester, excluding two finals next week. Happy Wednesday!

I'm perfectly wrought. Given the circumstances, I'm even a little underwrought!

Well, well, the semester is almost over, and I think I might have done okay this semester. I think.

I hate big projects, and I despise deadlines.

I love my friends, and my family, and Harris and William.

Sunday night Chris hosted a mini Will and Grace marathon, and we had fondu again, and it was pretty great; better than last time, I think. Yay for having experience! Jessica was in town, and other guests included Jonathan, Catlin, Luke, and Adam, not to mention Chris and Jeff. All in all, it was a fun night.

I've been meeting lots of lovely people recently; today I met Cody, a friend of Jonathan's (and Justin's, I was told) and West (who I actually saw yesterday at Brewsters, and I met him there today). Speaking of... I went to Brewsters today and yesterday! Today with the boys mentioned above, and yesterday with my little sister Jessica. Jessica and I also went to Diebert to walk for a bit, and we saw about 10 turtles. All in all, pretty great.

Tonight I'm headed to Tuscaloosa, and I will leave from there with the UA caravan (and my beloved Lindsey!) to Atlanta for the Invisible Children event Displace Me. I'm very very excited to be a part of something so fantastic! Speaking of fantastic, and randomly jumping backwards, Saturday found me in the presence of Lauren, Chris, and Kelly as they made a spontaneous trip to Florence! Sadly, I got off work much later than anticipated, so they were forced to wander the streets of downtown without a guide for a bit, but from what I understand they had a good time, and they made me flower jewelry in the process, so everybody wins! The next day we went to Diebert to picnic and flight some exciting kites (GI Joe and Madam Butterfly); we were joined by O'Brian and Jeff. It was beautiful.

I'm still stressed about school, but things are finally winding down. I don't know when I'll find time to do all the things I must do, but I will find the time, because that's what you do, isn't it? You make things work.

Be loud, let your colors show!

...try to keep the madness low...

This is the kind of comedy where no one's laughing, 'cause it's hard to.

Did I ever tell you about the time Shareese, O'Brian, and I explored a terribly old graveyard in Birmingham? If I forgot to mention it before, let me say this: it was beautiful and spontaneous and novel-worthy.

And have I mentioned, lately, that I have the loveliest friends? I'm sure I've said so before, but I wanted to remind you.

Last night Graham, Jonathan, Jeff, and I (and Chris joined us later) ate at Legends, over on Seminary Street), and I must say, it was quite nice. I really enjoyed it. Walking out the door we saw Catlin and Chase and their cohorts, and later we ran into Grace Alverson and I met several new people (Adam (who works at Subway and is just about the prettiest thing I ever did see), Breeanna (who didn't talk much), and Aaron (who I would love to put in a snow globe and carry around to show off to my friends- he's just that cute)). We walked to the corner, and I felt like a pimp (and why shouldn't I, with such pretty young men around me?). It was crowded and exciting and I love Florence. I really do.

Later Jeff and I watched Cursed, which we both thought was a new one for us, but it turned out that the movie was familiar to both of us. Anyway, it was pretty good for a cheesy horrorish flick. The other not we watched Hellbent, by the by, and it was surprisingly good. This morning we made steak and eggs with sauteed green peppers and onions, and I must say, it was fantastic. Then we watched Underworld, then Jeff went to work and I went to have my car washed by Chris and his Old Navy Crew, who were raising money for muscular dystrophy, then I grabbed some Subway and went to eat with Jeff, then I visited with my momma for a bit, then I picked up the boys, then we went to Spring Park, where Jetson met us for a bit, then we came here, then then became now, and now the boys are asleep and I'm updating you, dear Journal!

Anyone wanna play tonight? [Hint: The Answer is Me]

Really, I'm tired tired, but I just feel so embraced right now. I mean, things are really stressful, what with school and whatnot, and leaving and all the stuff going on, but then I look at how many good good people are all around me, and things are okay, ya know?

Anyway, if I buy a 47 person bed, will you all join me in a big cuddle?

Suppose I never ever saw you? Suppose we never fell in love?

I've been meaning to post for a bit about personality profiles. I've taken the test before, and I am an ENFP- the Inspirer:

Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.

Now, I may be way off with these, but I've tried to guess most of your personality types based on the descriptions. Lance helped me with some, and I've already talked to a couple of you about them... anyway, if you get the chance, take the test and let me know if I was close (or just read the descriptions)! Also, it'd be neat even if I'm just close ... like, Lindsey and I guessed Graham to be an ESFJ, and he took the test and he's an ISFJ... we were close... just pegged him as more extraverted... interesting. Some of you I know a lot better than others, and I'm more confident in my guesses for you; not so much on some others, but I tried to peg you anway. Some of you I don't know well enough to really guess, but I'm still interested... If I'm wrong about the ones I tried, I'll edit this so that it's accurate... just let me know!

Dad and Jeff are ENTP - the Visionary:
Creative, resourceful, and intellectually quick. Good at a broad range of things. Enjoy debating issues, and may be into "one-up-manship". They get very excited about new ideas and projects, but may neglect the more routine aspects of life. Generally outspoken and assertive. They enjoy people and are stimulating company. Excellent ability to understand concepts and apply logic to find solutions.

Mom, Meaghan, and Britni are ISTJ - the Duty-Fulfiller:
Serious and quiet, interested in security and peaceful living. Extremely thorough, responsible, and dependable. Well-developed powers of concentration. Usually interested in supporting and promoting traditions and establishments. Well-organized and hard working, they work steadily towards identified goals. They can usually accomplish any task once they have set their mind to it.

Jennifer is an ESTJ- the Guardian:
Practical, traditional, and organized. Likely to be athletic. Not interested in theory or abstraction unless they see the practical application. Have clear visions of the way things should be. Loyal and hard-working. Like to be in charge. Exceptionally capable in organizing and running activities. "Good citizens" who value security and peaceful living.

Lindsey INFJ - the Protector
Quietly forceful, original, and sensitive. Tend to stick to things until they are done. Extremely intuitive about people, and concerned for their feelings. Well-developed value systems which they strictly adhere to. Well-respected for their perserverence in doing the right thing. Likely to be individualistic, rather than leading or following.

Graham and O'Brian are ISFJ - the Nurturer
Quiet, kind, and conscientious. Can be depended on to follow through. Usually puts the needs of others above their own needs. Stable and practical, they value security and traditions. Well-developed sense of space and function. Rich inner world of observations about people. Extremely perceptive of other's feelings. Interested in serving others.

Meagan and Mark are ESFP - the Performer
People-oriented and fun-loving, they make things more fun for others by their enjoyment. Living for the moment, they love new experiences. They dislike theory and impersonal analysis. Interested in serving others. Likely to be the center of attention in social situations. Well-developed common sense and practical ability.

Tyler and Jessica are ESTP - the Doer
Friendly, adaptable, action-oriented. "Doers" who are focused on immediate results. Living in the here-and-now, they're risk-takers who live fast-paced lifestyles. Impatient with long explanations. Extremely loyal to their peers, but not usually respectful of laws and rules if they get in the way of getting things done. Great people skills.

Lance is an INFP - the Idealist
Quiet, reflective, and idealistic. Interested in serving humanity. Well-developed value system, which they strive to live in accordance with. Extremely loyal. Adaptable and laid-back unless a strongly-held value is threatened. Usually talented writers. Mentally quick, and able to see possibilities. Interested in understanding and helping people.

Thomas and Karen are INTJ - the Scientist
Independent, original, analytical, and determined. Have an exceptional ability to turn theories into solid plans of action. Highly value knowledge, competence, and structure. Driven to derive meaning from their visions. Long-range thinkers. Have very high standards for their performance, and the performance of others. Natural leaders, but will follow if they trust existing leaders.

Shareese and Jess are ENFJ - the Giver
Popular and sensitive, with outstanding people skills. Externally focused, with real concern for how others think and feel. Usually dislike being alone. They see everything from the human angle, and dislike impersonal analysis. Very effective at managing people issues, and leading group discussions. Interested in serving others, and probably place the needs of others over their own needs.

T.J. is an ISFP - the Artist
Quiet, serious, sensitive and kind. Do not like conflict, and not likely to do things which may generate conflict. Loyal and faithful. Extremely well-developed senses, and aesthetic appreciation for beauty. Not interested in leading or controlling others. Flexible and open-minded. Likely to be original and creative. Enjoy the present moment.

Jonathan is an ESFJ - the Caregiver
Warm-hearted, popular, and conscientious. Tend to put the needs of others over their own needs. Feel strong sense of responsibility and duty. Value traditions and security. Interested in serving others. Need positive reinforcement to feel good about themselves. Well-developed sense of space and function.