Thank you for your message, but I don't understand...

Lindsey is totally in South Africa, and if you would like to read about her journey thus far, click here. She is amazing.

Speaking of amazing, my sister Meagan is braiding my hair right now, and it is exuding kick-ass.

Speaking of kick-ass, I got a lot lof good reviews on the papers I turned in to my classmates in my composition class; the prof even had a lot of great things to say, which is especially flattering.

Speaking of flattering, I found a dress to tonight at Hollidays that I'm pretty in love with; I hope to buy it next pay check.

Speaking of pay check, my boss is barely competant, mostly due to her relationship with one of my completely incompetent co-workers. It's okay, though; my time there is almost over. Just keep my clients in your prayers; they need them.

Speaking of prayers, you are in mine always

Always.

You make hay when the sun don't shine; you don't need a dollar, you don't need a dime...

O'Brian, I've developed a slight obsession with this song; it's been on repeat in the car for three days running and no end in sight.

Today was quite busy, but it wasn't nearly as stressful as it could have been. I got off work at six this morning, went home and cooked breakfast, took Jeff to work, came back home and took an hour nap, and went to class at 9:40. I've got one tough teacher and one fairly easy teacher; I've had both before. One is very reading intensive and the other writing intensive. Class was over at 1:50, so I went back home to take another hour nap before I was supposed to go out with my Little. She forgot about our plans, though, so we rescheduled for Thursday. We're going to see Prince Caspian. Sooo, not wanting to mess up my sleep patterns (not that there's much to screw up, considering my inability to sleep enter NREM) I went on to Sheffield and visited Jeff at the pool and then hung out at the house for a bit. I just got back from Sheffield Billiards, and here I am with you, Reader.

A request, if you please, and it's assuming a little, To those of you who read this old thing-- any entries caught your eye recently? And by recently, I mean in the three or four years I've been keeping this thing? One of my proffessor's suggested expanding old blogs into papers for her class. I know a lot of my journal is the simple recording of events which I don't imagine most people read, but every now and then I write about different things on my mind. If you have found anything remotely interesting and would like to suggest an expansion, let me know.

I saw you there with your hands above your head, spinning around, trying not to look down-

Hey. This post is purely "what has happened."

Last Thursday morning Jeff and I went to Birmingham; we visited with his parents and grandmother and then I went to meet Lance at P.F. Chang's for our long-overdue date! We sat outside and got to talk and enjoy the delicious food. Afterwards we met Jeff at Barnes and Noble, then Lance went home and Ricky picked Jeff and I up to go visit at Justin's apartment. We spent the night at Ricky and Josh's house, from which we left early the next morning for Pensecola! I road in a car with Patrick and Zack (two of Jeff's friends I hadn't met before, but who I really enjoyed) and Jeff; we were following Ricky, Josh, Justin, and the wonderful Chris. The ride down was fairly uneventful, with ideal driving conditions and funny commentary (we had walkie-talkies) and the gayest music I've ever listened to (Britney, Mariah, Destiny's Child, Madonna, Beyonce...). We checked into the hotel, got our backpacks and headed to the beach to set up camp. Speaking of camp... wow.

We did some walking and whatnot as the boys said hello to their friends from years back, and then we went to Peg Leg Pete's (Jeff's favorite restaurant) and ate dinner with Jessica! We had a rowdy time and got to harrass some really attractive waiters. I left with Jessica amidst a downpour and we headed back to her apartment in Destin (which f-ing rocks, btw). The next morning she went to work and hung out with her roommate, Amanda. We did a little grocery shopping before going on a mini-adventure trying to get into the complex's pool, where we got to play with a beautiful little three year old. A combination of beer, distraction, and not having a key and therefore not being able to leave the pool led us to become quite red. By red, I mean roasted. Like whoa. That night Jessica and I went out and about and saw Baby Mama, which I really enjoyed. We capped the night by splurging on some toasted brie with honey and almonds.

Sunday I went to work with Jessica, where I finished The Testament. Jessica ended up getting of work for Monday, so we didn't go from there to P'cola as planned; instead we went home to take a nap and then went out with Amanda for a fire works display! Jessica and I had a crab and arichoke pizza that was fanastic.

Monday morning we met back up with the boys for the trip home; Jeff and I left from Birmingham and ate with his dad in Cullman; we got back at about 9:50 and I got to work around 10:05. I got off at 6 Tuesday morning, picked Jeff up and came over the parents' house. Jeff and I went with the parents to take Lindsey to the Huntsville airport to catch her plain to D.C. We went to Ruby Tuesday's for lunch and came back home.

Sometime in the days to follow (or was it before all that?) we ate lunch at Casa with Meaghan, Shareese, and O'Brian before chilling at M-dawg's house before work. Last night we ate with the same crew plus T.J. and Nick and then hung out at the apartment for several hours. My friends are the greatest.

I've also played pool a couple times with Mom, Graham, Meagan, and Moonie, but I'm not sure when that was. I will update again soon with something more intesresting, I promise... for now, I'm glad to have this recorded. :)

It's not my fault if you get wierded out.

I was watching Rachel Maddow and Geraldine Ferraro on MSNBC this morning speaking on gender issues and how they played into the presidential race. Maddow mentioned the incident pictured above, in which two men raised these signs and chanted during one of Senator Clinton's rallies. I'm not the most politcally aware person out there, but I keep fairly good tabs on current events; I hadn't heard about this until today. I looked for the story afterwards, finally finding a Fox report on it. Most of the hits were about the same sign being held at a golf protest. Maddow asked how the audience would have reacted had two men help up a sign that read "Shine My Shoes" at one of Obama's events.

Wow.

I'd actually just been thinking about that after a recent A Softer World comic which I believe addresses the same issue. (The comic touches on gender roles and stereotypes rather frequently*, as if I didn't have enough reasons to love it.) Personally, I don't support Clinton. While I find her charismatic, I am more interested in the things Obama has to say. However, I do not want him to win because Clinton has been criticized constantly and consistently for being either too manly (ie, assertive, well-spoken, successful) or too emotional (ie, feminine (and a stereotype that may harm men even more than it does women)). This is similar to voting for Obama simply because he's black. While I am thrilled to be a part of what will hopefully be the first black president, I want him to win because most of the country comes together to support the ideas he presents. I don't want his win to be tarnished by claims of victory for blacks in America or whatever else the headlines may read. His election would be a victory for all of us, both because of his ideals and ideas which may help our country and because of his status as a minority.

I've sidetracked to race, however, which is an entirely different kettle of fish (or is it, considering the average black family consists of a mother and her children? Some day soon...). The two are certainly bedmates, however, when it comes to accepted discrimination. Everyone of of us comes from a background of degredation and humiliation, whether it was because of a family's race, religion, nationality, or social status. While black enslavement has been one of the most recent shames in our troubled human history, it is still just one of many plights we have inflicted on each other. Today, passive aggressive racism is still very present though not condoned. Women, however, are still widely regarded as second class citizens, and I'm talking here in our own backyard, folks.

I'm not sure how to change things, though I think the first step is awareness, so I hope this has been somewhat enlightening. Mostly right now, I just hope that my daughters never want those popular shirts that say "Future First Lady."

I have much to tell you soon, dear Reader.

*Here are some others that I feel address related issues:
I used to want to plant bombs, the night of the prom.
serious inquiries only
She's never too tired.
nice girls don't
well, and playing with myself a bit too.
I contain a factory for producing my own prison.
any sufficiently complex system is hackable
Fuck this coy shit.

Heap on wood, kindle the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned.

Yep... that title is a quote from God. It sounds more like something from Titus Andronicus.

Moving on- I'm starting a spice garden! Today I got rosemary, basil, and fennel. I'll probably go back and get oregano and parsley as well, but I'd like to see how these do first. I'm so excited! Morbidly enough, I got the itch to finally start this little project (which I've been thinking about for a while) after watching Rosemary's Baby last week. The witches have a spice garden. Also last week we watched Angela's Ashes, which was about as depressing as the book (and pretty good except for being so long and gray).

It doesn't make sense to pay four dollars for dried spices when the plant costs 3, provides, fresh herbs, smells lovely, and provides an endless supply of the product. I got them with Mom today; I spent the night here at the house last night and then went out with her on errands (which included flower shopping). Oh, I also got a cutting board today!

In other cooking news... I've been working on a chocolate souffle! I've done three in the last two days, trying to get it just right. I'm going to make one for Mother's Birthiversary Day.

I'm going to finish this book I've been reading called On the Prowl. It's got short stories buy Patricia Briggs (I love everything she does), Eileen Wilks (whose story I am enjoy immensely), Karen Chance and Sunn (I haven't gotten to their stories yet). Good day!

You can't disappoint me, because whatever you are is exactly what I want.

I have discovered something about myself thanks to the Grammar class I had this semester. I'm still trying to figure out how I made a college course entirely devoted to sentence structure relate to my life, but did it I did. (Analyze THAT!)

I've struggled for a while to reconcile two sides of my nature. Part of me is compulsive-- the part that only likes to walk on bricks pathways and who doesn't like the television volume to be on an odd number (unless it's a multiple of five) and who WILL NOT drink milk past the sell-by date. Part of me is disaster-- the part who goes on spontaneous road trips and plans last minute picnics and never wears matching socks.

Well, here's what I discovered: I like boxes. I like things to have labels, a place to go, a category in which to fit. BUT I like when things escape those boxes. I like knowing that things have a category they have chosen to abandon, rather than thinking they are worldly misfits. I guess this doesn't make sense. I like it, though.

I thank God tonight for the light I got in music...

I'm getting kinda tired of this campaign game. I really like this quote from Obama: "You have a real choice in this election. Either Democrat would be better than John McCain – and all three of us would be better than George Bush." I know he's said before than electing McCain would be like four more years of Georgie, but at least we'd get a new face. Anyway... go Dem's.

Jeff had work this morning so I came over to the parents' house to visit with Mom before she went to work. Now we're under a tornado warning; Graham fixed me some brown sugar oatmeal and we're watching The Daily Show.

Could you all take a second and listen to this song? It's really beautiful. You don't have to watch the video; it's just done by some kids on youtube. Shareese, I think you'll really enjoy it. Beautiful.

I may still have some stuff due at the Women's Center today, but aside from that I'm finished with this semester. I have summer courses starting on June 3 and ending June 27.

McCain is actually on the Daily Show right now... Jon Stewart is so freaking hilarious. I believe I've expressed before my desire to marry him. Also, McCain is really adorable, but in a Teddy Ruxpin sort of way. I wouldn't trust him.

In my head there's a Grey Hound station where I send my thoughts to far off destinations...

I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes, but if the silence takes you than I hope it takes me, too... so brown eyes, I'll hold you near, cause you're the only song I want to hear-- a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere.

My body is a movie...

I have gotten better at pool; Meaghan might not believe so after the two games we just played, but trust me, I have. :-p She met Graham and I at DPs this evening for some pool shooting fun. Yay!

What's been up... man. Okay. School is almost out. That's good.

I'm working tomorrow from 9am to 10pm. It should be a fun day; I actually have to be up at 6 to take Jeff to work so we can both use the car. Oh, and my client that was sick is now better,although another client is currently unwell, so if you've got a moment send a prayer to her... I can't tell you the name, but God will know who you mean.

I had a really fun time at work last Friday. I only had one client, and he and I spent most of the day at the park before going to Wal-mart to get stuff for an apple pie. I saw Karen there. It was kinda surreal. I kinda think of her every day. It is very hard for me to accept the demise of a friendship. The slow fade of love, perhaps, but an end to which I have not consented bothers me horribly. She was with her dad, I suppose, and I was with my client. Anyway, I got my client home and watching a movie and then I stepped outside for a good cry.

In other depressing news... Bo's missing again. As of tomorrow morning he'll have been gone for two weeks. I've had about three good long cries about him, but I think the lack of finality in a disappearance is keeping me from mourning as he deserves and as I need to move on.

In good news... most of my family went to Tuscaloosa Tuesday night to see Lindsey's documentary! It was fantastic, as were all of the shows. Jeff and I left that afternoon and picked up Meagan and Moonie in Birmingham, then we met Mom and Dad there. Afterward we (sans Lindsey, who was celebrating with her classmates at one of the local pubs) ate at this lovely Italian restaurant where (apparently) Chris Cook works! Chris is one of my favorite people in the world, so it was, as one might imagine, a fantastic surprise.

I've been through a lot of phone havoc recently, but I think I'm semi-set now. Still no internet at the apartment. Boo.

As fickle as these streets are, they might not even wait around 'till then...

Wellllll... here are some things.

One of my clients is in the hospital, so keep her in your prayers. I've been spending a good bit of time there, and at work in general.

I'm trying to get in hours at the Women's Center; we're selling cupcakes Thursday. Come visit!

Friday night! I went to the circus with work, which was mostly fun and a little disasterous. Afterwards I was crampy and tired, but we had party plans so I pepped up. Actually, I didn't think I was going to have fun at all, but it's hard to be sad around my friends. I got to my parents' house (they were in Virginia this past weekend for Aunt Marie's birthday) and they were already there. Jessica was in town (yay!), and Jeff and T.J. and Graham were there with chips and such. Meaghan and Nick came after a while and we played beer pong and cards and pretty much had a whale of a time.

Speaking of... have you ever seen "Mozart and the Whale"? It's got Josh Hartnet and he's a guy with Asperger's who starts a support group and also falls in love. I really enjoyed it; if there's a book, I would like to read it. I don't think there is, though.

I have finished Eat, Love, Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert, and I must say, it was magnificant. She is fun to read and has some amazing insight (made all the more enjoyable by the journeys she's taken to reach enlightenment). I hope you all ready it.... I was going to make a list of people who would really get it, but I think you would all get something out of it. Anyway, I'll probably be blabbing about it especially to those individuals I think would most appreciate it.

Saturday after work Jonathan and I met Jessica at the Sheffield rec. where Jeff was working, where we visited with himand then shot some pool before we all headed to the Blvd. again. Meaghan came over and we all played some Wii! It was amazing. Meaghan and Jessica went home and Jeff and Jonathan and I spent the night here.

Bo has been missing for a couple days. He's been missing once or twice before and turned up later... I hope that's the case this time. I've looked everywhere I can think of (as have my parents and brother). I guess now we just pray.

After class and some time at the Women's Center today I went back to the apartment and then Jeff and I went to TVA. He ran while I walked one of the trails... I noticed an opening into the woods I hadn't seen before, so I took that. I meandered around the forest, founds some water to dip my toes in, passed a dead snake, and was eventually spit out on a road. I followed that until it intersected the running trail, which I took back to my car. I called Thomas while I waited on Jeff; we were still talking when Jeff returned and he and I walked another mile or so. Thomas is great; it was really nice to talk to him. We left there to run by the store for buns and such for the bbq Mom brought home from VA; we watched NCIS and ate with my parents. It was nice.

Also really nice was getting to see Tammy today, who I haven't gotten to hang out with recently. Brittany, who is in a couple classes with me, is also cool times 12. I would really like to keep in touch with her after this semester.

Ohhh, Jeff and I went to visit Eric last night. We brought chocolate brownie ice cream and sat on the porch and just talked for a couple hours. It was amazing. You know, there are a lot of good people in this world. I hope you realize this.

But none of them were home inside their catacombs!

This is how it works-
You're young until you're not!
You love until you don't!
You try until you can't!
You laugh until you cry!
You cry until you laugh!
And everyone must breathe until their dying breath...

You bear God within you, poor wretch, and know it not.

So, it's been raining cats and dogs this morning, but I find it strangely refreshing. I'm enjoying my first day off in a couple weeks. I went to work with Jeff this morning at around 6:30; we grabbed some McDonald's breakfast and headed to the pool. I left Jeff there after a bit and went to the Blvd. to say hello to the folks before they left for work. I played with Abby and Bo some and spent a few hours watching Golden Girls, Spin City, Frasier, a new Dolly Parton video, and a sprinkling of America's Next Top Model. I also watched part of a History Channel program on gun exhibitionists which was quite interesting; apparently it's guns all day on channel 42, as later (after picking Jeff up) we watched a special on snipers, after which aired a show just on the M16.

Now we're at the apartment and Jeff is showering before we go snag some Mexican food, then I'm heading back to Sheffield to spend the afternoon with the fam.

I've been reading Eat, Pray, Love, and I am impressed. It's fantastic, and it's broken into manageable little pieces that I really enjoy. It's making me want to travel, though. My oh my, but I want to live in Italy. I'm also making my way slowly through Schoolgirls, which is good, though it's a lot of information to process. I recently read a couple romance novels; they were okay, I suppose. One actually had a really interesting plot line- by the halfway point of the book I just started skipping the monotonous sex scenes all together. I've read four romances now (well... I'm in the middle of two and I've finished two), and I have to say, they are all pretty awful.

Now, I'm not one to be picky about sexual preferences. And, as many of you know, I'm a sucker for the knight in shining armor type. I even like the rough and tumble kinda boys, the ones who do what they want and are bossy and protective and all that jazz... to an extent. These books all have these hopeless/helpless women who resist the men throughout the book, always giving into their lust at the last minute (about halfway through his rape of her, usually). Geezus. It makes me angry. I'm not going to read any more of these any time soon.

I've been working a lot... we spent an amazing afternoon at the park Wednesday, and we attended a Special Olympics Banquet Tuesday (where we say Elvis and Garth Brooks!). And the day before that, we celebrated Meaghan's birthday!!! We did dessert first with chocolate fondue (dipping angel food cake and strawberries). Then we had a Mexican Mash (a recipe I got recently at camp). Meaghan was there, of course, as well as Jeff, O'Brian, Jarmel, and Edward. We missed the rest of you a lot. Anyway, it's time for me to get some grub... oh, and I hope everyone is having a killer time in New Orleans. Love!

Happy yesterday to all-- we were born to die!

I like my new job. I don't love my new job, but I like it. I love the clients I work with. I'm not sure how I feel about the company or a couple co-workers, but overall things are pretty good. It's... well, it's kinda stressful. Sometimes the environment can be volatile, and things can switch directions so quickly that there's a constant worried voice in the back of my head. Mostly, though, we have a lot of fun.

School is okay. I have a test Tuesday in Minor's class and I really need to catch up on some grammar stuff, but mostly it's okay. I need a million hours at the Women's Center. Hey, I'm running a fund-raiser for Africa this month, but more on that later. I was supposed to go to New Orleans this weekend, but I can't. It's very sad. I can't take off work because I've taken off so much with all my recent sickness (not to mention having to pay for doctor's visits and medicine while not making money). I was looking forward to crazy bonding with the ladies from the WC, not to mention helping a great cause. Shittiest thing? I just got a new boss making a new schedule, and I'm scheduled to be off Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (and she said I would probably stop working Sundays as well). This sucks because (a) I need the hours/money and (b) if I'm not working, I should be in Louisiana!

Umm... illness update. Staph infection gone; UTI here. After almost of full week of enjoying almost full health, I headed to a work meeting Monday feeling slightly off kilter. At 2 I was on my way to work, and I had a temp of 99; still, nothing big. I left at 6:30 with 100 degree fever and took some ibuprofen when I got home. It was 101 when I went to class the next day, and almost 102 when I left class halfway into it. Jeff came with me to the doctor's office, where I was told I had a virus and a UTI.

I feel much better now; a lot of people have reacted in a way that implies I should be in a lot of pain, but I'm not. There's only mild discomfort and I get tired quickly.

I'm one pay check away from not having to stress about money. Yay! Also, my Aunt Alice gave me a cookbook called "Cook for a Day Eat for a Month," and a week or so ago I did the two-week plan in there. Our freezer is full of good eats, and so far everything we've tried has been really good. We've had stuffed peppers and lentil soup and chili and spaghetti pie. I'll keep you updated on the other dishes.

Did I even tell you about the fabulous weekend I spent at Camp McDowell? Wow oh wow. It was amazing.

Also, I'm about to buy some viney plants to grow on our little privacy fence in the back yard. Get excited.

But even at our swiftest speed we couldn't break from the concrete...

Hey.

Sometimes I feel like a cup with a tiny hole in the bottom; it's a hole so small you can't even see it. Nothing even drips from the cup-- you only know it's there because there's a wet ring on the table every time you move it. And you keep pouring more and more water in the cup, refilling it every day, thinking it can hold just a little bit more, but really it's full, it's really full and it's floating on a thin membrane of its own offerings, and you still keep checking it, filling it, filling it until clumsy people are afraid to come in the room because they might bump the table and that would be the end of the cup that's too full.

Sometimes I feel this way with good things. Sometimes I feel this way with bad things.

Sometimes I feel like maybe the good things are the cup and the bad things are the water, and the cup's okay because it's got so many layers, and as long as the layers are together they'll keep all the water until it evaporates, until it disappears, or at least until it's manageable again.

Then sometimes you don't like school and you don't like your job and you don't fall in love and you never have money and you keep losing friends and you're always sick and you don't remember how to talk to God and none of the layers are broken but none of the layers are whole.

When that Southern anthem sings it will lay her burdens down...

First things first: Iron and Wine is always good. Always always always.

Second things second: Thank you for all of your prayers, energies, and good wishes! I'm feeling much much much better!

And third things, here, appropriately third: Don't forget that I love you.

And all the styrofoam began to melt away!

Hey. I know I just texted a bunch of you, but here's an lj update.

Thursday afternoon a spot on the left side of my nose began to swell up pretty badly (a cyst, I figured). Friday evening my throat became a little sore and the swelling hadn't gone down. Saturday I woke up and the lymphnodes on the right were swollen. I checked my temperature that afternoon and it was at 100 or so. By that evening it was 102 and the swelling in both places was increasing. Dad took me to Med Plus yesterday (still 102 temp, with ibuprophen every 4 hours). The doctor said the swelling on my face was causing the temperature and sore throat; apparently I have a staph infection. So, I got a shot in my face, then he lanced the swelling. I had blood drawn from my right arm and got a shot on the left side of my rear end. Last night my temperature got up to about 104 and I had chills and couldn't get warm to save my life. When I woke up my throat was throbbing but my temp was down. It's back up to about a 100 right now, so that's not too bad.

It's not as terrible as it sounds; I just don't have the energy to dress this post up with funny asides and light-hearted adjectives. I've been staying at my parents for some TLC. I should be better

So, if an old friend I know drops by to say hello, would I still see suspicion in your eyes?

I stood under the water for a good 45 minutes
Until my hair was matted down my back
And my pretty white breasts were an angry mottled pink.
And still
I cannot
get
warm.

Won't you help a brother out?

I had my first day of work Sunday, and it was fantastic! I'm working for Scope 10, which has several group homes in the area. I'll be working primarily at a house with three women; Nick works at a house right down the street and comes to visit! We watched 16 Candles, went bowling, and spent an hour coloring... talk about a good day!!!

Ohhhh, k. Wednesday Jeff, Jonathan, and I watched the Leo Awards; they were pretty okay. Hey, free shirt! Thursday night O'Brian, Christian, Kevin, and I met Meaghan and Tammy in Tuscumbia to watched some short films; they were really impressive. It was a good event. I decided to spend the night at my parents' house on impulse, which was nice. They've replaced the shower doors in the big bathroom with a curtain though, which is super lame. That afternoon I think I shot pool with Graham and then went home. Saturday we headed back to Sheffield again because Jeff had work and Graham and I went back to DPs, where Tammy and Lindsay came to shoot for a while. I picked up Jeff at some point, who joined us. Later Tammy and Lindsay left and then Mom got there, then Jeff and I went to pick up Meagan and Moonie and bring them back to the bar, and then Dad met us, and BAM! The most of the Mullen Family was hustling at the pool hall. It was a lot of fun (but we missed you, Lindsey).

Speaking of Lindsey! She's totally going to Guatamala for her Spring Break. wa-POW!

Anyway... Sunday, worked 10-6, Monday, worked 6-10, today had med class from 9-12 and school from 12:30-3:15. The rest of the week... looks like orientation tomorrow from 8-4, CPR re-cert. and class Thursday, med class, work, and poetry slam Friday, work and Eve Ensler Saturday.

I was supposed to hang out with Little Jessica today, but she forgot and went to a friend's house. Hopefully the weather will be pretty Sunday and we can hang out at the park. Hey, we got a little snow this week... I wish we'd get a really really big snow. I'm also ready for summer. Oh, and they finally fixed out carpet this afternoon. Woo!

Here is a poem. It is a work in progress.

I was going to make you dinner.
I was going to make you dinner because I know you had a long day, and because you're tired, and because I love you.
I was going to make you dinner... but I didn't.
I didn't make you dinner because I remembered that it's the 21st century, and women don't belong in kitchen.
Never mind the fact that I like to cook.
I didn't make you dinner because then you might expect me to make you dinner tomorrow, and I might not want to make dinner tomorrow.
I didn't make you dinner because I couldn't figure out whether it was what I wanted to do for you or what society wanted me to want to do for you.
I wanted to make you dinner, but I didn't.
So I thought maybe we could go out to eat.
But we can't.
I thought maybe we could go out to eat, but then I remember I'm a little short on cash right now.
And I know you would buy me dinner, but then I would feel like I owe you something.
And I know you wouldn't expect anything, but I would feel like I owed you something, and it wouldn't be a coincidence when I felt like going down on you later.
Never mind the fact that I like giving you head almost as much as I like to cook.
And never mind the fact that I might have been in mood anyway.
The point is, men are traditionally the bread winners, and if I let you buy me dinner, I'm re-enforcing that role.
And the point is, women are traditionally responsible for dinner, and if I cook you dinner, I'm re-enforcing that role.
And the point is...

I guess we're both gonna starve before I figure out how to be the domestic feminine goddess I really want to be.

You give me something I need- now tell me I've got something for you...

It comes as a recent realization that good days are as emotionally draining as bad days, just in a different way. As I write that, I realize that it should be common sense, and I suppose, Reader, it's old hat to you, but it's taking me some time to wrap my head around it.

This weekend was draining in both good and bad ways. Jeff and I overslept Friday; he was supposed to be at the pool at 6:45ish, but we rolled in around 7:30. Ouch. I dropped him off and went to pick up Bosco and head to the vet. Our little man is now a boy; he also still has a dislocated hip, and he may have to have the same surgery Bo had. Damn. I left Bosco at the vet and picked up Mickey D's breakfast for Jeff and I and went back to the pool until he got off and we went home. That evening he had work again, so I took him and spent some time with Meagan at the house; she went out and Tammy came over and we headed to DPs, but my parents were leaving. Fastforward: I picked up Jeff and we met Graham, Tammy, Nick, and Meaghan at Sheffield Billiards. Shooting was a lot of fun- I'm even getting better, thanks to the tutalage of my dear brother! That doesn't mean I'm "good" or even "decent," mind you... just better. ;)

Meaghan and Nick spent the night; we stayed up for a while playing card games before hitting the sack. In the morning we were all fired up for a killer breakfast. We were in the middle of making pancakes, eggs, and waffles when I discovered that our storage closet downstairs was flooded. This was only the first of our flood discoveries; turns out they were replacing a water heater in the apt next to ours, which then burst and flooded it and the two neighboring units. Sooo, this means our carpet was completely soaked for half of the living room and both closets were in standing water. All our stuff is on the back porch now; we have to bring it in today because there are supposed to be storms tomorrow.

Now, as miserable as that sounds, Saturday was actually a really nice day. As the maintanence people did their version of cleaning, we finished cooking and headed to the back yard. O'Brian came over and Jeff woke up and the six of us ate breakfast on blankets in the sunshine. Afterwards we broke out the trivial pursuit and Jonathan came to play for a while. Soon the sun shifted and we found ourselves in hte shadows, so we decided to uproot and drive to Diebert Park, where we ate Girl Scout cookies and continued the game before dispersing. Jeff and I headed to Sheffield, he to work and I to DPs to shoot pool with Graham. Loni was there with her boyfriend, so I talked to her for a while. I really like her a lot, so that was nice. I also talked to Melina Bolden, who was there with her boyfriend as well. Melina and I probably talked more Saturday night than we did the entire time we were in high school. I always remember her being really sweet, and she still is.

I know you're dying to here about yesterday, and trust me, I want to tell you, but my fingers are tired and I need a shower. Later, gator!