It's not my fault if you get wierded out.

I was watching Rachel Maddow and Geraldine Ferraro on MSNBC this morning speaking on gender issues and how they played into the presidential race. Maddow mentioned the incident pictured above, in which two men raised these signs and chanted during one of Senator Clinton's rallies. I'm not the most politcally aware person out there, but I keep fairly good tabs on current events; I hadn't heard about this until today. I looked for the story afterwards, finally finding a Fox report on it. Most of the hits were about the same sign being held at a golf protest. Maddow asked how the audience would have reacted had two men help up a sign that read "Shine My Shoes" at one of Obama's events.

Wow.

I'd actually just been thinking about that after a recent A Softer World comic which I believe addresses the same issue. (The comic touches on gender roles and stereotypes rather frequently*, as if I didn't have enough reasons to love it.) Personally, I don't support Clinton. While I find her charismatic, I am more interested in the things Obama has to say. However, I do not want him to win because Clinton has been criticized constantly and consistently for being either too manly (ie, assertive, well-spoken, successful) or too emotional (ie, feminine (and a stereotype that may harm men even more than it does women)). This is similar to voting for Obama simply because he's black. While I am thrilled to be a part of what will hopefully be the first black president, I want him to win because most of the country comes together to support the ideas he presents. I don't want his win to be tarnished by claims of victory for blacks in America or whatever else the headlines may read. His election would be a victory for all of us, both because of his ideals and ideas which may help our country and because of his status as a minority.

I've sidetracked to race, however, which is an entirely different kettle of fish (or is it, considering the average black family consists of a mother and her children? Some day soon...). The two are certainly bedmates, however, when it comes to accepted discrimination. Everyone of of us comes from a background of degredation and humiliation, whether it was because of a family's race, religion, nationality, or social status. While black enslavement has been one of the most recent shames in our troubled human history, it is still just one of many plights we have inflicted on each other. Today, passive aggressive racism is still very present though not condoned. Women, however, are still widely regarded as second class citizens, and I'm talking here in our own backyard, folks.

I'm not sure how to change things, though I think the first step is awareness, so I hope this has been somewhat enlightening. Mostly right now, I just hope that my daughters never want those popular shirts that say "Future First Lady."

I have much to tell you soon, dear Reader.

*Here are some others that I feel address related issues:
I used to want to plant bombs, the night of the prom.
serious inquiries only
She's never too tired.
nice girls don't
well, and playing with myself a bit too.
I contain a factory for producing my own prison.
any sufficiently complex system is hackable
Fuck this coy shit.

Heap on wood, kindle the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned.

Yep... that title is a quote from God. It sounds more like something from Titus Andronicus.

Moving on- I'm starting a spice garden! Today I got rosemary, basil, and fennel. I'll probably go back and get oregano and parsley as well, but I'd like to see how these do first. I'm so excited! Morbidly enough, I got the itch to finally start this little project (which I've been thinking about for a while) after watching Rosemary's Baby last week. The witches have a spice garden. Also last week we watched Angela's Ashes, which was about as depressing as the book (and pretty good except for being so long and gray).

It doesn't make sense to pay four dollars for dried spices when the plant costs 3, provides, fresh herbs, smells lovely, and provides an endless supply of the product. I got them with Mom today; I spent the night here at the house last night and then went out with her on errands (which included flower shopping). Oh, I also got a cutting board today!

In other cooking news... I've been working on a chocolate souffle! I've done three in the last two days, trying to get it just right. I'm going to make one for Mother's Birthiversary Day.

I'm going to finish this book I've been reading called On the Prowl. It's got short stories buy Patricia Briggs (I love everything she does), Eileen Wilks (whose story I am enjoy immensely), Karen Chance and Sunn (I haven't gotten to their stories yet). Good day!

You can't disappoint me, because whatever you are is exactly what I want.

I have discovered something about myself thanks to the Grammar class I had this semester. I'm still trying to figure out how I made a college course entirely devoted to sentence structure relate to my life, but did it I did. (Analyze THAT!)

I've struggled for a while to reconcile two sides of my nature. Part of me is compulsive-- the part that only likes to walk on bricks pathways and who doesn't like the television volume to be on an odd number (unless it's a multiple of five) and who WILL NOT drink milk past the sell-by date. Part of me is disaster-- the part who goes on spontaneous road trips and plans last minute picnics and never wears matching socks.

Well, here's what I discovered: I like boxes. I like things to have labels, a place to go, a category in which to fit. BUT I like when things escape those boxes. I like knowing that things have a category they have chosen to abandon, rather than thinking they are worldly misfits. I guess this doesn't make sense. I like it, though.

I thank God tonight for the light I got in music...

I'm getting kinda tired of this campaign game. I really like this quote from Obama: "You have a real choice in this election. Either Democrat would be better than John McCain – and all three of us would be better than George Bush." I know he's said before than electing McCain would be like four more years of Georgie, but at least we'd get a new face. Anyway... go Dem's.

Jeff had work this morning so I came over to the parents' house to visit with Mom before she went to work. Now we're under a tornado warning; Graham fixed me some brown sugar oatmeal and we're watching The Daily Show.

Could you all take a second and listen to this song? It's really beautiful. You don't have to watch the video; it's just done by some kids on youtube. Shareese, I think you'll really enjoy it. Beautiful.

I may still have some stuff due at the Women's Center today, but aside from that I'm finished with this semester. I have summer courses starting on June 3 and ending June 27.

McCain is actually on the Daily Show right now... Jon Stewart is so freaking hilarious. I believe I've expressed before my desire to marry him. Also, McCain is really adorable, but in a Teddy Ruxpin sort of way. I wouldn't trust him.

In my head there's a Grey Hound station where I send my thoughts to far off destinations...

I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes, but if the silence takes you than I hope it takes me, too... so brown eyes, I'll hold you near, cause you're the only song I want to hear-- a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere.

My body is a movie...

I have gotten better at pool; Meaghan might not believe so after the two games we just played, but trust me, I have. :-p She met Graham and I at DPs this evening for some pool shooting fun. Yay!

What's been up... man. Okay. School is almost out. That's good.

I'm working tomorrow from 9am to 10pm. It should be a fun day; I actually have to be up at 6 to take Jeff to work so we can both use the car. Oh, and my client that was sick is now better,although another client is currently unwell, so if you've got a moment send a prayer to her... I can't tell you the name, but God will know who you mean.

I had a really fun time at work last Friday. I only had one client, and he and I spent most of the day at the park before going to Wal-mart to get stuff for an apple pie. I saw Karen there. It was kinda surreal. I kinda think of her every day. It is very hard for me to accept the demise of a friendship. The slow fade of love, perhaps, but an end to which I have not consented bothers me horribly. She was with her dad, I suppose, and I was with my client. Anyway, I got my client home and watching a movie and then I stepped outside for a good cry.

In other depressing news... Bo's missing again. As of tomorrow morning he'll have been gone for two weeks. I've had about three good long cries about him, but I think the lack of finality in a disappearance is keeping me from mourning as he deserves and as I need to move on.

In good news... most of my family went to Tuscaloosa Tuesday night to see Lindsey's documentary! It was fantastic, as were all of the shows. Jeff and I left that afternoon and picked up Meagan and Moonie in Birmingham, then we met Mom and Dad there. Afterward we (sans Lindsey, who was celebrating with her classmates at one of the local pubs) ate at this lovely Italian restaurant where (apparently) Chris Cook works! Chris is one of my favorite people in the world, so it was, as one might imagine, a fantastic surprise.

I've been through a lot of phone havoc recently, but I think I'm semi-set now. Still no internet at the apartment. Boo.

As fickle as these streets are, they might not even wait around 'till then...

Wellllll... here are some things.

One of my clients is in the hospital, so keep her in your prayers. I've been spending a good bit of time there, and at work in general.

I'm trying to get in hours at the Women's Center; we're selling cupcakes Thursday. Come visit!

Friday night! I went to the circus with work, which was mostly fun and a little disasterous. Afterwards I was crampy and tired, but we had party plans so I pepped up. Actually, I didn't think I was going to have fun at all, but it's hard to be sad around my friends. I got to my parents' house (they were in Virginia this past weekend for Aunt Marie's birthday) and they were already there. Jessica was in town (yay!), and Jeff and T.J. and Graham were there with chips and such. Meaghan and Nick came after a while and we played beer pong and cards and pretty much had a whale of a time.

Speaking of... have you ever seen "Mozart and the Whale"? It's got Josh Hartnet and he's a guy with Asperger's who starts a support group and also falls in love. I really enjoyed it; if there's a book, I would like to read it. I don't think there is, though.

I have finished Eat, Love, Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert, and I must say, it was magnificant. She is fun to read and has some amazing insight (made all the more enjoyable by the journeys she's taken to reach enlightenment). I hope you all ready it.... I was going to make a list of people who would really get it, but I think you would all get something out of it. Anyway, I'll probably be blabbing about it especially to those individuals I think would most appreciate it.

Saturday after work Jonathan and I met Jessica at the Sheffield rec. where Jeff was working, where we visited with himand then shot some pool before we all headed to the Blvd. again. Meaghan came over and we all played some Wii! It was amazing. Meaghan and Jessica went home and Jeff and Jonathan and I spent the night here.

Bo has been missing for a couple days. He's been missing once or twice before and turned up later... I hope that's the case this time. I've looked everywhere I can think of (as have my parents and brother). I guess now we just pray.

After class and some time at the Women's Center today I went back to the apartment and then Jeff and I went to TVA. He ran while I walked one of the trails... I noticed an opening into the woods I hadn't seen before, so I took that. I meandered around the forest, founds some water to dip my toes in, passed a dead snake, and was eventually spit out on a road. I followed that until it intersected the running trail, which I took back to my car. I called Thomas while I waited on Jeff; we were still talking when Jeff returned and he and I walked another mile or so. Thomas is great; it was really nice to talk to him. We left there to run by the store for buns and such for the bbq Mom brought home from VA; we watched NCIS and ate with my parents. It was nice.

Also really nice was getting to see Tammy today, who I haven't gotten to hang out with recently. Brittany, who is in a couple classes with me, is also cool times 12. I would really like to keep in touch with her after this semester.

Ohhh, Jeff and I went to visit Eric last night. We brought chocolate brownie ice cream and sat on the porch and just talked for a couple hours. It was amazing. You know, there are a lot of good people in this world. I hope you realize this.

But none of them were home inside their catacombs!

This is how it works-
You're young until you're not!
You love until you don't!
You try until you can't!
You laugh until you cry!
You cry until you laugh!
And everyone must breathe until their dying breath...

You bear God within you, poor wretch, and know it not.

So, it's been raining cats and dogs this morning, but I find it strangely refreshing. I'm enjoying my first day off in a couple weeks. I went to work with Jeff this morning at around 6:30; we grabbed some McDonald's breakfast and headed to the pool. I left Jeff there after a bit and went to the Blvd. to say hello to the folks before they left for work. I played with Abby and Bo some and spent a few hours watching Golden Girls, Spin City, Frasier, a new Dolly Parton video, and a sprinkling of America's Next Top Model. I also watched part of a History Channel program on gun exhibitionists which was quite interesting; apparently it's guns all day on channel 42, as later (after picking Jeff up) we watched a special on snipers, after which aired a show just on the M16.

Now we're at the apartment and Jeff is showering before we go snag some Mexican food, then I'm heading back to Sheffield to spend the afternoon with the fam.

I've been reading Eat, Pray, Love, and I am impressed. It's fantastic, and it's broken into manageable little pieces that I really enjoy. It's making me want to travel, though. My oh my, but I want to live in Italy. I'm also making my way slowly through Schoolgirls, which is good, though it's a lot of information to process. I recently read a couple romance novels; they were okay, I suppose. One actually had a really interesting plot line- by the halfway point of the book I just started skipping the monotonous sex scenes all together. I've read four romances now (well... I'm in the middle of two and I've finished two), and I have to say, they are all pretty awful.

Now, I'm not one to be picky about sexual preferences. And, as many of you know, I'm a sucker for the knight in shining armor type. I even like the rough and tumble kinda boys, the ones who do what they want and are bossy and protective and all that jazz... to an extent. These books all have these hopeless/helpless women who resist the men throughout the book, always giving into their lust at the last minute (about halfway through his rape of her, usually). Geezus. It makes me angry. I'm not going to read any more of these any time soon.

I've been working a lot... we spent an amazing afternoon at the park Wednesday, and we attended a Special Olympics Banquet Tuesday (where we say Elvis and Garth Brooks!). And the day before that, we celebrated Meaghan's birthday!!! We did dessert first with chocolate fondue (dipping angel food cake and strawberries). Then we had a Mexican Mash (a recipe I got recently at camp). Meaghan was there, of course, as well as Jeff, O'Brian, Jarmel, and Edward. We missed the rest of you a lot. Anyway, it's time for me to get some grub... oh, and I hope everyone is having a killer time in New Orleans. Love!

Happy yesterday to all-- we were born to die!

I like my new job. I don't love my new job, but I like it. I love the clients I work with. I'm not sure how I feel about the company or a couple co-workers, but overall things are pretty good. It's... well, it's kinda stressful. Sometimes the environment can be volatile, and things can switch directions so quickly that there's a constant worried voice in the back of my head. Mostly, though, we have a lot of fun.

School is okay. I have a test Tuesday in Minor's class and I really need to catch up on some grammar stuff, but mostly it's okay. I need a million hours at the Women's Center. Hey, I'm running a fund-raiser for Africa this month, but more on that later. I was supposed to go to New Orleans this weekend, but I can't. It's very sad. I can't take off work because I've taken off so much with all my recent sickness (not to mention having to pay for doctor's visits and medicine while not making money). I was looking forward to crazy bonding with the ladies from the WC, not to mention helping a great cause. Shittiest thing? I just got a new boss making a new schedule, and I'm scheduled to be off Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (and she said I would probably stop working Sundays as well). This sucks because (a) I need the hours/money and (b) if I'm not working, I should be in Louisiana!

Umm... illness update. Staph infection gone; UTI here. After almost of full week of enjoying almost full health, I headed to a work meeting Monday feeling slightly off kilter. At 2 I was on my way to work, and I had a temp of 99; still, nothing big. I left at 6:30 with 100 degree fever and took some ibuprofen when I got home. It was 101 when I went to class the next day, and almost 102 when I left class halfway into it. Jeff came with me to the doctor's office, where I was told I had a virus and a UTI.

I feel much better now; a lot of people have reacted in a way that implies I should be in a lot of pain, but I'm not. There's only mild discomfort and I get tired quickly.

I'm one pay check away from not having to stress about money. Yay! Also, my Aunt Alice gave me a cookbook called "Cook for a Day Eat for a Month," and a week or so ago I did the two-week plan in there. Our freezer is full of good eats, and so far everything we've tried has been really good. We've had stuffed peppers and lentil soup and chili and spaghetti pie. I'll keep you updated on the other dishes.

Did I even tell you about the fabulous weekend I spent at Camp McDowell? Wow oh wow. It was amazing.

Also, I'm about to buy some viney plants to grow on our little privacy fence in the back yard. Get excited.

But even at our swiftest speed we couldn't break from the concrete...

Hey.

Sometimes I feel like a cup with a tiny hole in the bottom; it's a hole so small you can't even see it. Nothing even drips from the cup-- you only know it's there because there's a wet ring on the table every time you move it. And you keep pouring more and more water in the cup, refilling it every day, thinking it can hold just a little bit more, but really it's full, it's really full and it's floating on a thin membrane of its own offerings, and you still keep checking it, filling it, filling it until clumsy people are afraid to come in the room because they might bump the table and that would be the end of the cup that's too full.

Sometimes I feel this way with good things. Sometimes I feel this way with bad things.

Sometimes I feel like maybe the good things are the cup and the bad things are the water, and the cup's okay because it's got so many layers, and as long as the layers are together they'll keep all the water until it evaporates, until it disappears, or at least until it's manageable again.

Then sometimes you don't like school and you don't like your job and you don't fall in love and you never have money and you keep losing friends and you're always sick and you don't remember how to talk to God and none of the layers are broken but none of the layers are whole.

When that Southern anthem sings it will lay her burdens down...

First things first: Iron and Wine is always good. Always always always.

Second things second: Thank you for all of your prayers, energies, and good wishes! I'm feeling much much much better!

And third things, here, appropriately third: Don't forget that I love you.

And all the styrofoam began to melt away!

Hey. I know I just texted a bunch of you, but here's an lj update.

Thursday afternoon a spot on the left side of my nose began to swell up pretty badly (a cyst, I figured). Friday evening my throat became a little sore and the swelling hadn't gone down. Saturday I woke up and the lymphnodes on the right were swollen. I checked my temperature that afternoon and it was at 100 or so. By that evening it was 102 and the swelling in both places was increasing. Dad took me to Med Plus yesterday (still 102 temp, with ibuprophen every 4 hours). The doctor said the swelling on my face was causing the temperature and sore throat; apparently I have a staph infection. So, I got a shot in my face, then he lanced the swelling. I had blood drawn from my right arm and got a shot on the left side of my rear end. Last night my temperature got up to about 104 and I had chills and couldn't get warm to save my life. When I woke up my throat was throbbing but my temp was down. It's back up to about a 100 right now, so that's not too bad.

It's not as terrible as it sounds; I just don't have the energy to dress this post up with funny asides and light-hearted adjectives. I've been staying at my parents for some TLC. I should be better

So, if an old friend I know drops by to say hello, would I still see suspicion in your eyes?

I stood under the water for a good 45 minutes
Until my hair was matted down my back
And my pretty white breasts were an angry mottled pink.
And still
I cannot
get
warm.

Won't you help a brother out?

I had my first day of work Sunday, and it was fantastic! I'm working for Scope 10, which has several group homes in the area. I'll be working primarily at a house with three women; Nick works at a house right down the street and comes to visit! We watched 16 Candles, went bowling, and spent an hour coloring... talk about a good day!!!

Ohhhh, k. Wednesday Jeff, Jonathan, and I watched the Leo Awards; they were pretty okay. Hey, free shirt! Thursday night O'Brian, Christian, Kevin, and I met Meaghan and Tammy in Tuscumbia to watched some short films; they were really impressive. It was a good event. I decided to spend the night at my parents' house on impulse, which was nice. They've replaced the shower doors in the big bathroom with a curtain though, which is super lame. That afternoon I think I shot pool with Graham and then went home. Saturday we headed back to Sheffield again because Jeff had work and Graham and I went back to DPs, where Tammy and Lindsay came to shoot for a while. I picked up Jeff at some point, who joined us. Later Tammy and Lindsay left and then Mom got there, then Jeff and I went to pick up Meagan and Moonie and bring them back to the bar, and then Dad met us, and BAM! The most of the Mullen Family was hustling at the pool hall. It was a lot of fun (but we missed you, Lindsey).

Speaking of Lindsey! She's totally going to Guatamala for her Spring Break. wa-POW!

Anyway... Sunday, worked 10-6, Monday, worked 6-10, today had med class from 9-12 and school from 12:30-3:15. The rest of the week... looks like orientation tomorrow from 8-4, CPR re-cert. and class Thursday, med class, work, and poetry slam Friday, work and Eve Ensler Saturday.

I was supposed to hang out with Little Jessica today, but she forgot and went to a friend's house. Hopefully the weather will be pretty Sunday and we can hang out at the park. Hey, we got a little snow this week... I wish we'd get a really really big snow. I'm also ready for summer. Oh, and they finally fixed out carpet this afternoon. Woo!

Here is a poem. It is a work in progress.

I was going to make you dinner.
I was going to make you dinner because I know you had a long day, and because you're tired, and because I love you.
I was going to make you dinner... but I didn't.
I didn't make you dinner because I remembered that it's the 21st century, and women don't belong in kitchen.
Never mind the fact that I like to cook.
I didn't make you dinner because then you might expect me to make you dinner tomorrow, and I might not want to make dinner tomorrow.
I didn't make you dinner because I couldn't figure out whether it was what I wanted to do for you or what society wanted me to want to do for you.
I wanted to make you dinner, but I didn't.
So I thought maybe we could go out to eat.
But we can't.
I thought maybe we could go out to eat, but then I remember I'm a little short on cash right now.
And I know you would buy me dinner, but then I would feel like I owe you something.
And I know you wouldn't expect anything, but I would feel like I owed you something, and it wouldn't be a coincidence when I felt like going down on you later.
Never mind the fact that I like giving you head almost as much as I like to cook.
And never mind the fact that I might have been in mood anyway.
The point is, men are traditionally the bread winners, and if I let you buy me dinner, I'm re-enforcing that role.
And the point is, women are traditionally responsible for dinner, and if I cook you dinner, I'm re-enforcing that role.
And the point is...

I guess we're both gonna starve before I figure out how to be the domestic feminine goddess I really want to be.

You give me something I need- now tell me I've got something for you...

It comes as a recent realization that good days are as emotionally draining as bad days, just in a different way. As I write that, I realize that it should be common sense, and I suppose, Reader, it's old hat to you, but it's taking me some time to wrap my head around it.

This weekend was draining in both good and bad ways. Jeff and I overslept Friday; he was supposed to be at the pool at 6:45ish, but we rolled in around 7:30. Ouch. I dropped him off and went to pick up Bosco and head to the vet. Our little man is now a boy; he also still has a dislocated hip, and he may have to have the same surgery Bo had. Damn. I left Bosco at the vet and picked up Mickey D's breakfast for Jeff and I and went back to the pool until he got off and we went home. That evening he had work again, so I took him and spent some time with Meagan at the house; she went out and Tammy came over and we headed to DPs, but my parents were leaving. Fastforward: I picked up Jeff and we met Graham, Tammy, Nick, and Meaghan at Sheffield Billiards. Shooting was a lot of fun- I'm even getting better, thanks to the tutalage of my dear brother! That doesn't mean I'm "good" or even "decent," mind you... just better. ;)

Meaghan and Nick spent the night; we stayed up for a while playing card games before hitting the sack. In the morning we were all fired up for a killer breakfast. We were in the middle of making pancakes, eggs, and waffles when I discovered that our storage closet downstairs was flooded. This was only the first of our flood discoveries; turns out they were replacing a water heater in the apt next to ours, which then burst and flooded it and the two neighboring units. Sooo, this means our carpet was completely soaked for half of the living room and both closets were in standing water. All our stuff is on the back porch now; we have to bring it in today because there are supposed to be storms tomorrow.

Now, as miserable as that sounds, Saturday was actually a really nice day. As the maintanence people did their version of cleaning, we finished cooking and headed to the back yard. O'Brian came over and Jeff woke up and the six of us ate breakfast on blankets in the sunshine. Afterwards we broke out the trivial pursuit and Jonathan came to play for a while. Soon the sun shifted and we found ourselves in hte shadows, so we decided to uproot and drive to Diebert Park, where we ate Girl Scout cookies and continued the game before dispersing. Jeff and I headed to Sheffield, he to work and I to DPs to shoot pool with Graham. Loni was there with her boyfriend, so I talked to her for a while. I really like her a lot, so that was nice. I also talked to Melina Bolden, who was there with her boyfriend as well. Melina and I probably talked more Saturday night than we did the entire time we were in high school. I always remember her being really sweet, and she still is.

I know you're dying to here about yesterday, and trust me, I want to tell you, but my fingers are tired and I need a shower. Later, gator!

Oooh a secret mission. I'll take the case!

Well well. I am feeling much better today. Much much better. Still sick, mind you, but compared to yesterday, I'm flying high high high! I'm still achey in my joints and ribs, my stomach is still making angry noise occasionally, and my throat still hurts some, but that's all right now.

In other news... I've been making soundtracks for my past several years. See, I've been keeping this here journal since 2004, I think. So, I took all the titles that were lyrics from songs each year and I'm making a little playlist. It's interesting to see who I was into when; there are certainly concentrations of different artists at different points in my life. Last year included a lot of Avett Brothers; before that the Decemberists dominated; before that was a lot of BNL and much more rap and country that I would have expected.

Other news... Jeff was really sweet this morning. He had work from 6:45 until 10. He woke me when he got back with breakfast and a handful of pills (mmm!). Simple, yes, but a nice way to wake up. My throat was sore this morning, but it was a pleasant distraction. Let's see... tomorrow I think I'll head to Birmingham with my family to see Meagan's last basketball game and to spend some time with my Grandma, who has been in town. Sunday I plan to do nothing. Monday I take the last pill in my Z pack!

At some point next week I need to go to the Health Department and get a TB test. I also get to submit to a urine test for the job I'm hoping to get. Here's hoping I pass that. :-/ I should be clear, though, by now.

Oh, a lot of you have seen the pictures I've been painting. I'm selling those now, so if you're interested let me know. I'm thinking between 2 and 5 bucks will get you anything I've done. Just let me know. :)

You think you're in control?

Well, I think you're crazy....

As my dad would say, I am one sick puppy. I think I've managed to contract both strep throat and the flu at the same time. I've never had the flu before now, and it's been several years since I had strep throat. My immune system, in general, does a good job. I guess this was just vacation week, though, and everything slipped in.

All through December I fought some nasty congestion, finally feeling better around New Year's. For the last week or two I've had some sinus problems and a bit of a head cold (culminating Thursday morning). but I had mostly shaken that off. I'd maintained a bit of a stuffed up nose, but that was about it. Now, Tuesday evening I began to get a soar throat, but I attributed to all the drainage on my throat and the shifting weather. Wednesday morning, however, I woke up with tears on my face from the pain in my throat. I took some Aleve and drank some tea and felt better. I went to a job interview at Scope 10 and Jeff and I watched Life Support at UNA for the AIDS program. I was still feelings alright until later that evening, when my throat began to ache so badly that I began sobbing, which, as you can imagine, didn't help my throat! Seriously... there's a large marble-sized swelling on the back of my left tonsil that looks like a blister. The right side of my throat isn't the least bit inflamed, which I thought was strange.

Sooo, Jeff, being the dear heart that he is, made a late night trip to Wal-mart and came backed armed with lots of pain-relievers, so all last night I was been taking Tylenol and Ibuprofen (alternating every two hours) and gargling salt water every half hour or so. This morning I woke up at 9ish to go to the infirmary, where I got a shot to reduce the swelling and a prescription for a Z-pack. My ribs were hurting, which was strange. Fast forward some: my mom filled my prescription and brought me ice cream; my throat still hurts but not as badly; my everything is sore and my bowels are completely liquid; I'm taking Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Mucinex, and the Z-pack; I'm dehydrated; my temperature has dropped.

Jeff ventured out again for me and got Gatorade and yogurt and soup and Vitamin C tablets and juices. Jess sent me a health food page with a chicken broth recipe that I'm making right now (kinda... I don't have a couple of the ingredients, but I'm just leaving them out... hope it's good anyway). I tired, but I'm not cranky. I've been joking with Jeff a lot about me being sick, mostly because it helps me.

I really don't get sick that often. I mean, I'll get the occasional sniffles, but rarely do I get sick enough that I can't do the things I want/need to do. This is the first time in a long time that I've just wanted to be isolated until I feel better. My stomach hurts now, but I'm going to get some broth. I will feel better in the morning.

I don't know why I felt the need to record all of this. I guess I just wanted it out of my system (mental and physical!).

All those crazy Italians... you don't call them by name.

Well, kids, it has been too long, once again.

   I've been listening to pandora a lot recently.  Song writers amaze me.  There are so many songs out there-- good songs, real songs-- and still they keep coming, new music every day!  It's beautiful!

Soooo... lots has happened, I guess, and though I'm sure to leave out some events, I hope I remember all the high points.

   I went to Birmingham two weekends ago.  Well, I went to Cullman to spend the night with Jeff Thursday, then we traveled to Birmingham the next night for Lance's birthday.  Overall it was a lame birthday celebration, but it was great to see my friends and hang out at Loco's.  Jeff and I went to the club afterwards to see Mr. Christopher Anderson.  He gave me Mardi Gras beads!  It was great to see him.  We also ran into Little Brian!  Overall, a rather tame night at the Quest.  We got home Saturday and I went to babysit at the Tomlinsons; huzzah.

Umm... the Vagina Monologues are over!  I'm really glad I participated; there are some amazing people in the world, and I got to work with a handful of them.  Practices were spiced up with some fantastic finger foods from Susan and Katie, two of our cast members.  Susan also hosted the cast party in her loft above Metropolis Music on Court Street.  Needless to say, it was a steller events.  Thanks to all of you who came to see the show!  O'Brian, Jennifer, Sandy, Grace, Jonathan... amazing!  My parents and grandmothers came on Wednesday night-- whoa!  Yes, both my dear old grandmothers.  I actually think Grandmomma enjoyed it more than Grandma, which is amusing to me.  Anyway, my monologue was Hair, which is relatively tame, so maybe that helped them not go into shock.  Mom and Dad even seemed to enjoy it!  Graham also came to see the performance on Thursday.

   Pratik spent the night at my house that night, and we spent a lot of time together Friday, which was lovely.  I really enjoyed getting to talk and cuddle with him.  We straightened my hair, and it looked fabulous for all of two days before the torrential rains Sunday morning, but we'll get to that, won't we?  Tammy came over later in the afternoon and we painted some and watched Shortbus before they headed home to prepare for the poetry slam (at which they both read later!).  J.T. brought in Stacie Boschma, who was absolutely fabulous.  I wish she'd done a longer set, but she was still fun to watch.  Tammy and Pratik both read as well, plus a few other local talents.  We actually sat around talking for a while afterwards (me, Christian, Tammy, David, Pratik, O'Brian, Meaghan, Nick, and J.T.), which was so nice and calm and perfect.  Later I hung out at Megan's for a bit before heading home.  Oh, also, Jonathan was there, of course, as well as Louise, David, Edward, Sihya, Stephanie, and J.J.

The next afternoon Graham and I head to Tuscaloosa for Lindsey's 21st Smurfday Party!  It was amazing!  Beforehand we grilled; Stephanie came to play, and we had mozerella and spinach stuffed steak.  Yum?  You betcha.  We aslo grilled asparagus and squash.  Everyone wore blue, and they served blue punch and jello shots!  Faces I already knew: Andrew Harris, Alex Cornett, Worth Stewart, Stephanie Baily, Lydia Atkins, Chris Cook, Ryan Spain, Melissa King, Jeff Lollar, Emily Thornton, Austin Kendrick, Andrew W., Genivieve, Turket.  Oh heavens, I don't know why I embarked on this naming list, as I'm sure to forget someone!  I guess I just want to remember your beautiful blue faces forever, and to look back on the journal and smile at the mention of your names.  I also met some beautiful new people, like Marc, Yu, Winston, and Beth.  I think the only not so fun thing about the party was the lack of Meagan; alas, my poor sister was sick.  :(  Oh, that and throwing up on Lindsey's floor.  That wasn't fun either.

   The next morning we made waffles in Lindsey's new Cinderella waffle maker!  They were de-lish.  After the necessary post-party circle chat over breakfast, Graham and I headed home via Birmingham so we could stop in and check on Meagan and Moonie and Abby.  We picked up Jeff in Cullman.  I'm had pretty bad cramps the next day, but it wasn't a bad day overall.  I got to spend it with Jeff, which was nice, because I missed him while he was gone.  We spent yesterday running errands, watching Rules of Attraction, and eating.  It was... well, nice.  Hold on, now I'm having an Eternal Sunshine  moment.

Other little things... I've spent a lot of time at the Women's Center with Tammy and Pratik recently; we've had quite a few really late nights, which has been fun.  I've also spent several evenings at Megan and Spencer's, which has been great.  Umm, Tammy brought me a rose on Valentine's Day, as well some get well stuff, which made me feel very special (even though I was kinda out of it and sick that day).  I've hung out at my parents' a couple times; I enjoy them more than I ever thought possible.  They are amazing.  YOU are amazing, reader!  Hurray!

Good good morning, Sun...

I forgot to tell you, dear Reader, that I went with Christian to visit Beth and her babies in the hospital last week. She's doing a lot better, though keep her in your prayers. Amber and Abigail are still in a little isolated nursery, but we got to see them through the glass. They're like tiny tiny perfect dolls. We also named another set of twins there: Audrey and Ashton. There's also a little premie boy, and we shall call him Austin.

Friday! Friday I went to Ozz with Pratik, Tammy, and Nick; it was, as they say, a blast. Nick and I totally dominated at the pool tables/fumbled our way through a couple games before heading to the dance room to watch the Nine Inch Males perform. (P.S. I'm already looking forward to re-reading this entry and laughing at that years from now.) They were, of course, delicious, as was to be expected. We danced for a while before heading home around 1:30. Sooo, after getting to bed at 3:30ish, I woke bright and early to meet up with Jonathan, Megan, and Katie for Bag Day, woot! I found some exciting skirts and a few other things, including a little picture frame. I chilled at Megan and Spencer's apartment for a little before returning home, then taking Pratik to his apartment, then back to the apartment for nap attempts. I actually had trouble sleeping, despite being so tired, so I didn't sleep during the day but I ended up in bed at seven.

Yesterday O'Brian and I watched some Avatar, then I went to Vagina Monologues practice, then back home O'Brian and I finished the rest of the episodes. I also talked to Jessica for a long time, and I made a weird cornbread loaf; no recipe, but it turned out alright, I think. :)

She poppin, she rollin, she rollin.

Hey kids.

I had this crazy idea at the beginning of the year that maybe I'd write a little something about every day of this year, not necessarily writing everday, but recalling every day with each entry.

Anyway, I thought that would last at least a month, but no such luck. So... what's been going on...

Well, since I last assaulted you with the details of my little life,=, Jeff celebrated his birthday. It was Tuesday the 15th, the same day that Meaghan and I auditioned and got roles in the Vagina Monologues. Afterward we ate at Hannelore's German Restaurant, which was pretty good. It's an adorable little place on Ana Drive. We had a weird little salad, purple cabbage kraut, warm potato salad, and an amazing crusted chicken dish. Then we split homemade carmel apple pie and black forest cake. Yummo!

Jennifer had her birthday the next day, although I wasn't in the Birmingham; Mark also had a birthday on the 28th, if I'm not mistaken. Stay tuned: next month we'll play such birthday classics as Jess, Harris, Lance, Chris, and Lindsey, with guest appearances by Aaron and Tara! It's sure to be a thrilling month.

Meaghan and I have practice ever Sunday for the Monologues, and things are going well. I'm excited about the new friends I'm making. Woo! The whole cast seems fantastic. The Monday following our first practice was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I went with Meaghan and her family (her grandma, brother Ronnie, and cousin Michelle) to Russelville for a celebration. We met at the court house, where the choir sang and some politicians and some preachers... well, they talked. That's what they do best, right? Then we had a mini-march to a local church, where we had an amazing lunch. It was a really great ceremony. It was so neat to walk arm and arm with Meaghan, one of my best friends since we were five years old. It's strange, too, to think that our parents couldn't have done so-- or rather, that they did so, facing the negative backlash, so that we could do so freely. I know sometimes it seems change is slow, but we've made some huge leaps, haven't we?

In other news... O'Brian, Meaghan, and I spent a night in South Carolina with Shareese. Yes, one night and one night only; tickets were selling like hotcakes, sorry to you fine folks at home who missed the show. Seriously, it was quite the spontaneous journey. We left at 6:30ish Friday morning, traveled 7 hours to the lovely Converse Campus, and met our tiny dancer in her dorm room. Later she went to get ready and we three ate at Panera Bread, mmm. We did a little exploring of the campus afterwards, taking silly pictures and tickling the ivories on an out-of-tune piano before attending a brief "opera talk" and finally settling in for the show.

Shareese had the lead role in "Sour Angelica," and I suppose I should tell you how beautiful and perfect she was, but that really goes without saying, doesn't it? So, at the risk of boring you with what you must know in your heart anyway, I'll tell you that Shareese had the entire audience in tears with her performance. I definitely cried; what made me cry was the sad story and the beautiful music., but what kept the eyes streaming was just thinking about how proud I am of you, Shareese.

After the depressingly haunting first opera and a short intermission, we were cheered by the light-hearted Little Red Riding Hood. The lead, a friend of Shareese's named Joseph, was as funny and talented as he was adorable. After a short cold walk back to her dorm, we readied ourselves for bed. Shareese and I had a lovely cuddle, too short lived, before O'Brian, Meaghan, and I had to wake up and head back to the Shoals (around 7, I think). That night I babysat for the Tomlinsons, which was wonderful. After the boys went to bed I watched the first half of Knocked Up, which was really funny, albeit quite vulgar. Man oh man.

Umm... at some point Jonathan and I saw/fell in love with Juno. I attended a poetry slam somewhere in there, featuring the incredible I.Q. I hung out at Meagan's apartment several times. I've been spending a lot of time in the women's center. I like all my classes. I think picked Jeff up from Cullman once or twice. Hmm.

Oh, and last night a bunch of people came here for dinner! Jeff had already left to spend a couple weeks housesitting, but shortly after I was joined by Sihiya, Christian, O'Brian, Katie, Megan, Aaron, Meaghan, and Jonathan! We feasted on stir fry and fruit juice, chocolate chip and fortune cookies, laughter and conversation. We watched the hipster olympics and chatted it up for a bit, then people began to trickle out. O'Brian and Meaghan stayed and we watched Shortbus, followed by a couple episodes of Avatar. Later I talked to Jeff for like three hours before falling asleep.

Today was a good day, despite the rain. Maybe because of it. Who knows?

Just carry yourself back to me unspoiled from across the lonesome sea...

toothpastefordinner.com

Whoah, dear Savior, gonna take my cares away...

Some reflections on today:

Meagan called this morning to tell me about Norris Ricks. He graduated with me from Deshler. I think he's the first person in our class to go. It's left me with a dull achey feeling.

The thing is, I wasn't friends with Norris, not really. I don't think I've seen him since graduation four years ago except maybe in passing at one or another basketball function. And while I grieve for his family, my day to day routine won't be changed... much. It will be altered, though. Norris was a piece of a puzzle that makes up who I am now. He was a part of my daily life for four years, and it's hard to imagine he's gone. All of you, you members of the Deshler High School Class of 2003, you are a part of something bigger; you're supposed to exist infinitely in my social sphere, even if we didn't so much as talk in high school. I'm just supposed to know you're somewhere; that maybe we'll catch up on the class gossip once in a while, hear about your marriages and children and new jobs...

Anyway, I want you all to know that I'm here, waiting on the peripheral, in case you ever need anything.

Norris, you'll probably be missed by more people than you realized.

I like football and porno and books about war.

Sometimes I'm compelled to write journal entries simply because I'm listening to a song or reading a poem or watching a video and some line just sticks out, and I think "That would make a fantastic title." And then, regardless of whether I actually have anything of value to say or not, I get on the computer and prattle on about this and that and the other, but all I'm really wondering is if anyone looked at the title and thought "what the hell?"

Incidentally, they rarely have anything to do with the actual entry; hell, the title of this blog doesn't have anything to do with the entry, which is about titles! Anyway, I don't like football.

Today was spent around the house; I'm halfway through Iron Kissed by Patricia Briggs-- she has quickly wormed her way into my heart. I like everything I've read by her thusfar, and I don't see that pattern changing in the near future. The previous books in the series were Moon Called and Blood Bound about mostly werewolves and vampires (respectively), and the current title is about the fae. Of course, there are elements of everything in each book.

This afternoon Jeff and I went to the bank, Sam's, and Wal-mart before heading to my parents' house. I made a bunch of quiche, although by the time they were done I'd already eaten some of Mom's spaghetti. Mmm. In case you were wondering what kind of quiche I made (and of course you were), I'll tell you:

~ sausage, bell pepper, mushroom, and chive
~ ham and broccoli
~ asparagus and swiss
~ bacon and tomato
~ spinach and romano

If, in addition to your now sated curiousity about the varieties, you are wondering why I decided to make so many eggy concoctions, I'm afraid I don't have an answer.

Abby and Meagan and Moonie left a bit ago; they came over to watch Chasing Amy, a fabulous and funny movie. Micah introduced me to the Jason Smith movies, but I believe it was Brian who first introduced me to this particular volume. It was, of course, a hit. Yay!

Jeff and I have been following two different series, by the by. Death Note we watch with fair regularity, while Ikki Tousan (or whatever the hell it's called) we recently began watching on youtube... it's more for comic relief and it's what-the-fuck? value than any actual visual or mental stimulation, though. Death Note is pretty good, and I'm interested in finishing it soon. In other mindless entertainment news, we have yet to finish the first season of the O.C. (at Lance's behest) or the third season of Nip/Tuck. O'Brian just informed me that he has the third season of Queer as Folk, so that's on the list as well. For someone who doesn't have a telivision, I certainly seem to get my fair share of rot in, don't I?

Oh, and on while we're stumbling our way through the realm of telivision, let me say that I am very interested in getting Any Day Now. I'm not sure if it's even sold, but if and when it comes out, I would like it.

Allow me to backtrack for a moment, too, and say that last night was fantastic and fun; after spending much of the afternoon at the house just chilling, Meagan&co finally showed up, and after getting a bite to eat we (them and me, along with Mom, Dad, and Graham) played an exhilerating game of Cranium. That game is fun always, but especially with my kick-ass family. Graham also did a firework display, where we battled it out with some firecracking hopefuls below the bluff.

In a completely unrelated topic: I need to start recording these daily thoughts before midnight, because I get confused re-reading entries, thinking I've told you about one or another event when, in fact, I have not. Hmm.

For a post about nothing, I sure rambled on...

Tonight I am going to vomit under that couch.

Well, well, blog... we meet again.

Since we last conveened... let's see...

I spent a good deal of the time right after Christmas visiting my family, working, and trying to get over a cold. The 29th was my last day at Bookland; it was supposed to be in the middle of January, but alas, that was not to be. What a screwy company. Oh, well.

I spent the night of the 30th at the Camp McDowell Reunion; there are some amazing people at that place. Oh my my. It was so good to see everyone, though I certainly missed many people as well. Jeff dropped me at camp and then took my car to Birmingham; I bummed a ride with Alex in that direction, which was wonderful. Kanye West and good conversation = a great last day of the year. Jeff and Tyler picked me up and we ran a few errands, including a drive by Walgreens. Later Tyler and I went by Moonie's house to see her and Meagan and Abby before jetting over to Jennifer's apartment for some New Year's Eve festivities! Already there were Jennifer, Jennifer, Thomas, Britni, Mark, O'Brian, Shareese, Meaghan, and Lance (I think... or did you get there after us? Eh...). Is that everyone? I think so. We played half a game of Ring-of-Fire or something, then half a game of Apples to Apples (which I won, suckahs). We had a few sips of champagne as the ball dropped and later played the board game Never Have I Ever. Aside from Meaghan not feeling well the whole night, it was a really great night, and I'm glad I got to ring in the new year with such beautiful friends. I did miss Jessica a lot, as well as some of you other hoodlums that are so important to me.

In the morning I took Shareese to the train station in downtown Birmingham, where we got to deal with the asshole ticketmaster before lunching at sketchy Church's Chicken with Mr. Doesn't-Understand-Social-Cues (although I must still admit, the lunch was delicious), then racing back to make the train a scant 3 minutes before it pulled away. I miss you already, Shareese.

Later that afternoon I went out with Brittany and Jeff to the mall, then back to the apartment, then over to watch a movie with Meagan and Moonie and Abby; we spent the night there after watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith. The next day was spent lounging, watching Thank You For Smoking and half a season of America's Next Top Model on VH1. Aside from venturing out for lunch at P.F. Chang's and an exciting crow incident in the front yard after Meagan left for practice, our day was wonderfully lazy and uneventful.

That night I played Guitar Hero at Tyler's for the first time, and we watched Playing By Heart (we being Tyler, Lance, Jeff, Britni, and me... Mark had been there earlier, too, but had then left again). Amazing movie, of course. Jeff and I spent the night at Britni's house; in the morning we brought Lance Starbucks and lunched at Jason's Deli before Britni left for the Dentist and Jeff and I trotted off to Cullman, where we spent several hours visiting his exciting friend Alex and Alex's parents. They life in this incredily cluttered pellmell of a house on the lake; it's the most wonderful thing I ever did see. It's thrown together and full of beautiful knick-knacks and hidden corners and cozy spaces. It may be the first house I've ever fallen in love with. Anyway, we left there to visit with Jeff's parents before wandering homeward again.

So, that put us home on Friday, during which we paid a bill or two and that night I shot pool with my parents' and brother at DP's which was as humourous as it was fun... really fun. I needed that. Yesterday Mom and I traveled to Memphis to see Meagan's ball game, drove home half starved because there is nothing on 72, then I took a nap on the couch. Dad made gumbo which was incredibly (duh), and then Graham came over to the apartment and we (Graham, Jeff, and I) ate tacos and watched Munich. It was... violent. It was good though.

So... there you have it. A day by day account of 2008 so far. Reflections on the last year to come later... now, I want to read a book.

If you see Jesus, tell him to take the gerbil babies, they're Christians!

Well, well, cyberland, Merry Christmas to you! I hope your Christmas has been half as wonderful as mine. Things here were wonderful. It has been so nice to have all six of us in the same house. Ten years ago I wouldn't have believed that we'd get along so well. Ten years ago, we were 12, 10, 9, and 8, and a lot different than we are now. :) We exchanged family gifts Christmas Eve, then came down together the next morning. We ate dinner at my grandmother's with her and Uncle Jim and Aunt Alice and exchanged some gifts there. Today Aunt Dana and Uncle Keith arrive with the cousins, though I'll be at work. Sad day. I'm off tomorrow, though! I'll be spending the day at the lake and the night at O'Brian's. Yay!

Yesterday Bach took a nap with me, then last night he slept here, too. He and Bo have been a lot of fun. Let's see... New Year's Eve Eve will be spent at Camp McDowell, and New Year's Eve... maybe Birmingham? Maybe home? I don't know.

Anyway, I just wanted to record this as being one of my favorite Christmases. Mom, Dad, Lindsey, Graham, and Meagan are amazing. Even if we weren't related, I would want to hang out with them. Love and some verses,

All the rest are wrong-- they know nothing about us...

Today I vacuumed up a brown M&M at work, but the vacuum spit it right back out, and I briefly considered eating it.  I didn't have a hard-core point-counterpoint internal debate, but the thought did cross my mind.  I like to think of this situation, not in terms off all the negative things it may say about me, but more in terms of all the positive things it says about chocolate.

   The Special Session Christmas Party is Friday, and I've never been more ready!  I probably think that each year, but I don't think that necessarily makes it ever untrue.  Hey hey, Santa Clause, Kee Sloan, campers, friends, pizza, Christmas lights and Camp McDowell...

I've spent more time than dear old Books-a-Million would probably appreciate organizing the politics section at work.  Truth be told, I'm not aligned with the liberal agenda any more than I am with the conservative agenda sometimes, but it still brings me great pleasure to organize the books on those shelves.  Most titles are, of course, spine out, as one would usually put books on a shelf.  Some, though, are turned so that you can see the cover; usually this is done to display certain texts or just to take up space so the shelf looks packed (or for both reasons).  Anyway, amid the copies of The Mighty and the Almighty and Dead Certain, these titles stand out:
Follow the Money
A Woman in Charge (I don't even like her that much, but we have such ridiculous anti-Clinton books that I felt compelled...)
The Thumpin'
Day of Reckoning (Also not a fan of Buchanan, but I didn't have much else to choose from)
It's Getting Ugly Out There
Armed Americans (This is my ironic choice... really, it's just a huge book and hast to face this way... this is the only link I must require you to click... trust me, it's worth it.)
The Big Con
Giving
Broken Government
War on the Middle Class
From Beirut to Jerusalem
Crazies to the Left, Wimps to the Right
The Assault on Reason
god is not GOOD
Restless Virgins
Hubris
Bill of Wrongs
The Conscious of a Liberal
Cruel and Unusual
The Audacity of Hope
Dreams of My Father
The Secret History of the American Empire
Turnaround
Common Ground
The Fall of the House of Bush
State of Denial

   Umm, I'm gonna go add the rest of the links later.  For now, I am le tired.  Also, I'm linking them for your benefit, but also to look up these books... some people are quite tricky, and having had about 17 seconds a book to determine whether I wanted to pull it or not may have hindered the selection process.

I am also le recommending you all go listen to Terra Naomi.  I just fell in love with her.  Really.  Like, thirty minutes ago.  When I get off the computer, I'm going to find her house and propose to her.  You are invited to our wedding, but only if you bring a casserole of some sort.  Terra and I are big fans of pot-luck.

Let's sip champagne until we break into smiles...

I'm incredibly anxious about my exams tomorrow. I had one today, and it went okay. Not great, but okay. A lot of stuff I studied wasn't on the exam. Boo. Tomorrow I have Geography and Women's Studies, then it's over for another semester at least.

Updates... Jeff and I got our new dishwasher, but it doesn't work. Last night I went to Annette's house (one of my managers) and ate chicken and dumplings and apple pie-- it was fantastic! I love her to death. She gave me two ferns for the apartment; they are lovely! I also got a lightbulb I had ordered for one of the tall black lamps we had in our basement growing up. I was nervous that it wouldn't fit, but it did, so we can actually light the back half of our living room! Great timing, too... it came two days ago, I think, and the one little lightbulb we have blew today.

Things coming up... Thursday my Bible class is doing dinner at the Marriot, and am going to attend if at all possible. Friday after work Graham and I are headed to Camp McDowell for the Christmas party for Special Session! O'Brian and Meaghan graduate this weekend, and I couldn't be more proud! Umm... New Year's Eve Eve Reunion at McDowell on the 29th... that's it for now. Any plans anybody? Let me know A.S.A.P.

In other goings on... I met O'Brian's friend Matt the other night, and he's lovely. I hope we can hang out again soon. Also, Jonathan has been incredibly attentive and hanging out a lot in the last month or two, and it's been amazing!!! I also love love love J.T.-- a kindred spirit if there ever was one! I've seen Jessica several times recently, however briefly, and I've spent some great time with my family and cousins.

Anyway, school stress will be over tomorrow, and then I shall be free!

This is what Florence always looks like.

I'm a little nervous about what you'll say when you see me in my swimmin' trunks.

Hey hey! How's your day so far?

Today I've gone to Personality and cleaned up the kitchen a bit, but that's about it. I have a make-up test this afternoon, Geography class, and work from 4 to 9:30. We're supposed to get our new dishwasher here soon!

Yesterday was a really good day. I went to Bible, where we discussed homosexuality and the text; I found the discussion very interesting and I liked hearing what Nancy had to say. In Women's Studies, we talked about racism (we're on our chapter about what divides women in the fight for equality). I really really enjoyed our discussion, both because I felt I had something intelligent to bring to the conversation as well as because everyone in there is so open minded and interesting that we could actually discuss things without fear of offense. It was great. After that Jonathan picked me up from the apartment and we headed to the Mac store in Huntsville because he needed something for a presentation, then we drove by Phuket, but alas, they were closed. It's probably for the best because it looked expensive. We ate at the Macaroni Grill, which was fabulous, grabbed a milkshake at a local drive through, and headed home!

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot I went in to grab my keys then headed to Park Blvd., arriving seconds before my dad. We then left for Birmingham to watch my sister play basketball! She did a great job, and she got to play a lot. I guess normally she doesn't get much play time, which makes sense because she's a freshman, but they played Judson and it was a blow-out. Final score: Judson 33, BSC 100. While there Moonie came up to sit with us during half-time and then Thomas came over in the last quarter, which was super nice. He had been to see Eli Wiesel, who spoke at the school last night. Wow.

Man, I talked a lot on the drive with my dad. We had almost non-stop conversation, which was amazing. HE is amazing. He's just become such a positive person, and so accepting of people. It's incredible! We talked about school and work and family and his family and grandmomma and music. Anyway, after two hours in the car with Jonathan and four with Dad, my legs are sore from sitting and my throat is dry from chattering like an insane monkey and my brain is full and my heart is overflowing. :)

We'll be playmates and lovers...

I really like going to Wal-mart, where I spend an hour picking out the freshest organic vegetables, buy only 100% juice, get organic milk and free-range eggs, and maybe a block of extra-firm tofu, before going to through the check out and grabbing a bag a Doritos and a Dr. Pepper.

Oh, it's so amazing here...

"No matter how upside-down it all may temporarily appear, we will have no fear because we know this secret: Life is crazily in love with us—wildly and innocently in love with us. The universe always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it."

Jonathan asked me the other day if I would be such a positive person if I didn't surround myself with positive things all the time; we had been reviewing some recent Notes from the Universe (introduced to me by Jess). It was a passing query, but something I've thought about a lot recently, and I suppose it's a chicken-or-the-egg sort of thing. I suppose it must have eventually started with one or the other, but now it is a process with two steps dependent on one another. Anyway, if you're reading this, I probably consider you one of those positives with which I prefer to be surrounded. So, thank you.

Could you do me a favor and re-read the quote above? Now, if you saw the italics and didn't read it the first time, this means you need to read it twice in order to re-read it as I asked. I suggest reading out-loud, but to each his or her own. I suppose you may become tired of this positive-thinking mumbo-jumbo that seems to appear periodically on this web log of mine, but I want you to know that I really believe that the whole world is conspiring to shower us with blessings. I want you to know that.

Over the summer, I lost a hundred dollars towards the middle of July, I believe it was. Lindsey and I had been packing for the staff trip to Fort Morgan, and were wildly tired and insanely ready to be away from our cabins for a bit, having just been ousted for the third time that summer. I had a hundred dollars from a check cashed weeks ago that I planned to use on the trip. Once we got in the car, though, that beautiful little bill was gone gone. It wasn't a really big deal (I mean, I know it should have been, but spilled milk and all that, right?); Graham and Lindsey pitched in to get me food and what not and I paid them back later. I even told them that the money was either going to be found by someone else who could really use the extra money right then (we were leaving our cabins to Camp Kaleidoscope) or it was going to be found by me when I really needed it.

Well, tonight, I found it. I found it in an old cardboard box that has been moved from three different places, starting at camp and ending, yesterday, in my current apartment. I've dug through this box a dozen times or more, many of them actually looking for the money because it was the most likely place for it to have landed. How I managed to miss it, I've no idea, but I'm glad I did, because right now I need it.

Little things like this seem to happen a lot, and I hope I never forget to be thankful. There have been several times where I've needed the rend money and the next day Rosario would call to ask me to work for a long weekend. Last year at a time when I really wanted/needed to go to Birmingham, I found the $25 gas coupon my parents had given me for Christmas that had been unseen for months; it was under a couch I moved looking for a dime I had dropped. As early as a couple weeks ago, Aunt Alice came to visit and offered a boost that allowed me to fill our fridge and pantry for the first time in months! (Not that I had been starving... I notice that sounds a wee bit pathetic. However, I had eating off dollar menus and Mexican carry-out and dine-in meals taken home in two doggy bags to last for 3 meals more.)

It's not always money, of course... I promise that your calls, texts, and emails are always timed perfectly. YOU are timed perfectly.

I caught a trucker out of Philly, and he told a good joke.

Oh Dr. Mario, why did I just waste three hours playing you online?

And Rob says you love, love, love, then you die...

It's been to long since I posted, yet again. One day I will look at October 2007 entries and be sad that I didn't post more. Or maybe I'll laugh at how sentimental I was at 22. We'll see.

I'm at the Tomlinson's, waking up early to take the boys to school. I had to come tonight so I could have the car; Stephen and Rosario are going out of town tomorrow morning and I have William and Harris until Sunday afternoon. Yay! I'm excited about this.

I've been at Bookland for over a week now; things are okay. I love being around the books, and I wants to read everything, jeez. It's pretty boring, though. I'd rather do almost any menial task that just stand in one place for hours. We aren't supposed to do anything but straighten where we're standing. No food, drink, gum. No music. No reading. No reading at a bookstore? Yes, folks. No reading. Which would be understandable at, say, Books-a-Million. We have next to nobody in our store, though... oh, well.

Saturday after work I partied it up at J-Rob's, wOOt! I went as a country gal and Jeff went as Euro-trash. Meaghan was a gypsy and T.J. was a knight. We caravaned from the house in Sheffield, and on the way I blew out my tire, so Teej and Jeff changed it in the parking lot of Florence High School. It set a rather poor tone for the night, as I am below broke. I'm in debted to Jeff up to my ears with all these apartment bills. Man. Anyway, we finally made it (after splitting up and just looking for the place), where we were greeted by Mario (Thomas) and the sexy vixen cop Jennifer and the lovely queen Jennifer, as well as roommate Mandy and lamo Lance and Tyler, who weren't dressed up. ;)

We had a jolly good time, drinking and playing beer pong and flip cups and whatnot, then off to bed and wake up late and then to work! I don't remember what I did Sunday night... Monday I had a test in Women's Studies which I did not do well on. I knew the stuff, but I spent way too much time on the second essay question and nowhere near enough on the third, which was worth more points. Drat.

Oh, also Monday Jeff and I were approved for a townhouse in Florence! We've been moving stuff in since then, and we're almost completely there now. I'm really excited about our new home; come visit!!!

Umm.... backtracking... Tuesday was my momma's birthday! I didn't get to see her, but we talked on the phone a couple times. Wednesday was Halloween, and work was great because we had hundreds of children come to the store because the mall does store-to-store trick-or-treating. There were so many beautiful children; it made me miss day cares a lot. I also saw Jordan, who's applying at Gamestop. That'd be funtastic. Anyway, Jeff picked me up and we went to Christian's for just a little bit; it was late and we're kinda lame so we didn't stay, but it looked like a really fun party; we also got to see Louise, which was a super-pleasant suprise!

Alrighty... I'm gonna head to bed... I have too much to say right now to continue this post. So, to go over the highlights: my friends are amazing, I have a new apartment, I love you very very very much.

We could be daytime drunks if we wanted. We'd never get anything done that way, baby. And we'd still be ruled by our dueling perspectives... and I'm not my perpective... or the lies I'll tell you... everytime...

One must have chaos within oneself if one is to be a dancing star...

I got glasses again (finally).

I just got a job at Bookland (I start on the 22nd).

I'm going to Birmingham this afternoon (with Jeff).

I may be working Saturday (but I may be working Sunday instead).

I'm broke, but I'm happy.

I'm poor, but I'm kind.

Hipster Olympics!!!

If the days aren't easy, and the nights are rough...

Say yes we live uncertainty
And disappointments have to be
And everyday we might be facing more
And yes we live in desperate times
But fading words and shaking rhymes
There’s only one thing here worth hoping for
With Lucifer beneath you and God above
If either one of them asks you what your living of
Say love, say for me love
Say love, say for me love

Note to Self

damn this quicksand

hungry sucking sounds make
bile rise in my stomach

throw me a goddamn rope

or would you rather watch
this slow-motion train wreck?

you know how dangerous it is to be born with breasts

We just watched a film about sexism in advertising, and I almost started weeping in class. Not crying, not bawling, but weeping... the tears of a dull ache that can't be fixed with a kiss and a band-aid. I know this sounds melodramatic to some of you, but I'm about done being apologetic about my budding passion for women's studies. It's more than a new interest or a temporary hobby. These things are so important, so very real, and they affect everyone.

We saw ad after ad where women were made into objects... literally, objects. They were beer cans and cars. We saw tons with women objectified and sexualized, where they were tied up and gagged, where they covered their mouths and bit their lips. And the women... 100% of the women in advertising represent a body type that describes 5% of our culture. In addition, the women are flawless to the point of obscurity, now more so than ever as computers reshape chins, delete wrinkles, erase necklines, broaden eyes, whiten teeth...

This particular video dealt with their sexualization, but it's more than that... My current least favorite commercial is a LeanCuisine commercial, I believe. It features a line of women discussing the bland dinners they suffered through the night before, expect one lady who details her succulent meal. What gets me about this advertisement, what drives me absolutely mad, is that no one questions why the hell five perfectly fit women are on a diet!!! It didn't occur to me until last week to question it, and I've seen the damn thing a million times!

They are not just eating healthily. To maintain their tiny figures (and the women on these commercials are incredibly thin), they must starve themselves? That's ridiculous!!! If you can't keep a size 2 waist while eating healthy, balanced meals, you are not meant to have a size 2 waist! Now, I'm all for feeling good about yourself and treating your body right, but I think this goes beyond that. Skipping meals or going to the gym five times a week to maintain a figure you weren't born to have is unnatural and unhealthy for both body and mind.

And it starts so young! Which reminds me, I am boycotting Calvin Klein, as the ads we saw today made me vomit in my mouth. More than any other company, this brand sexualizes children. It was disgusting, and I've never felt so gross as when I saw a mostly naked fifteen year old trying to sell jeans. I felt dirty for even seeing the commercial.

Maybe the worse thing for me right now, though, is my inability to separate what I want and what I'm told to want. I've been on and off diets since I was 12 years old, long before anyone, ANYONE, should be dieting. Now, I'm trying to loose some weight. And I don't eat badly!!! I have a diet full of vegetables and fruits and whole grains and protein! I walk around campus and around my neighborhood and the mall! I drink water, lots of water, and I've cut things like corn syrup out of my diet almost completely! So... why do I struggle to shed inches, and squeeze myself into pants a size to small? I don't have an entirely organic meal plan, but I don't eat fast food with any sort of regularity, nor any other product equally unhealthy. I'm taking care of my body.

This probably needs cleaning up, as there is infinitely more to say and plenty more intelligent ways to say it, but I wanted to get this out before I exploded...

Crazy- what are you, then?

Most people associate innocence with naiveté. Conventional wisdom regards it as belonging to children and fools and rookies who lack the sophistication or experience to know the tough truths about life. But the Beauty and Truth Laboratory recognizes a different kind of innocence. It's based on an understanding that the world is always changing, and therefore deserves to be seen fresh every day. This alternative brand of innocence is fueled by an aggressive determination to empty one's imagination of all preconceptions. "Ignorance is not knowing anything and being attracted to the good," wrote Clarissa Pinkola-Estes in Women Who Run With the Wolves. "Innocence is knowing everything and still being attracted to the good."

And the sky opened up with the soil of the sun...

Hello, cyber-friends, and welcome to the much anticipated return of Grace's Random Ramblings. While updates are infrequent and often times incomprehensible, you can always count on complete sentences and accurate punctuation.*

*No representation is made that the quality of blogging services is greater than the quality of blogging services offered elsewhere.

So... we're headed to the Quest tonight, and maybe the Yacht Club (which I have never attended). We just went from having no place to sleep to three offers, which is fantastic and means we won't have to crash someone's pad with just a grin and a guilt trip. Yay!

In other news... I've been spending a lot of time with my Little, and it's been fantastic. We're meeting once a week to work on homework. We might be going to Chuck E. Cheese on Tuesday. I watched her play soccer last weekend, and she did a great job.

I'm applying for jobs around town next week. I'm also going to keep Harris a couple times a week; they're pulling him out of day care. I'm not sure how that's going to work.

The fair is this weekend, but I don't think I'm going. Sad day. Big Spring Jam is next weekend, and I am going to that. I'm very excited. Hmm... apartment shopping is going well, I suppose. We have a list of places, but we haven't toured any yet. On that note, though, we're going to stay where we are until they sell-- you can't beat the rent we're paying.

In closing, I'll be updating this thing much more frequently, starting now.

The people thought that they were just being rewarded...

Guess who is playing house? That's right, yours truly. I've got the boys for five days. It's rather intimidating, but I'm still excited. I took them to school this morning, and I'll pick them up again around 2:30. I have class from 10 to 12 today. I really like both of my classes. In "Intro to Women's Studies," we have a speaker coming today from Rape Response. It should be interesting.

I have a lot I need to do, starting with calling my Little, Jessica. I talked to her some last week, but plans went ary when I had to schedule a doctor's appointment. I'm going to ask her grandmother if I can pick her up every Monday after school and take her to the library, where we can do homework together. Lametastic, right? Maybe not, though. I think I would have thought homework less atrocious if I got to break the routine of it sometimes. We'll see how it goes.

Life is busy busy busy! I still need to find a job before I let myself get to comfortable working for the Tomlinsons again. I need to get my oil changed. I need to find a new apartment. Ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got a little nostalgic about camp last night, and I'm not sure why. Maybe I was dreaming about it in my sporadic sleep. I started missing some of you folks muchly. I was also thinking about how quickly we adjust from situation to situation. Anyway, I'm ready to play sometime soon.

I also have a message from Lindsey on facebook, but I can't check it from here because they've blocked that and myspace. Saaaad day. Oh, I have a reminder for everyone. Check it out. It can't hurt.

Umm, let's see. I spent a fantastic weekend in Florida with Lance and Jeff at dear Jessica's. The drive down wasn't bad, I guess. I slept for a good bit of it as I tried to ward of a stomach bug I had. I think it may have been something I ate. It was decidedly unpleasant. I vomited at this one tiny gas station, and I'm pretty sure the whole store was listening. It was crazy loud. Eww. Once we got there the weather was beautiful and the company pleasant. We saw dolphins up close and went out for sea food once and watched a lot of television. It was great. The drive back was... tiring. We probably should have left earlier. I wish I'd gone back home early Monday morning, but we didn't. I didn't know my sisters would be in town. Blah! We did eat lunch with Jeff's parents, though, and that was nice.

Tuesday Jeff and I went to the lake for a bit, then we met the fam (Mom, Dad, Graham, Aunt Alice, Uncle Jim, and Grandmomma) at Ricatoni's for dinner. It was fantastic. We had a good time, and Jeff and I got lots of leftovers! Yay!

I said, "Do ya speak-a my language?"

Big Spring Jam is Friday, September 28, through Sunday, September 30. Bands I'm super excited about? Foreigner and the Avett Brothers. Other bands I'd like to see: Sawyer Brown, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic, Pat Greene, Los Lonely Boys and the Commodores. I'm not really into Breaking Benjamin, but I know some of you fine folk are, and they'll be there as well! Also, I'm going to St. Thomas that Sunday. I'm gonna call Rosemary and see if I (and whoever wants to come with) can sleep at her house. If for some reason that weekends no good for her, I'm pretty sure someone in Huntsville will let me crash there. Yay for lots of friends!

In the next month or two I'm going to get a Net Flix account. I'm pretty pumped about that. Recently Jeff and I have been plowing steadily through Avatar and Nip/Tuck. Soon I would like to begin The Sopranos (my parents have that) and maybe the O.C. (because Lance demands it).

There are so many people I need to call and see and visit and invite. I miss several people from camp, and I still haven't recconnected with a lot of people here that I'd really like to see. I need to hang out with Jessica, my Little, who I haven't seen in forever, as well as my grandmother, who I miss a lot. Wahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You like to put jelly on ladies?

Meagan left for Birmingham this morning. Man oh man. It is official, I suppose. We're all in college. Crazy! I'm doing the normal nostalgic nosedive into depression, but it's nothing new and nothing serious. I love my family. I love this house.

Tonight I'm going to babysit for the Tomlinsons. I saw them Thursday. They've definitely grown in the last three months! Harris is speaking in full sentences. They were both so wonderful; it was great to see Rosario, too, although she was sick, and I hope she's feeling better now. Next month I'll be staying with them five days in a row. I'll be taking them to day care and everything... I get to play house! And at a gorgeous home, too... it's amazing what the desolate little mountain lot has become.

This semester I have Intro to Women's Studies, The Bible as Literature, Geography II, and Personality. I'm really excited about my schedule, aside from the Geography, but even it should be okay.

All of us are crazy good in one way or another.

I must get back into the habit of updating this thing.

So. So so so.

Classes start tomorrow! I have a potential schedule, but I can't register until my advisor gets back in town (tomorrow) and releases my hold. Classes should be fun and interesting. I can't graduate by December. Also, I was just told yesterday that I have to have a minor. While I was interested in obtaining one in Women's Studies anyway, I'm a little floored that I've met with three or more teachers about my degree and have never been told this bit of information. Jeez.

Jeff and I are renting/house sitting? at a little place on Gordon Avenue in Sheffield. It's precious. We did fondu there last week with Meaghan, Moony, Graham, O'Brian, and Jessica. Jessica? Yes, Jessica! She was in town for a while.

Time to backtrack and give a rundown of my life since the last post:

~ Camp ended. The last session was fun and tiring and right on time. I had a groovy cabin.
~ I road with Ryan to Birmingham, where I was dropped off at Tyler and Brittney's apartment.
~ Tyler, Lance, Brittney, Rachel, Bailey, Jennifer, Thomas, and I went to eat at P.F. Chang's
~ In celebration of Tyler's 21st, we headed to Loco's.
~ Daniel came, too, along with Lauren Banks, Miller and Jack (who I hadn't met before)
~ We had a rip-roaring good time, then went back to Tyler's to celebrate some more
~ Jeff got me and we went back home to look at the house mentioned above.
~ Meaghan, O'Brian, and I went to Fort Walton to visit Jessica.
~ We spent two different days on the beach, and saw some huge jelly fish.
~ We went to Howl at the Moon, one of Jessica's hang-out spots.
~ O'Brian and Meaghan left early Monday morning; Jessica and I left shortly after.
~ J-Money and I stayed the night in Birmingham with Lance, Tyler, and Brittney.

Since being home, Jessica, Jeff, Jonathan, Mooney, Meagan, Melissa, and I went bowling, and aftwards Jessica and Jonathan came to the house to watch The Labrynth. Funtimes. Jessica and I also hung out a lot this week; she went home yesterday.

Now Jeff and I are at the UNA library working on his resume/playing on facebook. This afternoon we're going to move my bed to the house. Yay! Yesterday we moved some other randomness (and a lot of clothes) in. I'm about to do some serious cleaning and ditching of useless knickknacks.

Tomorrow we're going to Loui Loui's, at the invitation of Louise. I'm sure there's more to record, but for now, I'm going to do a crossword. Hurrah!

When the sun shines, we'll shine together...

Here it comes... the last session of the summer. Despite the waves of stomach turning nostalgia that hit every time I move from any temporary home, I'm excited about being back in Sheffield soon.

The plan for now... pre-camp starts at 3 today. We'll have campers tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday morning. They leave Sunday afternoon, and we spend the pm hours cleaning and whatnot, and I assume hanging out around camp. There's talk of staying Monday night as well, but if we don't I'll probably head to Birmingham for Tyler's birthday!

I leave for Fort Walton again on the 9th with Mdawg and my main man O'Brian Gunn (haven't spent time with them in ages, looking forward to the seven hour drive, believe it or not!), then we get back on the 12th or so, and I move into Jeff's apartment (Chris is moving to Birmingham!). Man, so much, so much. Back to camp for the last time as an employee this summer... love to all of you.

And Max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all.

Life as of late has been quite the roller coaster. Last session was stressful for me, and I got super irritated at several people, but other parts were great. The last night, I took my cabin stargazing. We went up the hill and spread out a few blankets, and we read the last two chapters of Hope for the Flowers, which I've read to every cabin I've had thus far. They really loved it. Then we all lay with our heads in the middle and talked about a lot of different things, from Napoleon Dynamite to alcoholism. It was intense. Around 11 we headed back towards the cabin, but before we could get there Carpenter, the cabin of Mr. Wil Heflin, jumped out of the woods and scared the bejesus out of my seven campers (I originally had 9, but two had to leave early, which was a major bummer... also, Lauren Maggart was co-leader of the cabin this past session, as she was my fabulous CIT). Almost to bed when Ed's Cabin, lead by Kathryn, jumped out of the dark to frightene the girls again (they were laying in wait for Carol Smith, but alas, CS were late getting back). Once in our cabin, we prepared for bed before yet another scare as John Michael led Advent in a rousing game of "bang on the windows and scare the crap out of Barnwell." It was a fabulous night.

Also noteworthy of last session: At one of the staff meetings, the lovely male counselors decided to have a cue word (it happened to be "Amen") on which they would remove their clothing, so at the end of the opening prayer, a handful of counselors were suddenly half-naked as the rest of us proceeded to gaze from face to face making sure we weren't the sole outsiders on this inside joke. With our boss, two priests, and all the bewildered people in the room, it made for one of the most hilarious things I've ever been privileged to witness.

Before Junior High II (the session I described above), the staff went to the beach house of the Kendrick family in Fort Morgan for our two day break!!! It was amazing, despite early feelings of unease on my part. On the way down, Graham, Lindsey, and I listened to The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon. It was absolutely incredible. I highly reccommend it to anyone, especially though who wish a better understanding of autism, specifially in regard to the way they process information and their feelings on being touched. Anyway, we walked down to the water where most of the folks were hanging out already; I was wearing a glow bracelet which Ryan took with his teeth, bursting the plastic and dribbling a glowing green galaxy on the wet sand under our feet. Chris and Worth played guitar on and off and on again throughout out our breif stay, giving a specific memory to the song "At the Beach." Lindsey, Graham, and I spent the morning making spaghetti and meatballs and sausage for everyone, as well as key lime pie and jello! It was so fun to cook with them, and I love the satisfied feeling of feeding a hungry crowd.

Speaking of the beach- I just got back from Fort Walton! The siblings and I left camp around 12:30 (I think) Monday and returned home, where we visited with the parents and sister and did various errands and such. Soon, Emily (who traveled with us, hurray!) and Lindsey left for Birmingham and then the lakehouse where the staff decided to get together this break (sans me, this time), and soon afterward Jeff came over and he and I began our journey down to Birmingham as well, where we met Lance and Britni at Tyler and Britney's apartment. We moved our stuff to Lance's vehicle and got on our way to Jessica's! Five-ish hours later we found ourselves on her doorstep, tired but otherwise jolly, and happy, of course, to be there. We awoke early the next morning and enjoyed a lovely french toast breakfast before making a be-line for the shore, where we idled away most of the day, loosening our tongues and baking in the sun and rolling around in the cool cool ocean. Eventually we packed up and headed home, stopping first to enjoy dinner at a lovely local restaurant and meandering about the neat little shopping center it called home. We also stopped at Baskin Robin's, where Britni re-discovered bubble gum ice cream (with chiclets!), a long lost part of her childhood. Back at Jessica's, we popped the cork on a bottle of champagne, put Closer on the telly, and promptly fell asleep and the devilish hour of 11.

Yesterday we lounged about the apartment for most of the morning, cursing Books-a-Million for calling Jessica into work and bemoaning our various and uncomfortable sunburns before hitting the sands again (lathered in SPF 35, of course). From the get-go it was a nature kind of day; I caught a tiny fish in my cupped hands with 10 minutes of arriving. Later Jeff and I observed various schools of fish, from a small group looking for protection in the shade of their dear savior Jeff to a larger commune attempting (we believe) to eat said smaller group. My feet were also bombarded by little sand colored fish later in the day, and we witnessed several rather largish jelly fish, including one who felt inclined to hug my leg from the back of my knee to the top of my ankle. I confess, that particular brush with sea life I could have done without. We left that night a bit before nine, caravanning this time with Tyler, who had been with his family in Destin for the week.

This break was what I needed, I think. I'm quite refreshed, please and thank you, and looking forward to Elementary II. I rather like this age group (entering 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, I believe), and I'm excited about being back at camp. The summer is quickly coming to a close. I know this is a long update, but I suppose it's rather more for my fading memory than for your viewing pleasure, though if you do happen to scan these paragraphs, I hope you find it quite informative and at least mildly entertaining. Love!

I am crying in the bathroom.

Hello, folks.

How's life? Going well, I hope.

Things are good here. We've had many sessions since we last talked, including Special Session, which is by far the best (but who didn't expect that?). I just love that staff so much. As they were arriving I felt like the Grinch when his heart expands, increasing a size with every wonderful person to show up. I do wish I'd been less tired, because I think I missed out on a lot of staff bonding time, but I like that we're close enough that it's okay. Dewayne Handley is my life. Britni coming made the whole week 1234 times better than it would otherwise have been. Lance, Mark, and Jeff dropping made for a fantastic dance, and did the engagement of the beautiful beautiful (inside and out) Anne and Blake; I don't think I've ever had so much confidence in a life-long partnership as I do in the two of them.

Other things... staph! That's right, lots of the staff had staph, although I believe the worst of it is over. Apparently, it's not contagious, despite spreading to 4 different people (a coincidence, we were assured). Crazy.

Umm... my birthday! Amazing. The entire camp woke me up by yelling "good morning, Grace" outside my cabin door at 7ish in the morning. I don't think I've had a better wake up call in my entire life. I got to wear a fun crown all day (which I still wear from time to time), and Meagan came for a surprise visit around rest time! After doing compline with my family (siblings and Katie (Morgan was at camp that week, too, but she went on the overnight)), I got back to my cabin to find a Lance and a Britni and a Tyler and a Cooper! Granted, I had to immediately send them home because we can't have surprise visitors during the session, but they brought me a chocolate cake and made the day perfect.

Oh! I got a new phone! I don't really like it, but I'm sure I will... anyway, I don't have any of your numbers, so call me and leave me a voicemail so I can get in contact with you at some point, kthanks. Also, a letter? Anyone? O'Brian sent me a letter, and it was amazing, and I felt super loved. I'll be writing you back soooon, love. My address:

105 Delong Road
Nauvoo, Alabama 35578

Last week Nancy was at camp and in my cabin; it was great spending time with her. I've also gotten to see Aunt Laura a couple times this summer, which is nice, because I miss her. Grandmomma picked Nancy up Thursday after some mishaps, and brought with her Morgan, so yay for seeing them, as well!

God knows there's so much more to tell you, Reader. Camp is just full of mind-blowing experiences, all of which I need to record. For now, I'm tired, and ready for breakfast, and then church with the fam. I may update again before I leave in a few hours, but I make no promises.

Untrue. I make you this promise:

You have changed my life by your presence in mine, and I love you for that.

"Love is being stupid together," said French poet Paul Valéry.

To celebrate your ramble through the most wildly independent phase of your astrological cycle, I'm offering you three inspirational quotes. The first is from poet e.e. cummings: "To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle that any human being can fight." Your second shot of motivation is from Clarissa Pinkola Estes: "If you have ever been called defiant, incorrigible, forward, cunning, insurgent, unruly, or rebellious, you're on the right track. If you have never been called these things, there is yet time." Lastly, here's a Hindu proverb: "There is nothing noble in being superior to some other person. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self."

The angels sang when you were born.

Soooo... I'm feeling pretty homesick right now. I miss you guys a lot. Jessica was in town last week, and I couldn't see her, and I hate hate hate that. I haven't spent real quality time, like no schedule, just us time, with Lance probably all year. I got to see Jeff a week ago or so, which I think made me miss him that much more. I miss O'Brian and Jonathan a lot, too, not to mention all my other wonderful friends (and I'm not going to try and list you all).

So much to tell you! But no time. Ever. I have a sheet of memory cues in my cabin, but I'll need to take time to actually read each one and let the memories sink back in before I type it all out.

Last night was fun. I'm finally clicking with a lot of the staff. Lee left last week; we was one of the first people I got close to. That blows. The staff is cool as shit, though. No lie. We just ended Junior High I; before that was Senior Camp (which BLEW MY MIND), and before that Elemtary I. Next is Sophomore Camp, and Katie and Morgan will be here! Hurray!

Some random things... we played Laser Tag the other day, and I was the top scorer in my game! Woohoo!

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be. Love always, Charlie