I'm perfectly wrought. Given the circumstances, I'm even a little underwrought!

Well, well, the semester is almost over, and I think I might have done okay this semester. I think.

I hate big projects, and I despise deadlines.

I love my friends, and my family, and Harris and William.

Sunday night Chris hosted a mini Will and Grace marathon, and we had fondu again, and it was pretty great; better than last time, I think. Yay for having experience! Jessica was in town, and other guests included Jonathan, Catlin, Luke, and Adam, not to mention Chris and Jeff. All in all, it was a fun night.

I've been meeting lots of lovely people recently; today I met Cody, a friend of Jonathan's (and Justin's, I was told) and West (who I actually saw yesterday at Brewsters, and I met him there today). Speaking of... I went to Brewsters today and yesterday! Today with the boys mentioned above, and yesterday with my little sister Jessica. Jessica and I also went to Diebert to walk for a bit, and we saw about 10 turtles. All in all, pretty great.

Tonight I'm headed to Tuscaloosa, and I will leave from there with the UA caravan (and my beloved Lindsey!) to Atlanta for the Invisible Children event Displace Me. I'm very very excited to be a part of something so fantastic! Speaking of fantastic, and randomly jumping backwards, Saturday found me in the presence of Lauren, Chris, and Kelly as they made a spontaneous trip to Florence! Sadly, I got off work much later than anticipated, so they were forced to wander the streets of downtown without a guide for a bit, but from what I understand they had a good time, and they made me flower jewelry in the process, so everybody wins! The next day we went to Diebert to picnic and flight some exciting kites (GI Joe and Madam Butterfly); we were joined by O'Brian and Jeff. It was beautiful.

I'm still stressed about school, but things are finally winding down. I don't know when I'll find time to do all the things I must do, but I will find the time, because that's what you do, isn't it? You make things work.

Be loud, let your colors show!

...try to keep the madness low...

This is the kind of comedy where no one's laughing, 'cause it's hard to.

Did I ever tell you about the time Shareese, O'Brian, and I explored a terribly old graveyard in Birmingham? If I forgot to mention it before, let me say this: it was beautiful and spontaneous and novel-worthy.

And have I mentioned, lately, that I have the loveliest friends? I'm sure I've said so before, but I wanted to remind you.

Last night Graham, Jonathan, Jeff, and I (and Chris joined us later) ate at Legends, over on Seminary Street), and I must say, it was quite nice. I really enjoyed it. Walking out the door we saw Catlin and Chase and their cohorts, and later we ran into Grace Alverson and I met several new people (Adam (who works at Subway and is just about the prettiest thing I ever did see), Breeanna (who didn't talk much), and Aaron (who I would love to put in a snow globe and carry around to show off to my friends- he's just that cute)). We walked to the corner, and I felt like a pimp (and why shouldn't I, with such pretty young men around me?). It was crowded and exciting and I love Florence. I really do.

Later Jeff and I watched Cursed, which we both thought was a new one for us, but it turned out that the movie was familiar to both of us. Anyway, it was pretty good for a cheesy horrorish flick. The other not we watched Hellbent, by the by, and it was surprisingly good. This morning we made steak and eggs with sauteed green peppers and onions, and I must say, it was fantastic. Then we watched Underworld, then Jeff went to work and I went to have my car washed by Chris and his Old Navy Crew, who were raising money for muscular dystrophy, then I grabbed some Subway and went to eat with Jeff, then I visited with my momma for a bit, then I picked up the boys, then we went to Spring Park, where Jetson met us for a bit, then we came here, then then became now, and now the boys are asleep and I'm updating you, dear Journal!

Anyone wanna play tonight? [Hint: The Answer is Me]

Really, I'm tired tired, but I just feel so embraced right now. I mean, things are really stressful, what with school and whatnot, and leaving and all the stuff going on, but then I look at how many good good people are all around me, and things are okay, ya know?

Anyway, if I buy a 47 person bed, will you all join me in a big cuddle?

Suppose I never ever saw you? Suppose we never fell in love?

I've been meaning to post for a bit about personality profiles. I've taken the test before, and I am an ENFP- the Inspirer:

Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.

Now, I may be way off with these, but I've tried to guess most of your personality types based on the descriptions. Lance helped me with some, and I've already talked to a couple of you about them... anyway, if you get the chance, take the test and let me know if I was close (or just read the descriptions)! Also, it'd be neat even if I'm just close ... like, Lindsey and I guessed Graham to be an ESFJ, and he took the test and he's an ISFJ... we were close... just pegged him as more extraverted... interesting. Some of you I know a lot better than others, and I'm more confident in my guesses for you; not so much on some others, but I tried to peg you anway. Some of you I don't know well enough to really guess, but I'm still interested... If I'm wrong about the ones I tried, I'll edit this so that it's accurate... just let me know!

Dad and Jeff are ENTP - the Visionary:
Creative, resourceful, and intellectually quick. Good at a broad range of things. Enjoy debating issues, and may be into "one-up-manship". They get very excited about new ideas and projects, but may neglect the more routine aspects of life. Generally outspoken and assertive. They enjoy people and are stimulating company. Excellent ability to understand concepts and apply logic to find solutions.

Mom, Meaghan, and Britni are ISTJ - the Duty-Fulfiller:
Serious and quiet, interested in security and peaceful living. Extremely thorough, responsible, and dependable. Well-developed powers of concentration. Usually interested in supporting and promoting traditions and establishments. Well-organized and hard working, they work steadily towards identified goals. They can usually accomplish any task once they have set their mind to it.

Jennifer is an ESTJ- the Guardian:
Practical, traditional, and organized. Likely to be athletic. Not interested in theory or abstraction unless they see the practical application. Have clear visions of the way things should be. Loyal and hard-working. Like to be in charge. Exceptionally capable in organizing and running activities. "Good citizens" who value security and peaceful living.

Lindsey INFJ - the Protector
Quietly forceful, original, and sensitive. Tend to stick to things until they are done. Extremely intuitive about people, and concerned for their feelings. Well-developed value systems which they strictly adhere to. Well-respected for their perserverence in doing the right thing. Likely to be individualistic, rather than leading or following.

Graham and O'Brian are ISFJ - the Nurturer
Quiet, kind, and conscientious. Can be depended on to follow through. Usually puts the needs of others above their own needs. Stable and practical, they value security and traditions. Well-developed sense of space and function. Rich inner world of observations about people. Extremely perceptive of other's feelings. Interested in serving others.

Meagan and Mark are ESFP - the Performer
People-oriented and fun-loving, they make things more fun for others by their enjoyment. Living for the moment, they love new experiences. They dislike theory and impersonal analysis. Interested in serving others. Likely to be the center of attention in social situations. Well-developed common sense and practical ability.

Tyler and Jessica are ESTP - the Doer
Friendly, adaptable, action-oriented. "Doers" who are focused on immediate results. Living in the here-and-now, they're risk-takers who live fast-paced lifestyles. Impatient with long explanations. Extremely loyal to their peers, but not usually respectful of laws and rules if they get in the way of getting things done. Great people skills.

Lance is an INFP - the Idealist
Quiet, reflective, and idealistic. Interested in serving humanity. Well-developed value system, which they strive to live in accordance with. Extremely loyal. Adaptable and laid-back unless a strongly-held value is threatened. Usually talented writers. Mentally quick, and able to see possibilities. Interested in understanding and helping people.

Thomas and Karen are INTJ - the Scientist
Independent, original, analytical, and determined. Have an exceptional ability to turn theories into solid plans of action. Highly value knowledge, competence, and structure. Driven to derive meaning from their visions. Long-range thinkers. Have very high standards for their performance, and the performance of others. Natural leaders, but will follow if they trust existing leaders.

Shareese and Jess are ENFJ - the Giver
Popular and sensitive, with outstanding people skills. Externally focused, with real concern for how others think and feel. Usually dislike being alone. They see everything from the human angle, and dislike impersonal analysis. Very effective at managing people issues, and leading group discussions. Interested in serving others, and probably place the needs of others over their own needs.

T.J. is an ISFP - the Artist
Quiet, serious, sensitive and kind. Do not like conflict, and not likely to do things which may generate conflict. Loyal and faithful. Extremely well-developed senses, and aesthetic appreciation for beauty. Not interested in leading or controlling others. Flexible and open-minded. Likely to be original and creative. Enjoy the present moment.

Jonathan is an ESFJ - the Caregiver
Warm-hearted, popular, and conscientious. Tend to put the needs of others over their own needs. Feel strong sense of responsibility and duty. Value traditions and security. Interested in serving others. Need positive reinforcement to feel good about themselves. Well-developed sense of space and function.

But I... I'll kiss your head...

Well well, I had a bitchy and morose blog all planned out, but alas, a few simple words of praise from a rather intimdating teacher, and I'm much too happy to really sink in my teeth and do that sad blog justice.

As it is, I'm going to tell you some of the goings on inside me, but from views of contemplation as opposed to depression.

I keep bouncing from cloud to cloud, some thunderous and scary and others light and lovely and each one more intense than the last. I feel like I'm not doing what I need to do to make people happy, and I'm not sure if I don't know how to fix things or I'm just not willing to know how to fix things, and either one is rather diappointing. I'm digging into several relationships right now, some new and others not new, but not yet fully explored, I think, and I want to know these best friends better. In doing that, though, I believe I'm pushing people out. It's not a tossed out the back door kind of push, but a slow pressure, like when you're slowly shoved to the back of a crowd in a concert and you're not sure how you ended up so far from the stage. I think I'm being pushed a little my self, actually, and I'm not sure why.

I'm scared about everything right now. I'm worried about this summer, I'm worried about next semester, I'm worried about graduating, I'm worried about my friends graduating, I'm worried about... lots. I'm terrified to leave William and Harris, but I do know it's the right thing to do for me now, and there's some (though not much) comfort in that. I'm incredibly anxious about working at Camp this summer, but I'm also feeling rather selfish, and I'm not sure that I'm ready to open my heart to anyone else when I can't even hang on to the people I've got.

I'm also elated about this summer, of course, and excited about next semester and graduation. Don't you even for a second think that I am not a happy girl, Reader, because I am I am I am. I have so much! And I don't mean I have so much like "I counted my blessings and I realize I have more than I deserve" (which is true, but I did not employ list making in this evaluation). Not a day goes past that I don't have a moment or two (or three or four, some days) where I feel like my heart will finally give a loud burp of contentment and give out, having exhausted itself with all the loving and being loved. I'm even in a good mood now, but I need these things out of me lest they continue to fester. Fester. What an ugly word.

Le sigh.

There's a lot to tell you about since my last entry, but I need to go cash a check and then head to the gym for a bit. I will tell you that Lynn Butler told me after class today that I was one of her stars, that I had really shown this semester and impressed her. She said I had a wonderful grasp of language and an good eye for observation. I beamed. I still smile to think about it. I'll have a portolio soon. How exciting is that?

But right now, everything is turning blue.

And right now, the sun is trying to kill the moon.

I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky!

So much so much so much! It's one of those days, folks... my heart may very well explode if I don't take the proper precautions.

I need an hour to babble about the goings on of the couple weeks. Alas, I don't have an hour. I have 40 minutes, and several of those will be spent walking to class, and another 10 will be needed to review the reading for Lit. Crit.

I just publicized an entry I started before we left (a couple Saturdays ago), so feel free to scroll down and give it a read (and a comment, if you feel the spirit move you to do so). I'm going to make a quick list of high points of things I keep meaning to tell you and haven't had the chance to talk about... perhaps later I will elaborate, but for now I need this out of my buzzing system:

~ Jeff and I saw a deer at Wildwood last week
~ we got to Fort Walton at 7:30ish Sunday morning
~ we were both surprised by the reflection of the truck in a store window
~ Jessica made us a wonderful breakfast
~ bridal Expo (fun dresses, a gay boy, and I'm Too Sexy)
~ Panama City with the foreign kids
~ drinking on the beach under the bridge (kites, burying Jessica, shotgunning beer)
~ Team America, Closer, Nine Dead Gay Guys, Office Space
~ sunrise
~ arriving in Cullman at 2ish Thursday morning (using a map, not mapquest, and with only one short detour!)
~ 300 again with Jeff's parents
~ lunch in Birmingham with Lance, Britni, Tyler, Britney, Ricky, Josh, Justin, David, Jess
~ coffee with Catlin and Meagan (and Rasberry Beret)
~ coffee with Jeff, Eric, Catlin, O'Brian (after dinner at CiCi's)
~ coffee with Graham and Jeff and Mom
~ spent yesterday with Shareese (watched Shortbus) after eating with her and Meaghan at Outback (O'Brian working)
~ dinner at the house
~ sitting in the floor of the men's clothing department at Wal*mart for over half an hour at 11ish last night talking to Lindsey

I have the best friends and family in the world.

Spring Break was amazing. My life is amazing. YOU, reader, are amazing.

To the left, to the left...

What the hell is up with this song? I love it. I don't love the new Shakira and Beyonce song. Or the video. You'd think with two people as sexy and talented as Beyonce and Shakira, they could come up with something better.

Harris and William now know several words to Regina Spektor's Fidelity, and Harris actually sings to a couple parts of it now without my encouraging. It just may be the cutest thing he's ever done, and Harris is one adorable little boy. He and William had their birthday party today; things went swimmingly. All the kids there were well-behaved and adorable, and Lacey came with Asa which made the party a lot more fun for me- I'm really glad you two came, and I love you more every time I see you!

Afterwards we (me and the boys) played in the park, and they were both in really good spirits, and we had a great time. We left around 6:30 and went to Jeff's apartment for half an hour to pick up some laundry (but really to make him feel loved), then grabbed some dirty clothes from my place and came back here. They ate a small supper with no fuss and then went to bed easy-peasy at 8. I've been washing clothes here, and I just hope that I get this next load out before Rosario and Stephen get home; they said they'd be here around 10, so that's what I'm counting on. Keep your fingers crossed!

This morning Jeff and I cleaned my car! It's amazing! It actually wasn't as disasterous as I had feared (Jeff, you may not believe that, but it's true.) We even vacuumed her out and ran her through the wash. Then I headed to Sheffield and Dad offered to let us take the truck, which is very exciting (I was really worried about my engine making it to the beach).

Oh, yes- the beach. That's right folks, I'm headed that way! Jeff and I are leaving tonight, I think. We actually have several options. We can sleep a few hours then leave at threeish (I'm in favor of this, while Jeff is completley opposed), drive all the way through when I get off work in half an hour, drive to Cullman and sleep some, then drive the rest (Jeff seems to like this option, while it is my least favorite), or (and this is a recently discovered avenue) we could stop in Birmingham to sleep and then travel the rest of the way. Decisions, decisions!

I'ma have to buy a new bathing suit once we get there. And some new clothes. I'm excited about that. Outlet malls! Hurray! I just remember that those would be there! I'm a little more excited about shopping now than I was.

Above all else, I'm ready to see Jessica and the ocean (in that order... I guess... ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An update! I totally didn't finish this entry, because the Tomlinsons got home... here it is, now, in full technicolor! Or... you know, just a public entry now.

We counted every black car passing your house.

Well well, I've spent an hour trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my prospectus. I'm a bit lost and very intimidated by this process, not to mention uninterested, which may have dire consequences. I think I'm going to apply Nina Baym's essay Melodramas of Beset Manhood to Henry James's The Art of Fiction. I guess we'll see how that goes. I definitely would like to do something dealing with women in literature, as this has become my primary interest, followed closely by black women in literature. I would definitely like to learn more about both.

Yesterday I spent all morning at Diebert Park with the boys; it was fantastic and beautiful. When we arrived we were the only ones there, which was strange and nice. Later two school buses pulled up, vomiting children all over our silent playground. It wasn't too bad, though, because the boys ended up playing with several of the kids (who must have been in 3rd grade or so). It was William's 4th birthday... man. They've grown so much since I started working for them. And I have to leave them soon. Sad day.

Let's not dwell now, though. After I got off, Jeff and I went back to the park to walk for a bit, then he and his friend Stephanie went running while I played on the swings. About the time they finished, Catlin and Chase came to chat, and then we all scattered for the day.

I have a million things to do today, like the laundry I was suppose to do every day this week (I did finally do a load last night), cleaning out my car and taking it to a mechanic, and straightening my apartment. I also plan to see Death By Chocolate at the Zodiac Theatre tonight at 8ish, if any of you would like to come.

Tomorrow is the party for William and Harris at the Children's Museum; it should be fun! Lacey and Asa are coming, woohoo! I'm going to babysit later that evening for them, and then I'm headed to Fort Walton to visit Jessica! I do believe Jeff and I are going together, though I guess he still hasn't confirmed that. Today and tomorrow are going to be high stress; that's a fact. Sunday, though... Sunday I'm going to spend sleeping on the beach.

And the world is so much meaner when your heart is hard...

Good morrow, cuz?

Is the day so young?

But new struck cuz.

Ah, me, sad hours seem long!

I mean to type "good morrow;" the rest just popped out. How are you this lovely Sunday, Reader?

I hope your week went well. Alls good here. The week was nice, nothing exceptionally stressful. We watched The Color Purple in Women in Lit., and I cried. It was good. I worked 13 hours Thursday. I worked again Friday night, then headed to Jeff and Chris's, where Catlin and Chase came to hang out for a bit. Yesterday Jensen called, and we decided to go geocaching (Jensen, T.J., Graham, Jeff, and I). I hadn't been in a long time, and I want to go again soon- it was great. We did have some cop action, but he was friendly. We were also told to leave by hotel management at one place. Oh my! Later Jeff and I came back to Tuscumbia to eat at Fiesta Mexicana with Jetson and Leigh Ann (their mom), then we went back to their apartment to visit for a while before going home. It was an St. Patrick's Day!

Last night Jeff and I watched Playing by Heart. I didn't realize how much I loved that movie until I wanted to see it again and I got all giddy talking about it. It was wonderful, and Jeff liked it, and you would like it, too, Reader, I'm sure of it! It's got an amazing cast, too.

Today today today... laundry! I must do laundry. And I have a midterm due tomorrow. It's a 500 word essay. No biggie. I have to write an essay with the topic "Springtime in the South." I'm thinking about turning the piece I'm doing about the picnic into this piece. Every time I think of the title, a little voice inside me sings "Hitler in Springtime." Teehee.

It's just something that we do.

Sunday was amazing. Amazing! If one day I am asked to assemble one week of perfect days out of my life, Sunday, March 11, will be one of them. I'm going to write a paper for my nature writing class on it tonight, so I will leave the descriptions off for now. Just know that it was fun, and I am madly in love with more people than I ever thought possible.

Today was a good day, too. It's Graham's birthday, woohoo! Big 19... only three months and three days until we're all legal! We'll be 18, 19, 20, 21, then my birthday ten days later and we're back on track until next year. Hummmmm....

Allow me to backtrack. Last night was nice. I didn't really feel like hanging out with the fam, but I eventually wandered over to that side of the river, and I'm glad I did. It was fairly boring at first (everyone in a separate room watching separate televisions or on separate computers), but later Lindsey suggest we take a night walk, so we (Lindsey, Graham, and I) headed out! We were approached by our baying hounds before we had gone far, so we carried them back (heavy and stinky though they were) and then continued onwards, this time with Bach following. We didn't quite walk a mile because Lindsey was worried about the cat. I decided to watch Pete's Dragon, but instead Lindsey and I talked until 2ish. We ate really late and looked at some of Grampa's sermons, which was fun and interesting; we also checked out some old pictures of the house and talked about the land and how much we love this property and whatnot.

Now, today... this morning we all had breakfast together (yes, all 6 of us!) after singing to dear Graham, then I brought breakfast to Jeff at the pool before heading into work 45 minutes late. I took the boys to McFarland Park, where we spent a couple hours playing with the styrofoam airplane I got this weekend and running around with kites and playing on the playground. A group home came to eat lunch while we were there, and it was all I could do not to go plop down at the their table. I am missing some Special Session right now. Later we drove to the picnic area and just walked around under the pine trees. It was so pleasant. We then headed to UNA to see the lions, which was really fun until Leo decided to mount Una, making me feel incredibly awkward at I made a mad dash to get the boys away from the glass (not so much because it would offend them, but because I didn't want to answer William's questions and I had my own self-imposed awkwardness to deal with). We then went home and lunched and napped and listen to Fidelity by Regina Spektor

I'm in Collier now; Jeff and I just went swimming at the UNA pool (joined by Aubrey and Chris Jordan part of the time). It was nice. I'm off to Books-a-Million now. Should be fun! Ciao!

Sweeeeeet cuppin' cakes.

Howdy, kids! How goes it here in cyberland? Alls well, I hope.

I have had very strange dreams as of late. Last night I dreamt Lance, Graham, Dad, and I were fishing and swimming by the pier, and Lance was complaining about how one time when he and Graham were sleeping in the boat, it was freezing in the morning, and I was like "Uh, when did you go camping with my family?" Apparently, they went camping together a lot, though.

Night before last I dreamed Dad was making a movie of his life. It was the weirdest thing ever. All these people kept showing up looking just like my family members and family friends. It was... disconcerting. Mostly it was just Dad and his group. He was playing himself, as was Mom. Mom had gone out to get a Black Lab to play Nyx, and we told her she had to get a Dalmatian, then, because we had Perdy a lot longer than Onyx (so she did that). I remember the Uncle Keith double looking startlingly like Uncle Keith. There was also a guy playing Scott, and he had this ridiculous wig on, and I remember thinking that the actor wanted to make a joke out of the production, which is probably what Scott would do, which is pretty funny. The most disconcerting character was Uncle Wade. The guy looked like him, kinda, but he was to skinny and he had a cocky walk. Uncle Wade was definitely not cocky, and that bothered me the most. My dad? Cocky. Uncle Keith? Cocky as hell.

You know, Uncle Wade may be the only Mullen I've ever met who wasn't cocky, now that I think about it. Except maybe Grampa. Anyway, I remember it really bothered me and I wanted them to find another actor, but there wasn't time. I don't remember much else about the dream, except that there was a lot of guitar playing.

Sooo... school's going well. Work's going well. I'm still overly stressed, though I think it's for no reason (or little reason). Umm, Jeff may just be the cutest thing in the world. He's sleeping now, and I would like to put him in my pocket and carry him around to look at when I get sad.

The Quiet World, by Jeffrey McDaniel.

A Voice Post

I didn't care; I just bummed from my friends.

Hey, remember that time when we stayed up all night talking and then watched the sunrise?

Hey, remember that time we went to football games on Friday nights?

Hey, remember that time when we danced on that rock?

And remember that time when we danced in the rain?

Hey, remember that time when you came to visit me?  I was so happy I thought I would burst.

Hey, remember that time when I visited you?

Hey, remember that time when we slept in a church in Decatur?

Hey, remember that time when we flew kites and laid on felt blankets?

Hey, remember that time when we sat in the grass and drank rum?

Hey, remember that time when we sat in the dorms and drank vodka?

Hey, remember that time when we sat on the beach and drank gin?

Hey, remember that time when we holed up in my room and watched sitcoms all afternoon?

Hey, remember that time they shot fireworks just for us?

Hey, remember that time when we smoked cigarettes in the woods by my house?

Hey, remember that time when we kissed?

Hey, remember that time when we stayed up all night in the computer lab doing nothing?

Hey, remember that time when we lived together?

Hey, remember that time when we ate ice cream in the caf until they kicked us out?

And remember later when we waded in the fountain even though it was freezing?  Later I carried you piggy-back up the stairs.

Hey, remember that other time we raced around it?

Hey, remember that time when we first talked?

Hey, remember that other time when we didn't?

Hey, remember that time when we made French toast?

Hey, remember that time when we got out picture taken on the dog-shaped couch?

Hey, remember that time you sang outside of Jack's?  It was beautiful.

Hey, remember that time when we road in the back of the truck in our wedding formals?

Hey, remember that time when we spent all day on the river?

Hey, remember that time when we watched The Never-ending Story while it rained outside?

Hey, remember that time when walked along stopped traffic and up into the woods?

Hey, remember that time when we fell asleep together?  Remember all those times?

Hey, remember that time when we cracked up during Mass?

Hey, remember that time when we got lost?

Hey, remember that time when we went to the thrift store?

Hey, remember that time when we did plays together?

Hey, remember that time when we ran through the sprinklers?

Hey, remember when I found that little snake?  And that dog?  And those kittens?

Hey, remember that time when we spent all summer painting my house green and yellow?

Hey, remember that concert?  It was amazing.

Hey, remember that surprise birthday party?  And remember those other surprises and those other birthdays?

Hey, remember that time when we spent all day in the movie theatre?

Hey, remember that time when we swam in the hotel pool all night?

Hey, do you remember prom?  That was fun.

Hey, remember that time when we were supposed to study but we talked to each other instead?

Hey, remember that time when we sat next to each other in class?

Hey, remember that poem you read me?

Hey, remember that poem I read you?

Hey, remember that time when we decided we were going to walk after school?  We only did it once.

Hey, remember that time when we sang in the car?

Hey, remember that time when ate in the park?

Hey, remember that time when I skinned my knees and you couldn't stop laughing?

Remember that time when we were lonely, but at least we were lonely together?

Hey, remember that time when we walked to the gas station?

Hey, remember that time we lived together?

Hey, remember that time we used to eat dinner and watch Will and Grace every night?

Hey, remember that voice mail you left me?  I appreciated that.

Hey, remember that time we cooked dinner for all our friends?

Hey, remember that time we went to that protest?

Hey, remember that time we cried on the balcony together?

Hey, remember that time when spent three hours at Arby's just goofing off?

Hey, remember that poem you read me?

And remember that poem I read you?

Hey, remember that time when I called you in a panic?  I felt a lot better afterwards.

Hey, remember that time when we rolled down the hill?

Hey, remember that time when we all dressed up for Halloween?

Hey, remember that time when we were obsessed with BNL?

Hey, remember that time we showered together?

Hey, remember that time when you played your guitar?  I fell in love with you a little.

Hey, remember that time when went to the club?

Do you remember how that song made me cry?

Hey, remember that time when I lost my cell phone?  And the time I lost my keys?  And the time I lost my bookbag?

Hey, remember that time we jumped the fence?

Hey remember that time...

Goddammit.

Girl, tonight we're gonna make love. You know how I know, baby?

'Cause it's Wednesday.

Cause that's all that you'll get, so you'll have to accept you are here, then you're gone...

Meagan's team lost this morning, so I'm caught sniffling here in the library at school. While high school sports have not been a major concern of mine in some years, Meagan is and always will be at the top of my list, and I didn't get to see her last game. I was fairly confident they'd be playing in the finals Friday, and I made plans to be there. I wish I could have seen her play today. I know she was amazing.

I have more to say, but I'm a bit distraught and I don't have much time before my next class. Thank you so so much for reading my paper, guys. I really didn't expect any feedback because I know it can be a pain to turn a quick update into a mini-English class, but really appreciate your comments. I've made a few adjustments, and I feel a lot more confident after your wonderful words. Careful, though, because I'm going to start counting on you. :) I have another paper here, so if you would, pretty please? Feel free to make whatever critics you want; I might not follow your advice, mind you, but it never hurts to revist a passage. Even if you don't know what exactly it is, or if it's just a paragraph that read funny or a word that tripped you up, let me know. I'm a lot more self-conscious about this particular piece because it's my first attempt at a segmented essay, and I'm not sure if I did it well. Anyway, let me know, if you get the chance!

I'm off to gather sources for a 10 page paper on the effect of black female authors on the American women's movement!

You're going to turn around very slowly and you're going to touch the floor for my viewing pleasure.

And now, for your viewing pleasure: a paper!

Now, I know that most of you will not read the paper, much less click the link, and that's very okay, because I know you're at least as busy as I. However, if you do happen to have a free moment and would like to offer any constructive criticism, I'd appreciate it. I've only re-read it once, so I'm sure it needs a lot of cleaning up, but I'll do that soon enough. I'll probably post another paper or two today as well. I would like you to read them, but that's the secondary purpose of these posts- mostly, I would like to have these at my fingertips when I need them. I didn't make much effort to save my papers from high school, and that may be for the best in some cases, but some of those essays weren't half bad, and I think I could greatly improve them now.

Samson. What a song. What a brilliant beautiful sad sweet song! *swoon*

A new title I've come to apply to myself: alliteration advocate. That's taken from a friend from AGS loooong ago; I stumbled upon her page the other day, and there it was, calling my name. I hope you, too, will don the title and wear it proudly.

I wasted a lot of time stressing about Literary Criticism this weekend, and it turns out I lead the discussion Wednesday (not today, as I though). We read an essay by Viktor Schlovsky today; it was quite interesting, though a bit redundant, as many of the essayists we've read seem to be. My favorite part of the whole essay? The last lines: "But I will not discuss rhythm in more detail since I intend to write a book about it." How fantastic! I want to right essays that end in such confident assertions. Anyway, it amused me.

We were strangers in the night, up to the moment when we said our first hello...

Home again, home again! as my grandmother says. Updates, updates, for those who are curious (so... for me, in a few months when I re-read this, I suppose). It took us about 10 hours to get to San Destin Thursday; not only did we take the longer route, but we traveled with a 3 year old, so we had to make bathroom stops rather frequently. The trip was nice; the ocean was beautiful. The highlight of the trip was, of course, seeing Jessica Friday. We got to spend some time alone together whilst the boys napped and Rosario was with them; we also hit the pools and hot tubs. Later we played in the sand with the kids; I've got a lovely little piece I started writing on the way home about that. Also noteworthy: talking to Lance while he watched us on the beach through a webcam. Creepy, right? It's not as creepy as it sounds, because you can't actually tell who people are (or so says the Lance... he's probably just trying to look less stalkerish, though).

Yesterday I started my period early, which is odd; I'm almost always irregular, but I'm rarely early. It was pretty crappy, I'll tell you that much. I got birth control last month, but I didn't start taking it yet. I should start next Sunday. I don't like it, though... I'm not sure why. It's hard to explain, and I don't have the energy or desire to do so tonight. Any(I think perhaps one day I will go through this journal and conclude that I talked much to much about menstruation. For that, I apologize.)

The drive home took only 7 hours, as we took a shorter route and put diapers on William. Once home I ate pizza with their fam, then headed to my apartment to read a bit of Blue Shoe by Ann Lamont, then came here, home, to visit with my grandma and do some homework. (This weekend I finished reading For Love of Evil by Piers Anthony; I'd read it before, but it's been a while. I really want to revisist the whole Incarnations of Immortality series, I wanted to read this one because it's a slight refresher on the rest of the series, and now I can read the seventh book, which I've not done yet.) I have oodles of work to do, including several papers for Nature Writing and some exciting analysis for Lit.Crit. Fun? You bet.

I'm officially hired for Camp McDowell this summer. It's almost as intimidating as it is exciting. I'm really looking forward to meeting and loving new people, but I'm also rather nervous about it, because I'm not sure I have room for that right now. I do, of course, because you can't really plan for this sort of thing, and the worries beforehand are truly worthless, bute I'm worried never the less. I'm worried about a lot of things. I've been having nightmares lately about all the junk I've been suppressing, especially about my uncle and fam and about Harris and William and about school.

I'm going to play the Sims work on my papers now. I leave you with this:

It made me happy. So, thanks.

I hear in my mind all these voices; I hear in my mind all these words...

Oh, Regina. You are my newest love.

When did we last speak? Saturday? It's been much to long, dear, and I've missed you.

For nature writing I'm doing a piece on sunsets; it's an uber-descriptive contrast and compare of the sunset in Anna Maria and the sunset on Park Blvd. I'm toying with the idea of a segmented piece, but that makes me nervous. For one, I might have to read it outloud, and segmented pieces aren't as good read aloud. For another, I've never done one, and I would really not like to screw up a good grade with experimentation. I don't want my piece to be boring, though. I'll be talking about the birds you're likely to see and hear in either place, as well as the trees, the insects, and the overall landscape. I'm sure either description on it's own would be interesting, but I'm afraid if I describe one and then launch into a similar structure about the second, readers might be turned off the the second sunset. Decisions, decisions. Either way, I'm going to post it on here when I'm finished, for my own records.

Tomorrow morning I leave for Destin with the Tomlinsons. I'm not all that excited, sadly, though I'm super-pumped about seeing Jessica, however briefly. I don't wanna miss class Friday, though, and I want to visit my with my grandma (who got in town last night), and I want to see Meagan play ball, and I want to chill for a bit. My apologies; the bad energy I'm putting out right now brings to mind comic images of smelly characters on Saturday morning cartoons with odor emanating from them in squiggly black lines. This weekend will be fantastic, I will get to do a lot of reading and writing, and I will spend some good quality time with William and Harris.

Speaking of! After you put Harris in his crib, he says "bye" to let you know he's ready to go to sleep. Tonight, he said "bye," and I said "good night," and he said "sleep tight!" Now, if that wasn't the cutest thing I ever heard in my life...

Last night I made peppers and Italian sausage, and it turned out pretty well, although it was too greasy (I forgot to get rice, which would have helped soak that up and make it better). I also made a lasagna to freeze, and I think/hope/pray it's going to be alright, and maybe even good. Using leftovers from the lasagna, I made improvised cannelloni (in case you were wondering, the difference between manicotti and cannelloni is the stuffing; the former most often has cheese, while the latter usuaslly has cheese and meat- I just looked this up).

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I started this post last night, and here it is Thursday morning, so my apologies for the in-congruency. I was just working on this essay, but things are going less than stellar, and I've decided to abandon the thing for now. I'm about to go to Wal-mart and see what kind of cheap-o dresses they have, because I don't have any nice casual things for this weather, and I need them for Florida. Blah!

I'm tired and cranky this morning. Lucky for everyone else, you're not here to bear witness to this grumpy mess.

Or perhaps it's not so lucky... I can never stay ill around any of you, you know.