...and I'm thinking about what to think about.

Last night I had a dream where "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson came on the radio. This song is the alarm on my phone, and I awoke with a start.

I've been re-reading The Hound of the Baskervilles on my breaks at work, when I'm not working on my quilt. Two days ago I was hit on by a man with crazy eyes who is building a time machine.

I have found copies of The Little Prince in Spanish (which I gave to Jonathan), French, and English.

I think I made a new friend at work today. She is a college student around here who loves old books and old movies.

Jessica and Amanda and I went out tonight and talked about people who died for a long time. It was very sad but also very cathartic in a lot of ways. Then we started Steel Magnolias. Now we are all asleep.

You can deny the Holocaust all you want, but you can’t deny that there’s something between us...

Friday evening I was mighty tired, so I decided to just sleep and sleep and wake up and drive, which I did, around 4 Saturday morning. I actually got on the road around five, and the drive took longer than planned because I missed a turn a couple hours into the journey. I had planned to grab some lunch with Lance, but I misjudged my Birmingham route and missed him, unfortunately. I ended up stopping in Dodge City to have lunch with Jeff.

That afternoon I got home and saw the fam (sans Graham, who didn't arrive until later that night). Lindsey, Meagan, and I went out looking at dresses and bought some scraps for Lindsey's potential quilt. We dyed some really beautiful/experimental eggs later. Sunday morning everyone got dressed up and headed to church for a really nice service, despite the babbling babies. Francis and Audrey sang "Roll Away the Stone," which is a bit of an Easter tradition at St. Joe's, I suppose. The song is always beautiful, and this year was no exception. They didn't begin with the usual haunting two part that they usually use, but they kicked it up by the end. The build up was totally worth it. It never fails to bring tears. It's beautiful, and it reminds me why the Jesus story has continued to thrive. What a wonderful hopeful ending!!!

Mom really put together an outstanding Easter dinner for that afternoon. Grandmomma and Uncle Keith came, as well as Jill and Hunter and Hope. We took a few pictures and attempted to fly kites. After the egg battle (which Mom totally won, as usual (although Moonie had her beat last year, I believe)) we played a long lovely round of bacci ball! My grandmother playing bacci is the cutest thing in the world.

I was supposed to leave Sunday night, but the skies were unfriendly and I decided to not drive through the tornadoes and call in to work. Lindsey and Graham had crazy damage in Tuscaloosa. I ended up spending a few hours with Jonathan; I worked on my quilt and got to meet some of his friends and we watched some Summer Heights High, Pete and Pete, and then American History X. Monday was a very lazy day, in which I mostly slept, did a little laundry and packing, and spent some time with Meagan. I left around 7 that evening, hitting a little rain in Muscle Shoals and otherwise enjoying clear-ish skies and no rainfall. I made it home in six hours and with limited commercial interruption.

Pre-Easter:

Amanda and Jessica are very silly, and we had a lovely night filled with full wine glasses and nineties hits. We dance and we sang and we did not throw up on this.

Kite flying the first: more successful. Jessica and I took Magenta and Riff Raff to the park for some high flying adventures. We also played with some puppies earlier that day. It was the first sunny day in at least a week, and we definitely enjoyed it.

Sometime soon I need to tell you about some thoughts about Lent and the Easter Season and about church and about me.

Right now though? Right now, I'm going to bed.

Maybe next year.

What I'd really like to see you do in the coming weeks is party harder and party smarter than usual. In my astrological opinion, you're most likely to attract life's maximum generosity by shedding some of your social inhibitions and cultivating the pleasures of free-form networking. Believe me, I know how important it is for you to maintain the kind of strict boundaries that protect you from being overly influenced by other people. It's what keeps you in close touch with your intuition. But for the foreseeable future, I think you'll thrive on the unexpected blessings that come from giving yourself to the intelligence of the crowd.

But we'll stay...

Goddamn, my life is good.

FACT: I am so lonely.

I love everything about you that hurts

I will stay here, with you, my love...

The rain has slowed to a quiet drizzle, but it was storming something fierce earlier. The thunder shook us so hard that my car alarm went off.

The Second Gleam is always a satisfying listen.

Check out the Felice Brothers next time you're bored.

Sometimes I dream I'm driving down an old dirt road...

Last week Jonathan scared the bejesus out of me in the Dollar General. I knew that he was down South, but I thought he was in Gulf Shores. Apparently, this was part of a fiendish plan crafted weeks ago by one Miss Jessica Hyde.

"She knows I'm at the beach! What do I do?!"
"...tell her you're at a different beach."

He was actually staying in Destin with his mother and sister! He and Jessica were text messaging, and they orchestrated a brilliant maneuver in which Jonathan stood creepily close to me and I just about ran over him. We hung out that day and drank a little a saw his hotel room and played Trivial Pursuit! I think that was Wednesday.

Friday afternoon (I think), Chelsea and Noreese got in town. They (and Amanda) went to eat while Jessica and I visited the Red Door (the Barn Door? Something like that...) for a few free drinks and met up with Jonathan. The girls joined us later, and we chatted it up on the porch for a while before heading home. Chelsea and Noreese were in Amanda's room, Amanda was in my room, Jonathan fell asleep on the couch, and Jessica and I went to bed in her room.

When I fell asleep, Jessica was in the bed. When I woke, Jeff was in the bed! This may have been one of the most surreal moments in my entire life. I kinda freaked out a little inside and couldn't quite make everything fit in my head the way should have. I walked to living room, seeing a pallet with what I assumed was Jessica and Jonathan, but it turned out to be Jessica and Lance! Apparently, Jonathan was only phase one of Operation Best Surprise Ever.

Noreese made pancakes and sausage for everyone, and then we all headed to the beach in Seaside. I must say, we make a hot crowd. Jonathan and Noreese and I even ventured into the ocean! I took a walk with the boys and later we took some silly pictures before heading to Publix and then home. for dinner. Jessica and Amanda made up the hamburgers while I fired up the grill. We did burgers and hot dogs and made up a ghetto game of beer pong in the backyard. Later... many beers later... we went inside and played some Captain Dickhead and later Pick-up Lines.

Sunday everyone went home. While I was sad to see them leave, it was kinda nice to have the house quiet again. I think we all three spent ungodly amounts of time in our own rooms just enjoying having three people in the house instead of eight.

Let's see... other stuff happened this week, I'm sure, but let's jump to today...

Jessica and I went to the beach to fly a kite, but we were wildly unsuccessful. All Raphael wanted to do was spin in ridiculous circles and occasional dive bomb one of us. Later we drove around, exploring a little, and then we went to Winn Dixie to get stuff for dinner!

Tonight we grilled kabobs (chicken, mushrooms, onions, bell peppers, bacon, squash, zucchini) and had a cake with whipped cream! If you're thinking that we are the coolest three people in the world right about now, then you are correct.

Jessica and I played a little frisbee in the backyard, then we all three came in to eat and watch the telly. Amanda headed to bed and Jessica and I played a round of Trivial Pursuit (which seems to have become somewhat of a nighttime ritual) and then we went to bed, too. And by went to bed, I mean here I am, Reader, with you.

I like driving backwards in the fog...

Things That Make Me Feel Like a Grown-up, In a Good Way
~ a well-stocked medicine cabinet
~ feeding people on short notice
~ having guests spend the night
~ lighting candles
~ parking decks
~ calling my grandmothers

Things That Make Me Feel Like a Kid, In a Good Way
~ cheese and mustard sandwiches
~ playing with kids
~ having my hair done
~ lighting matches
~ diving boards
~ drinking out of funny straws

Updateyness.

Have I ever told you that I'm a little in love with Michael Landon?

Well, it's time you knew. Bonanza, Little House, even Highway to Heaven... all of them are worth watching. Bonanza's my favorite show overall, although Pa in Little House is my favorite character. I've never actually watched Highway to Heaven, but I still highly recommend it.

Hey, I'm in Florifreakinda. Saturday my parentals followed me down with a truck load o' my stuff. We unloaded that evening and then went to grocery shopping, then off to P.F. Chang's (along with Jessica). Dinner was nice. They like the new house and played with the animals a lot. Sunday morning we went to Fort Walton to look for a mattress, then ate at the Crab Trap. They left that afternoon, which was really sad. I miss them a lot already. I guess I miss them, but I also miss their nearness, and having the option of going to see them whenever I wanted. The same goes for my friends... I miss you a lot already.

On the bright side, I love my new house! It's bright and happy and yellow inside. My roommates are great. Duh. I'm still jobless, but I've gotten some applications to turn in tomorrow and a few people who have suggested sending in my resume in case they start hiring soon. Tomorrow Jessica and I are going to explore the city and check out the local museums to see if they're hiring. Friday Amanda and I are going to get some sun! I can't wait!

I'm almost all unpacked. We were unsuccessful in our mattress search, so that's something I've still got to get. For now I've got a single mattress chilling on my queen frame, so it's like sleeping with a moat around me. I like that.

Our little pony-tailed girl, grown up to be a woman, and she's gone in the blink of an eye...

I took my car in to the shop. (Directions from Dad: Go to Columbia, by the railroad tracks. Go half a block, turn between the big brown garages. There's no sign. Go to the back door. Ask for Ronnie.) We got repairs done to the body, which, having survived the sixteenth birthdays of four children, was a bit banged up. It's lookin' pretty chic now, although the inside smells like turpentine. Yum.

My hair is blue; the day of dying was a really fantastic day. Jessica came over that morning, and throughout the day different people were in and out of the apartment (like O'Brian, Jeff, Jonathan, and Meagan (and Abby)) while we bleached and blued me. That night, Jessica, Meagan, Rachel, Erin, Melody, and I went to Tuscaloosa for Blue Two! We started the night with Candyland and ended it on mushy couches. Meagan and I played some serious beer pong, and I think I got to second base with Jessica. Lindsey was a glitter princess, which isn't to much different than Lindsey on a regular basis. I spent some quality time with Ryan, got to see Elizabeth and Nathan and Melissa, and even got to hang out with Boyd there at the end (long past when I should have been around people).

This is really one of those posts where I'm just saying things as they pop into my mind.

Vagina!

No, seriously. Vagina Monologues is over! The show went well; the cast was fantastic! I'm bummed we didn't get a cast picture. The first night we had some technical difficulties, but they were all fixed by Thursday. Difficulties or not, everyone performed well and we had a good audience both nights. O'Brian did Vagina Security Wednesday, and my parents came to the show. Thursday Jeff, Meagan, and Brittany (super exciting!) came to see it, as well as Kari.

Last weekend I went to a memorial service for Grammer at Britni's house. I got there really late, coming in to hear a family friend singing Amazing Grace. I stood with Mark and Lance and Britni in the back, listening to the music and the kind words people had to say. There was food and sweet talk and nice memories. Later I got to watch a video with just the family, which made me feel very special. She was a really important person, and I don't think I'll ever be able to remember the college years without her coming to mind.

From there I traveled down to Santa Rosa to unpack a carload of (mostly) clothing! I spent Sunday doing laundry and putting it away, as well as spending some quality time with the animals. Monday morning Jessica and I went out and about, getting keys made and picking up a few things. I finished up laundry, hung out with Amanda some, then headed home. I think it was a very good thing to be there over the weekend; it helped me become more excited about the move, instead of just sad and anxious.

The last couple days have all been spend packing and cleaning and doing laundry. I may have been bitten by a brown recluse a few minutes ago. 90% sure it was a recluse. Only 10% worried that it bit me. I'll keep you updated.

And now, I must say goodbye, at least temporarily. I'm headed to Birmingham tonight, and I'll complete the journey tomorrow morning. I don't know how long before we'll have internet, but I will try to remember each adventure. I love you so much.

You ain't gotta downgrade; you can get what I get...

"You Can Have Whatever You Like"

I love this song.

The end.

Dark and lonely is the ride, the devil always by my side...

Today was such a good day!

Jeff woke me up crazy early to have breakfast... maybe that wasn't so amusing at the time, but it's funny in retrospect, right? Right. He left for work and I went back to sleep until O'Brian called to wake me around 10:30. He called four times, but instead of waking me up I just kept incorporating the theme song to the Fresh Prince-- his ring tone-- into my dreams. I was chasing the beagles, and it just kept playing over and over again on the radio. Finally I really did wake up, let him in, and began the day.

We got about halfway through an episode of The L Word before the power went off. It was pretty windy, but the rain had mostly stopped by this point. I texted Jonathan, and soon we were at his place snacking on Nutella and finishing our show. We left after a bit and came back to the apartment, where we watched a few more episodes. Jeff came home for lunch and I made spinach and mushroom alfredo pasta. Delicious!

Jeff left again and O'Biz and I went decided to go to Diebert and enjoy what had become a beautiful day! We attempted to fly a kite, with limited success. By limited, I mean the string sliced my finger open and the actual kite spent more time nose-deep in the ground than in the sky. Failing at kite flying, we walked for maybe twenty minutes and then laid in the grass and read some.

Home again, and we watched the finale episode of the season we'd been following. The series was sad today, but the weather was nice and the company excellent. Jeff had returned home, and after O'Brian left we watched the last two episodes of Avatar, a Nickelodeon series we started watching like two years ago. It was pretty great, and a nice break from the intensity of The L Word.

Other things of note: Vagina Monologues are coming up, I hung out with Christian the other day, and Jonathan and I got two a.m. Tourway a couple nights ago.

The move is coming up soon, and I'm scared out of my wits and more excited than I've been in a long time!!!

You are beautiful and peaceful this way...

TO LEON WORTH

I ask the forebearance of the children who may
read this book for dedicating it to a grown-up.
My first and most serious reason is that he
is the best friend I have in the world.
My second reason is that this grown-up
understand everything, even books about children.
And my third reason is that he lives in France
where is is hungry and cold.
He needs cheering up.
If all these reasons are not enough,
I will dedicate the book to the little boy
from whom this grown-up grew.
All grown-ups were children once --
although few of them remember it.
And so I correct my dedication:

TO LEON WORTH
WHEN HE WAS A LITTLE BOY

I may not always love you, but long as there are stars above you...

Well well well.

I move in about a month. This past weekend I went to Destin to visit Jessica and Amanda and look at a home, which we have decided to rent! It's in Santa Rosa, and it's a three bedroom in the back of neighborhood. My room has a four poster antique bed, which they are going to leave, as well as a desk with shelf space. Jessica has a dresser I can use, which cuts down my moving cost and effort a good bit. I'm excited and anxious. It's definitely getting time for a move, and I'm going to be in warmer climates and by the beach, and living with Jessica, and having pets again! I'm worried about finding work that is fulfilling, about money, about being so far from my parents and sisters and brother and friends!

Let's see... I'm not directing the Vagina Monologues, which is a pretty major bummer. It's something I've been talking about for months now, and most of you knew about it. Anyway, turns out that since I graduated I can't help direct. I think the play will still be fine, of course, but it's hard to wrap my head around being in a different role. I also think I'm a better director than I am at being on stage, and I have more experience with that (even it's still not much). The cast is fantastic, of course. I have seriously considered quitting and just going on with the move right this moment, but I don't want to give up that time with my friends here.

When I was in Destin, we (me, Jessica, Amanda, and Chelsea) went to a Civil War re-enactment. We had a very nice picnic and then watched the skirmish. It was very cool and very loud. We saw a woman making a cathedral quilt; I'm now attempting to make one myself, with limited success. I'll show you pictures when it's finished. I'll be honest, it may end up being a cathedral pillow instead.

I have my phone back, but the screen is messing up. It did this some when I was using Meagan phone, so I think it might be a problem with my sim card and not the actual phone. I can still get calls and dial out (usually), but sometimes I can't read texts or actually see to figure out who I'm calling if I don't know the number by heart.

I've done about a million loads of laundry this week, though my room still looks disasterous. It's a big part of packing, though, so hurray for being somewhat productive!

Well, good God damn and other such phrases...

I've been going through some severe musical addictions recently.

First, Dan le Sac and Scroobius Pip. They are a British hip-hop duo, I suppose. I think Pip used to be a slam poet. This is the first song I heard; these two are my other favorites.

Next is was Ingrid Michaelson, who is featured on several commercials. The jingle that ran on the telly is still the best, although I love her other stuff, too.

My current love is Kate Nash, who has escaped my computer and has blasted through my car speakers. She is bitter and beautiful.

Keep it loose, keep it tight,

Your eyes are beating rhythms way faster than the speeding bullet that took the life of your radio.

abut test that thing whee you'e spposed tbe able to putthings in anyorer, and yo can till rea , Iuss hts if teare t least rupd ithin he se wordhu? refodong ts venew ting here eyh I tupejust es on any oorer it was o. Like, me te to ocme trace isead Grace. Bzzare, in'it? tsifotnG uosdnan ymttnd dli tumoc ygnitrewh ylolihi si xiF h ,matweogaa yh'ateg lleW ?mehtdsud ourrew owoH

Come January, we're frozen inside...

Room for Squares is such a good album. I've been re-visiting it, and it still fits me like a charm, despite the holiday casseroles and gallons of eggnog. Somethings never change.

Most things do, though. Consider yourself warned.

You know, sometimes I forget why I feel things, even when I don't forget why I feel them. I forgot why I loved Christmas until I was right smack dab in the middle of it, then it hit me like a ton of bricks, or a ton of pine needles and wrapping paper, and my heart almost burst with love. I spent New Year's Eve with my family, of course. We got Mom a new kitten; his name is Moz (short for Mozart). Potato soup, I love thee with the fiery heat of a thousand suns.

We had an early brunch at my grandmother's house Christmas morning, and I worked that afternoon. I hung out with the cousins the next day. It's amazing how cool they've all turned out to be. I wish they all were my next door neighbors. I spent one night out there hanging out and playing tiddlywinks with Nancy. The next day I took Morgan and David to see Marley and Me. It was good, although you should be prepared to cry at the end (which I was). The next morning Morgan and I had brunch together, which was really special and fun.

I went to Birmingham at some point. Maybe that was late on the 26th? I went down late after playing some Scatagories with Lindsey, Graham, Meagan, Moonie, and Katie. I arrived at one-ish, and when to bed shortly after, cuddled up with Jessica and Lance.

You should check your rage at the door. A little jealousy is to be expected, but that is excessive. I'm sure they will sleep with you, too, if you ask nicely.

J-money left early early that morning, and Lance, Jeff, and I went to the Browns to have breakfast with Lance's parents and Ms. Britni Marks. It was so good to see Lance's mom again; I haven't seen in her in a year or more. After that Lance and I followed Britni to her house, where we saw Mark for a hot minute before he had to leave; we also visited with Grammar and Britni's mother. We were going to go to the park, but clouds came a'rolling in while we were inside, so we decided to play in the backyard instead (with Odin and Lucky). Then Lance and I went back to his apartment, I think, and then I went to meet Jeff and James and Chris at Panera Bread.

Sitting at a table with three hot boys can be very intimidating; I felt like I was on one of those MTV dating shows. Weird. Later we were joined by Alice, Ricky, and Justin. It was a nice meal. Jeff and I left for Darren's; I stopped in to say hello and then was off again, back to Florence.

Oh, and this is when I lost my phone. By the by, it has been found again. It was in my boot in Lance's apartment. I just got it back and it is charging right this very minute.

Time time time...

Oh!

New Year's Eve. I was pretty wishy-washy about my plans. I thought I had to work on the 31st, but turns out I was scheduled for the first. I had a really wonderful dinner with my parents and Graham, and then I intended to go to Birmingham. I stopped at my apartment to grab my license (which I couldn't even find at the time, although I have found it since), locked the door, and promptly shut my keys in the trunk of my car. Unable to get into my car or apartment, and still not having a phone, I knocked upon my neighbor's door, borrowed a phone, and watched twenty minutes of the latest Superman movie while Graham brought a key.

Graham said I should probably just stay home, which I did. It was a very subdued but nice way to bring in the New Year. Meagan was an hour later in her celebration; I think this is the first time one of us has been in a different time zone at midnight. Strange. Mom crashed early, so Dad and Graham and I toasted her and called Meg and Lindsey and shot the rifle and blitzed the Boulevard with firecrackers galore.

I worked New Year's Day, and one of my clients went a little crazy. It was a stressful day, but I handled things pretty well. Hopefully it was not a harbinger of 2009.

Yesterday-- which I am sorely tempted to call today, seeing as I am still awake-- was a bit lazy, but in a nice way. I slept late, then met Jeff for lunch at Wok and Roll. We came home and played on googlemaps, later heading to my parents' house for dinner. We mostly talked to Mom and played with Abby and Moz. Now it is so late that it's early, and I'm going to catch some Z's before work this afternoon. I'll be there 2-10 tonight and I work a double tomorrow (6am-10pm). I'll be in touch.

The whole wide world feels like a shrine built to the worker bees...

Things of note, occurring since Friday evening:

I graduated with a degree in English and a minor in Women's Studies. Lance and O'Brian and Jeff came to my graduation, as did my parents, Meagan, Graham, and Moonie. Afterward we stopped by the Florence Poetry Slam and then headed to Park Blvd. for pizza and cokes and some surprise champagne. We stood around the fire under the full moon and Graham shot some bottle rockets and Jonathan stopped by for a bit. I got to sleep between Lance and Jeff, and it was so nice and cozy and safe and warm.

Saturday morning Lance and Jeff and I had breakfast before Lance and I headed to my parents' to get some of my laundry and then to meet Lindsey and Alex in Birmingham. From there we drove up to WInchester, Virginia, where we got a hotel, got some sleep, and enjoyed a really nice simple breakfast. We drove to New Jersey, which, as far as states go, ranks fairly low (based on our short time there). We ate dinner with a family friend of Alex's family, who then took us to the train station.

We took the train into New York City and met Josh!!!

So far, I have been pushed out of the way of a garbage truck who was not paying attention by a construction worker with a very exciting accent, I have bought fruit and bread at the Union Square market, I have watched a video at the Church of Scientology, I have skated at Central Park, I have played in the snow, I have eaten some delicious hot dogs, I have had coffee at various digs, I have ridding the subway a lot, I have been happy.

I wish you were here. :)

Say goodnight and go...

I am headed to NYC.

I will be back in a week for the Special Session Christmas party.

I will see you then.

This video made me really really really happy.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Happy ever after in the market place, Desmond lets the children lend a hand...

A couple weekends ago I went to Fall Fling at Camp. It was fifth and sixth graders, and it wasn't entirely planned. Remind me next time not to show a slight interest in an event unless I'm ready to commit fully to participating. ;) It was worth it, though. That's generally my least favorite age group, but my girls were great and I'd had half of my cabin in my summer camp cabin or in small group. Anything run by Margaret Warren is worth going to as well; I don't even know her well, but she is really quirky and fun. Most of the volunteers were the people I like hanging out with most, anyway, and it was nice to see Michael. The weather was dreadful and I had to leave early because of work. I was a little too uptight and less fun than I can be; thank you, school work.

Anyway, just wanted to make mention of that. Then the next weekend, if I remember correctly, was the wedding! Wow oh wow. Weddings at Camp McDowell should happen more often. Anne and Blake tied the knot, and it was a privilege to be there. Sometimes you find out your old classmates and friends are engaged, and the thought you have is "Hmm, wonder how long that will last?" Not so with Anne and Blake; they're obviously perfect for each other. I don't know any other couples where that is so evident. So, I roomed with Jen the first night and the Lindsey and Lauren came the next night. Friday we spent some time at the campfire and playing some flipcups and beer pong and Captain Dickhead, and I had the most fun I've had in a loooong time. It's so nice to be surrounded by people you love in a place you love celebrating the sacrament of love.

You know, I could go on and on about that weekend, but I think that's all I really want to say.

Let's see... at some point--maybe the Thursday before the wedding?--Jeff and I went to Birmingham to have a ridiculous irrational dinner. Jeff got off work and we hit the road, meeting our people at Moe's. The timing was wonderful; James was there, and then us, and Lance and Tyler, and Darren, and Jess. Afterwards Jeff and I went to the mall with Darren to help pack up his store, and then it was home again, and up bright and early the next morning for school and work!

Right now, I'm at my friend Jen's new house; she's at a job interview, so I am entertaining myself here, with you, Reader. I hope all is more than well.